Chapter 48 I Messed Up

Emma POV

I messed up.

I should have never let him kiss me.

Now I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about his lips on mine, his hands on my body, and his scent all around me.

I messed up pretty bad.

I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I was painfully aware of him sleeping in the room opposite mine. He’s already moved in.

Every part of my body wanted to run to him. I wanted to feel his hands on me. I wanted to feel his lips on my neck. I wanted to sink my canines into his neck, marking him and letting everybody know that he was mine.

But the voice inside my head kept screaming at me. I felt like I was tied up to my own bed, unable to do what my body craved to do.

And I knew that the voice was right.

Logan didn’t want me. He would soon realize that I was still the same small, weak she-wolf he rejected. Only this rejection would hurt so much more. It would probably kill me.

I was already battling with the memories from the cave. I had a hard time stopping Rolf’s words from constantly repeating in my mind. I could still smell that awful smell of wolfsbane mixed with my own blood. I could still see the orange hue that fire created on the cave walls. I could still feel the cold floor of the cave on every part of my

body.

My body was out, but my brain was still trapped inside that cave.

And I wasn’t sure I was ever going to get

out.

If I added the pain of his rejection on top of all that, I didn’t know if I would be strong enough to keep on going.

Especially now that I got a taste of him, now that I knew what it felt like to have his hands on my body.

I groaned and closed my eyes.

This was going to be so hard.

It would be so much easier if he stayed in the packhouse. I wouldn’t have to see him all the time. I wouldn’t have to feel him close to me. I wouldn’t be

surrounded by his scent all the time.

I opened my eyes and sighed.

‘Eliza?’ I called my wolf.

she

a run?’ I asked, hoping she would

His scent

Eliza asked, and I could feel

shifted since my birthday. I knew Eliza wanted to be

‘I need to get out

understood immediately. ‘Let’s go,

a hoodie over my pajamas and put on a pair of sweats. I put on socks and sneakers and walked over to my window, opening it as quietly

go for a run in the middle of the night. Maybe they wouldn’t forbid me to go, but

landed in soft snow. I stayed crunched down for a few moments, waiting to see if Logan or

I couldn’t hear anything,

up

the

my clothes and folded them in a pile under the tree. I was shivering, and

Em?’ Eliza asked

said with

It wasn’t as painful as the first time, but it wasn’t comfortable

‘We haven’t shifted in

okay.’ I smiled and

down and

and moonlight made me look like

I grinned and took

mind. Now that I was away from Logan and his scent, I could think clearly. I couldn’t let him kiss me again. I couldn’t let him touch me again. Not until I had time to think about everything. Not until I had time to decide what

Eliza whined after

sighed. ‘He doesn’t want me,

Logan wants us. Logan regrets rejecting us, Emma. He

going to remember why he

in the first place.’ I said. ‘Nothing’s changed. I’m still the same girl he didn’t want. I won’t be able to survive the next rejection, Eliza. It will kill

to live in this pack with him close?’ she whined again. ‘We would still want him. It would be torture.’

was thinking of leaving for a while.’ I shrugged. ‘Visit other packs, travel, get some

about Andrew and Asher? I don’t want to

come back, Eliza.’ I sighed. ‘We wouldn’t leave

respond, I heard the panicked voices of Andrew and Logan in my mind.

at the

time.

my own feet, and landed

Shit.

could

back right now!

the snow off

I just wanted to

said. Right now.

What was

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