Chapter 48 I Messed Up

Emma POV

I messed up.

I should have never let him kiss me.

Now I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop thinking about his lips on mine, his hands on my body, and his scent all around me.

I messed up pretty bad.

I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I was painfully aware of him sleeping in the room opposite mine. He’s already moved in.

Every part of my body wanted to run to him. I wanted to feel his hands on me. I wanted to feel his lips on my neck. I wanted to sink my canines into his neck, marking him and letting everybody know that he was mine.

But the voice inside my head kept screaming at me. I felt like I was tied up to my own bed, unable to do what my body craved to do.

And I knew that the voice was right.

Logan didn’t want me. He would soon realize that I was still the same small, weak she-wolf he rejected. Only this rejection would hurt so much more. It would probably kill me.

I was already battling with the memories from the cave. I had a hard time stopping Rolf’s words from constantly repeating in my mind. I could still smell that awful smell of wolfsbane mixed with my own blood. I could still see the orange hue that fire created on the cave walls. I could still feel the cold floor of the cave on every part of my

body.

My body was out, but my brain was still trapped inside that cave.

And I wasn’t sure I was ever going to get

out.

If I added the pain of his rejection on top of all that, I didn’t know if I would be strong enough to keep on going.

Especially now that I got a taste of him, now that I knew what it felt like to have his hands on my body.

I groaned and closed my eyes.

This was going to be so hard.

It would be so much easier if he stayed in the packhouse. I wouldn’t have to see him all the time. I wouldn’t have to feel him close to me. I wouldn’t be

surrounded by his scent all the time.

I opened my eyes and sighed.

‘Eliza?’ I called my wolf.

she responded sleepily.

you up for a run?’ I asked, hoping she

while. His scent was driving me crazy. I was seconds away from running to him.

and I could feel

I knew Eliza wanted to be set free

need to get out of

immediately. ‘Let’s

hoodie over my pajamas and put on a pair of sweats. I put on socks and sneakers and walked over to my window, opening it as quietly as I

the middle of the night. Maybe they wouldn’t forbid me to go, but they would surely

of my window carefully and jumped off the roof. I landed in soft snow. I

hear anything, I

up

to the tree

and folded them in a pile under the tree. I was shivering, and

Eliza

said with

eyes and let Eliza take over. It wasn’t as painful as the first time, but

sorry, Emma.’ Eliza said. ‘We haven’t shifted in a

and opened my

wolf’s eyes. I looked down and saw my white

combination of snow and moonlight made me

I grinned and

was running through the woods, feeling the cold air brush through my fur. The feeling was amazing. The fresh air helped me clear my mind. Now that I was away from Logan and his scent, I could think clearly. I couldn’t let him kiss me again. I couldn’t let him touch me again. Not until I

reject him?’ Eliza whined after listening

‘He doesn’t want me,

does!’ she exclaimed. ‘Leon wants us. Logan wants us. Logan regrets

is going to remember why he

said. ‘Nothing’s changed. I’m still the same girl he didn’t want. I won’t be able to survive the next rejection, Eliza. It

going to live in this pack with him close?’ she whined again. ‘We would still want him.

of leaving for a while.’ I shrugged. ‘Visit other packs, travel, get some new experiences.’

Andrew and Asher? I don’t want to leave my

I sighed. ‘We wouldn’t

the panicked voices of Andrew and Logan in my

at the same

time.

so scared I stopped abruptly, tripped over my own feet,

Shit.

could hear Logan’s

right now!

up and shook the

back. I’m close by. I just wanted

Right now. It’s

What was he talking about?

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