Use Your Sisters Instead: EP1

Introduction: To stay out of hell, he'll have to stick it in his sisters. Read and enjoy....

Mary had a problem: her 19-year-old son, Michael, would not stop masturbating.

Mary had never had this problem with Michael's three sisters. They weren't jamming their hands down their pants every free minute they got. Mary, herself, had certainly never done such things. She was sure that her John had not, as well, when he was alive. How else had he gotten her with child in such quick succession? A family of four children in four years was the sign of a truly moral man.

Mary found out about Michael's habit in the usual way. She went into his bedroom to pick up the laundry and there he was, jamming on himself like a deranged animal. It was horrible, and she told him to stop immediately. Mary was angry at her son, of course, but most of all she was scared. She knew what Michael was doing was a terrible sin.

But Michael kept masturbating despite the impending doom it implied. He did his best to hide his activities. But once Mary knew the signs - the closed door, the loud music, the mysteriously sticky underwear and the vast consumption of tissues - she was always able to catch him.

Mary started off being kind. She patiently explained that it was natural for a boy Michael's age to have urges, but that God wanted him to remain pure. Then Mary threatened her son, telling him that every ejaculation would lead him one step closer to eternal damnation. She even tried punishments, ordering him off to bed without dinner as soon as she saw what he was up to. But everything she tried only seemed to make him do it more.

With nowhere left to turn, Mary went to talk to their family priest. She was embarrassed, of course. Admitting that she couldn't control her son, keep him on the moral path, made her feel like a failure. But Mary needed Father Donovan's wisdom more than her pride.

They met in his private office. Everything smelled slightly of old books and fresh potpourri. Sitting on the far side of Father Donovan's oversized wooden desk, Mary told him everything.

"I'm sorry Mary," Father Donovan said, "I know that losing your husband so young was hard for your family. Michael in particular. But masturbation is a sin. God is very clear about this. Man is only permitted to ejaculate inside a woman's vagina. Not in his underwear, a tissue, his own hand, or... Well, anywhere else he might think to put it."

"But he'll go to Hell," Mary said and sobbed.

"That's why he needs your help."

*

The long drive home gave Mary plenty of time to think about her problem. Could she wrap Michael's penis in something that kept him from touching it? What if she made sure someone was watching him all the time? It all sounded so stupid and ridiculous. Mary was failing her son and she knew it.

And then it came to her. Father Donovan had not said that Michael couldn't masturbate. The act itself was fine - it was the result, and what Michael did with it, that was the problem. Mary simply needed the appropriate receptacle for her son's spend. And wouldn't you know it? She had three of them just waiting for her at home.

*

down the stairs was her oldest daughter. Hope was 21, tall and thin with dark brown hair that

came down next. She was 20 and about medium height with bright blonde hair that ran in rings to her shoulders. She had a broader build, like her father's. Chastity was wearing a light blue sun dress that probably showed a bit

to the middle of her back, she was a bit shorter than Chastity and a bit curvier than Hope. Especially in the

in line for a scholarship to Villanova. And

Michael into the room. At 19, he was tall and muscular, though often clumsy - like a boy trapped in an adult's body. It didn't help that it seemed like he'd outgrown his clothes overnight. Everything was just

thought he was in some kind of trouble. Mary smiled

I've been struggling with how to deal with your

his head behind his muscular arms, "Why are you always

wouldn't have to talk

her younger siblings after their father had died. "It's perfectly natural to want to do things like that. Especially as a young

it." She was the smartest in the family, though also the most innocent. Tabitha spent so much time behind a screen, she often struggled when she stepped out into the real world. "Yeah," Chastity said, "Everybody knows boys have to pet the one-eyed snake once a day or they, like, die." That was Chastity - always teasing. She wasn't mean, but Chastity wasn't

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purpose. Trying to hurt me and the family. But I've come to understand the truth: you

God. Does everyone have to

Donovan made it very clear that you will be damned forever if we don't stop you from spilling your sperm all over the house. And unlike some people, I know that Father Donovan isn't the type to say things just to

Chastity giggled.

an idea for how we can handle Michael's problem, so it doesn't

out laughing. Her face

all going to have

she felt like the family was more likely to listen if she put a bit of priestly guidance behind her thinking. And Father Donovan had given

Donovan reminded me that the problem isn't

"Mooooom," Michael groaned.

he's

"We all want to help Michael out, but shouldn't this be a conversation between you and him? I'm not

ones that have to help

want us to

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