The Two Virgin Friends: EP5

"A whole year with Crystal. I still can't believe it. She was sooo... Her freaking name was Crystal! You deserved so much more than her. That you wasted your time with... agh!" "You've never given this up."

"Well, you keep repeating the process. She was never good enough for you!"

"You shouldn't judge her like that!"

"I'm not judging! I just know you. You were never really happy; you just liked having a girlfriend. You always settle! That's your biggest flaw. You deserved so much more!" "Like who? Who else was I supposed to be dating that was better?"

"See? You can't honestly say she was the girl for you. You couldn't then and you can't now. She was just a nice girl."

"She was my Vee-jay, I guess."

Thuy glared at me, then said, "Yes." Then, "At least I broke up with him. She had to dump you because you are so damn loyal. I think you were happy to escape."

"I haven't seen Crystal in four years. We are talking about us as juniors. Who cares anymore?"

"I just don't think things have changed. I think you will settle again if you don't watch yourself."

"What's wrong with spending time with someone because she's nice?"

"Nothing! But you are the kind of guy who will marry that nice person and then the person you've always wanted will be gone. Out of reach forever. And it'll be your fault."

"Who is this person?! You seem to have someone in mind."

"I don't know, Jake. But you have to find her somehow, some day. And you won't ever, if you give up on her too easily."

"Show this person to me or get off my back! I don't tell you whether or not your boyfriends are good enough for you!"

will spend my life with one of them, screwing everything up, and

lick of sense. "I want you to be happy. I have faith that you will figure it out. You always do. I'm not the right person to help on

said simply, "I don't know either. I don't know why we

"Let's stop then."

I got angry. I like you too much. I just think it would kill me for you to not

Sometimes, I think I know what I want, but then the thought flies away. There's an image trying to form of someone or something. Something obvious. It's just beyond my grasp." Thuy actually gasped. "That's why I broke up with Veejay. The more I was with him, the more I kept

don't know, but... but..." She looked at me and I felt my heart pounding. The thought that I had tried to tell her about was coming into my head again, but she said,

table as we had agreed to years before and headed out. She tossed me her keys, saying, "I'm tired." I

had fallen asleep when she asked, "Jake, why didn't we ever date? Not once. We never even

thoughts were swirling in my head from this evening, and all I could say was,

not what I mean. It's just that all our lives people have wondered this. People have wanted to fix us up a hundred times. My friends ask about you. People at school who've never met you ask me about you. My mother asks me. Hell, your mom has asked me." I didn't say anything and she continued, "I know you think I look OK. If not, you fake it well. I haven't been checked out like you did in the driveway tonight in a long time. Your eyes made my

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"I looked away!"

what I wanted to kiss you more

Kiss me?

still curled in the seat next to me but

think that... I didn't want to risk it." There was

it, then closed her eyes again, but spoke again after a pause. "I took you for granted, I think. It never occurred to me that you wouldn't

always

holding.

carry you

bed. I still am afraid of being alone in

"Are you sure?"

saw a slight smile form on her face. "Jake, you aren't going to take advantage of

home and she was soon asleep. After we got home, I did as she had bid and carried her to my bedroom. After turning on a small light for her, I headed for the door, but she mumbled something like, "trust you" and patted the bed next to

Not the way I was feeling. I stood at the doorway watching her slight movements under the sheets, her chest rise and fall gently. I would never be able to say how she looked that night,

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