Fuck: You Owe Me: 23

"Make this right," Simon said. Chris had so much on his mind, he was barely enjoying driving the steed. "You might want to slow down a little, too," Simon added.

Laura and Becky sat in the back of the car, Laura behind Chris, Becky behind Simon. They were talking and Simon jumped into the conversation every so often. Chris pretended to be focused on driving, but he couldn't concentrate. Though he did manage to see the sideways smiles Becky was sending into the rear view mirror.

"I guess she's happy," Chris heard Laura say. He wondered who they were talking about.

"Very," Simon said. "I don't know how much more I can take." Must be Abby. Becky asked, "When does she leave?"

"August fifteenth or sixteenth or something. Late summer." Leave for where?

"What does AFI stand for?"

"Abby got in?" Chris said. "That's awesome."

Simon looked at him and laughed. "Yeah, baby, welcome to now."

Chris returned his attention to the road, embarrassed. Actually, no, he was frustrated. He loved the car, how it sounded, how it vibrated, how the smell of the leather mixed with the cold smell of winter to inflame every sense, and he wasn't enjoying it tonight. His brain was fluttering around like some stupid little school girl who had just gotten her first kiss at recess. He wanted to enjoy the moment. Enjoy it, Chris. Enjoy the moment.

Enjoy the fucking moment, DAMN YOU!

Up ahead was a cobblestone bridge over a frozen creak. They lived in the suburbs but twenty minutes and the desire to get lost easily led to some of the most picturesque landscapes Chris had scene. Laura routinely exploited this fact with her photography, but there were some things Chris had seen that no picture could capture. One time he'd...

Had he really just compared himself to a school girl?

God, the day had been so long. But it felt so short. Thinking back on dinner, he could remember what had been said, laughing at the title of the play, the looks from Laura, but none of it had any context or meaning to him. They were empty actions. Like he'd watched them, not lived them.

But remembering them brought Laura front and center in his thoughts. Was she pretending or was she really okay now? Had she been okay the whole time? Was he the one overreacting? He'd barely been with her a day; was he already becoming the bitch?

Chris had noticed a disturbing and self-conscious trend with his relationships. He tended not to be the alpha. With little exception, he always ended up more attached, or at least feeling that way. He knew on an academic level that it was stupid to think in these terms, but as he'd said to Simon one night while drinking, "I just want to feel like the guy once in a while."

Of course, there was no way for him to know, but Laura was grooming the exact same thoughts. She was better at socializing though. So while she sat and smiled and nodded and talked with Simon and Becky, she secretly cursed herself and the damn insecurity she felt over the stupid little phone call.

More than that, she was furious at herself for actually being upset with Chris. At least she could be rational and chastise herself for being so lame. Eventually she'd snap out of it. It wasn't his fault he couldn't read her mind. Laura was expecting too much. Laura wanted the movie screen relationship.

She knew it didn't exist except in her mind, and after some of the break-ups she'd endured, she'd been so shaken that she retreated to the fantasy man of her dreams: perfect, strong, clairvoyant, and totally not human. He could complete her sentences in cute little ways that an audience would laugh at, and whenever they looked in each other's eyes, everyone knew they were meant to be. They were the cutest couple imaginable.

She did love Chris. She knew it was fast and completely crazy, but it was still something she trusted.

Simon handed Chris the joint. Chris looked it over - about half done - and took a hit. He held it in and nodded. "Good joint, Beck."

Becky smiled.

"Should you be smoking and driving?" Laura asked.

Simon patted Chris's shoulder. "This guy's been trusted driver for three years now. 381 smoke-outs." Simon said it with pride.

"Thanks, buddy," Chris said. He glanced in the rear view and again saw Becky smiling. Less than a foot to the right, Laura was looking out the window. Neither of them knew about the other. Chris wondered how long that would last.

Originally the plan had been to go back to Chris and Laura's house. But then Simon's parents decided at the last minute to fly to Aruba. The mood had hit them.

Simon's house was hidden back from the road behind some trees. They pulled into the driveway a little after 10:00. It wound through tall evergreens before revealing the palatial abode. It measured four floors including the finished basement, six bedrooms, seven baths, three fireplaces complete with chimneys, a detached garage and a guest house above. It reminded Chris of the Home Alone house.

It had once been a Senator's. Now it belonged to a surgeon, a decorator and their two spoiled children.

"Simon, I love your life," Laura said.

The cool blue of the Maserati's headlights washed over the front of the house, reflecting off the frozen blanket of snow and lighting up the branches above. Simon hit the garage door opener and Chris parked.

thought," Laura said as she got out on Chris's side. She could see her breath but

the car. Her foot caught on the seatbelt and he steadied her as she freed herself. She smiled at him. "Thank

"No sweat," he said.

all over the place tonight. He didn't know what was real

girls skipping off toward the house, laughing and singing something Chris didn't recognize. Chris watched them as Simon ejected his CD from the stereo. "Wanna hit the back deck and smoke that second J?" Simon asked as he closed

"Sure."

"You okay?"

time. He puffed them up then handed one to Chris. The only time they smoked cigarettes was when they smoked pot. Chris took it

"What's going on?"

head as he took a drag. "Later. Not with the girls around." The nicotine rushed through his body and he felt a pleasant burning behind his eyes. Sometimes he thought of his highs like a fuse, and the first drag of the first cigarette was the

staggered momentarily and Simon laughed.

"Liberal."

here they could see the peanut shaped pool and the hot tup at its deep end with waterfalls flowing over. The hot tub was rated for twenty, but it

we were just getting it ready, see?" Laura said. She saw their cigarettes. "Ooh, I want

out the back.

him. He's not

looked at Simon and shrugged. "I'm not her master." He looked back

pack to

out the lighter

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leaving Laura, Chris, and Becky alone on the deck. Laura puffed at her cigarette, grimacing. "If you hate it so

it's cool," she said.

laughed. "Yeah, cancer's so

the Plastics?" They heard music start playing from the deck speakers. Laura asked, "I've heard this

said, returning from the house. "Most recently heard in the film Garden State."

said, handing the joint

as he took it.

his eyes. "What?" Becky asked

"It's a lame movie."

not. It was

know nothing about movies,"

narrowed her eyes. "I bet you liked Napoleon Dynamite,

on to Simon. "That

laughed.

deals with life and forgiveness

you hear yourself?"

don't like it because your

I just

"Don't call me melodramatic."

"I didn't."

just did!" The roach got back to Becky and she took a few quick puffs

it out on the wooden railing. "We should watch it tonight

you are,"

"You're wronger."

"You're stubborn."

laughing.

smiled at his laughter. "I don't care. You're wrong, you're stupid,

funny."

enough for

I've

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