Untouchable by Marii Solaria

“And what if—what are you if the people who are supposed to love you can leave you like you’re nothing?” – Elizabeth Scott

Halima

Cheering and words of encouragement erupted from the yard, echoing through the woodsy air like sirens.

My eyes peeked at the commotion through the kitchen window, squinting from the sun’s glare. It had a full view of the lush-green front yard, allowing me to witness the spectacle with a front-row seat. Pack members of all ages gathered around a blond-haired pubescent boy going through his first shift. His mother comforted him with his head on her lap, while his father coached him through the pain. Little Jordan did nothing to damper the cheery mood but fueled the outpouring of support for him. The love and care radiating from the pack members were palpable, overwhelming my senses to where I could feel the strange sensation around me.

Their love for Jordan choked me, invoking the painful reminder that I would never have what he had.

First shifts were a celebratory event for Zircon Moon. It marked the sacred passage from wolf pup to a full wolf, functioning similarly to when one goes through puberty for the first time. During this time, the pack members gather around the shifting child with love and compassion, passing on their good wishes as they too remembered how dramatic and painful their first shift is. It sheltered the child and strengthened their bond with the pack. Their parents served as guides and the pack members serve as their unyielding support. It was, honestly, the moment each wolf pup looked forward to—knowing that they’re cherished by their community.

The snapping of the young bones filled my ears. I almost flinched at its shrill volume. I watched the boy sprout black fur from his pale flesh and his face morph into that of a wolf’s snout. Just as the shift had started, it ended. Each member came to congratulate the boy on his official entry into Wolfhood with a pat on his head or a caress of his inky black fur. Jordan released a howl in pure delight, and the rest of the members howled along with him, the volume shaking the foundation of the pack house.

Could that have been me? If I hadn’t been damned into a life of pain and servitude, could I have gotten a celebration like that? Could I have felt the love and admiration from the pack and my parents? I shifted alone in my dingy, foul stench prison alone at twelve years old. I had no guide, no comfort, and no support. I had no one to cheer me on through the pain. I didn’t dare to howl, for the guards would’ve beaten me to silence.

“You forget, they don’t consider us a part of this pack.” My wolf spoke through our mind-link. She must have felt my sorrow, as she always did. “But it doesn’t erase us from not getting the support and celebration we deserved. It hurts.”

“It’s whatever,” I replied with sadness, putting away the last dishes. I bore the mark of Zircon Moon on my right shoulder blade, a wolf howling at a crescent moon, but it would be a bitter day in purgatory before I was considered a member. “No use in moping in something that would never happen, Artemis.”

I grabbed my bucket and filled it up with soap and warm water, getting to work on scrubbing the kitchen floor with my nylon brush. My bony knees were red and blistered from the constant work, and my fingers were pruned like raisins. However, I found that the sooner they lose sensation, the easier it was to work, and I was counting on it.

Artemis, my beautiful white wolf, was my only friend and confidant. Friendships were impossible to come by, let alone anyone to have an idle chatter with. Five years ago, I was horrified to see that I had shifted into a white wolf. Werewolf history considers white wolves to be the rarest form of a wolf. There was a one-in-a-million chance anyone would shift white. And yet, I was the one. The lowest scum of the earth was special. I thought I was special.

But Alpha Jonathan made sure I remember there was nothing special about me. I was worthless and disgusting. According to him, being a white wolf did not and would not erase my past sins. He beat both Artemis and me, solidifying my dark thoughts that I was better off dead. I couldn’t walk or kneel for days. His brutality was what I would always fear, for he was the mighty Alpha. I trembled violently at the thought of him towering over me with his fists raised.

By the time the pack members entered the pack house, I had long since finished the kitchen floors. Slipping by unseen, I got to work in the plethora of bathrooms. My b*dy was aching, but the only motivation I had was, the sooner I get this done, the sooner I could be left alone. I was not in the mood to run into any pack members today. But trouble always reared its ugly head to someone like me.

I was mopping the hallways, deep in my thoughts, when I was shoved forward. With nothing to grab onto, I collided into the pristine floor, knees first. Old blisters popped and oozed as I hissed silently in pain.

“I thought I smelled something rancid.” The vile voice rang through the air. I turned around to see Raina, my older sister, with Odessa flanking on her left. Raina, older by two years, towered over me at five feet nine. Her chestnut-brown skin could absorb the sun’s rays for days. Her long black curls bounced with her every movement, and the blue tank top she wore revealed her muscular arms. Her upturned deep brown eyes revealed the dark intentions she had, involuntarily sending shivers down my spine.

Odessa was another beauty, her brunette hair rivaling that of silk. She was the lover of our future Alpha and destined to be the next Luna. Her complexion gave way to her Grecian beauty: olive-toned skin, mesmerizing almond-shaped hazel eyes, and cupid-bow l*ps bound to make any man fall to their knees. She never hid her hatred for me, always punishing me any chance she got.

‘You belong on your knees’ she would say to me.

Raina and Odessa were childhood best friends, just as Nuria and I were. Their mocking smiles and head nods to each other told me what was coming next. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t. How could I? Those two would chase me down and drag me back, kicking and screaming. They were, by far, stronger than me and could tear me apart if they wanted to. My eyes pleaded with Raina to leave me alone.

In one swift motion, Raina grabbed the mop water, circled me, and dumped it over my head. I closed my eyes and allowed the soapy water to splash all over me, drenching my raggedy dress. As usual, I didn’t make a sound. I didn’t cry. I didn’t whimper. I just cast my eyes to the ground and waited for the next part of the torture.

the humans would say? The most

at all to curb the smell.” Raina sneered behind me, her voice dripping with disgust. “She smells like a wet dog. At this rate, the entire pack house would lose their lunch. I know

hair, crunchy and lifeless from many days without a decent wash. She dragged me along the ground, unable to escape the clutches of the brunette who made it her life’s mission to cause me the most hell. My weak struggles did nothing to deter their mission or

faucet turn on in front of me as rapid sprays of water

trembling with fear at what was to come. How could I not be terrified?

full yet? The stench is

I heard the squirting of bottles and the sloshing of water. “Damn, this shit is

feet and then, without warning, tossed me into the scorching hot bathtub. My screams reverberated off the bathroom walls, drowning out demonic laughter. Both girls held me down as long as they could in the scalding water, throwing insults at how filthy I was and how I should be

the day I finally

gruffer voice entered the bathroom, and just like that, Raina and Odessa’s fun sizzled away. Their hands released me for me to crawl out from the bathtub coughing the hot water out of

today!” Odessa complimented with a smile on her

have anything better to do than to bother the

felt like a rock in my chest. It shouldn’t still bother me after all this time, but

void of the earlier disgust, now filled with repulsive sweetness. ‘It’. I was just a thing to them.

clean up itself and the mess in the hallway. Odessa, Neron

“We have plans for his passage to the alpha ceremony that we need to discuss. Meet me

for a moment longer, unable to look me in the eye. I slipped onto the wet

and a door slam were all I

a human, I surely would have died.

Artemis whimpered in

say anything.” I respond, defeated, “Maybe things would be better if I were dead. Death is better

live, for our mate is out there. They’re our only

with my quaking hands. My curly hair, lopsided from the forced chops and weakened curls stuck to my skin, now marred with red with colorful bruises littering my b*dy from head to toe. My cheeks were sunken, the bags under my eyes were heavy, and my l*ps were crusty. My only piece of

reflection was disgusting. I was

kidding? Who would want this ugly thing in the mirror? I dropped to my knees, choking on my gut-wrenching sobs for a good minute. The pain and abandonment of

Goddess, why subject me to this horrible fate? Did you think I deserve such treatment?

Please…

abomination and

a

the Angel.

“No, Mommy…”

could instill hatred in their children. I wouldn’t hurt the little girl. Outside, under the harsh rays of the sun, I was scrubbing the pack members’ clothes with a lone washing board. Functioning washing machines were in the basement, but why use that when the pack could make

to go for a run, but I pushed it down. The last time I went for a run was when I was fourteen, attempting my first and only escape. I was not only dragged back by the border patrols, but the Alpha made an example of me by beating me in front of

It was out of the desire to continue to use me as a pack slave. Today, I was seventeen. As much as I wanted to escape, I couldn’t

I made sure all stains came out of every article. Even a minor stain could land me in a world of trouble. My ears suddenly perked up at the sounds of laughter and muffled conversation. I turned to my side and notice Raina, Odessa, and two other pack members piling into a car to go shopping for the alpha ceremony tomorrow evening. Squinting my eyes, I glimpsed