Untouchable by Marii Solaria

Chapter 16 – The Grief

“Each of us has his own rhythm of suffering“-Roland Barthes

Lyra came over and gently lifted my

Mer fingers wazed at my feeding tube as gentle as a feather, face

contorting into one of pain. “Did this hurt?”

I nodded. “Yeah. But, after a while, it isn’t so bad. Dr. Nava says I might have this in me for a while since I

can’t eat.”

“That must suck.” Jackie cringed, her hand on her forehead in her dramatics. “If I couldn’t have my supply of Lead Omega Cleo’s special buffalo wings, I’d wither away to nothing!”

“Didn’t you just have a plate full of wings last night?”

“Yes. It’s been forever!” She groaned,

Lyra chuckled to herself. “I can’t wait for you to find your mate. Having one might humble you.”

“Well, wherever she is, she’ll just have to deal with the fact that I’m a dramatic bit–err, gal.” I tick my head to the side, my eyes questioning her. “I’m a lesbian.”

“Ah.”

“If there was anyone you would want to have at your side, it’s Jacqueline,” Lyra explained to me. It fed Jackie’s ego because her smile grew wider if that was even possible. “In fact, once you’re well enough, she’ll give you a

tour of our land.”

“Please. You won’t admit that I’m the best tour guide ever. The kids love me!”

“Most of them do, anyway.” Lyra took my hands into hers. “Besides our resident energetic wolf-”

“I prefer, ‘resident weirdo.“”

rolled her eyes playfully. “How are you feeling?”

so bad. At least the liquid food and water stayed in my stomach this time. But I’m still in pain.” My hand reached to the back of my head where my wound was. Pain pulsated like a dull throb, the lesion ever so present. I then turned to Jackie with a gentle smile, exposing

you.

to me.

to meet you too!” Jacqueline leaned in to hug but I cringed and jumped away from her, shuffling to the

yet. You did nothing wrong… I promise.”

reassuring. “I apologize for being too forward. I want you to be comfortable, so let me know if I’m pushing your boundaries.”

expected her to be offended, but she took what I said with grace. It’s true, I didn’t want to be touched by anyone. Lyra made me feel safe and secure, which was why I didn’t flinch away from her touches, Jackie had an overall amazing vibe and vibrant personality, but I still don’t trust

Chapter

where I trust her. Jackie had shown me more kindness and excitementtin five minutes than anyone else has in years. My hund unconsciously went to my hair again and I cringed at th heavy matting I feel under my fingers. Jackie stand

want me to help with

want to help?”

danced in her seat with madliant happiness. “Our hair is our crown, and we must treat it like royalty, Judging by your curls, they are a little doser than my tight ones. Type 4A hair from the looks of it. M mom, the Beta Female, could help too the knows all about hair, and I have a couple of products from our store that could get rid of

to offer support. “Violet is very knowledgeable about hair and

mischievously and cackled, only to earn a smack on the back of the head

to cherry candy. I had no one to touch my hair besides Nurse Mei, so I was incredibly nervous. But both Wales and Jacqueline made my experience comforting without effort. Detangling my hair was a challenging dear because my hair hadn’t had a decent wash in years. They lathered my hair with oils and creams and comited through all the loose and tight tangles careful to not yank my hair. Their hands were gentle against my win, taking great care to not irritate the wound on my

There was a growing pile of hair next to my legs of shedded and damaged hair that had fallen out because of past mughness, but I didn’t mind. Each strand of hair that was pulled out of my tangles took

into my scalp. “Your hair is a little lopsided, weirdly

old pack liked to hack at my hair whenever they felt like it,” explained in asty whisper, memories of Raima, Odessa,

didn’t your Mom stop

mother- daughter duo to continue working on my hair in my

waghught qui to my heart and chest. Deep underneath all the pain she caused; the memories of her loving touches did not fade. I still remember how tender she used to be, her sweet scent of jasmine and cherries, and her amilles thuil of love and care. I was her baby girl and I loved her. I really did.

And yet, that hurt the most because I no longer held love for my mother. It

out for my mother and for what my mother used to be. The inner child that I thought died came out at full force, screaming and wailing for

for what my family

the parents who had dedicated their lives to protect and love me. They no longer loved me, and they showed it every time they discarded me like trash. They tore my heart out and danced all over it. Raina was and always would be the most important person to them. They cultivated her to be the best Beta Female, while simultaneously tossing me into the hounds. They took the word of their tyrannical Alpha over their baby

around Lyra with all the strength I could muster, silently begging to know why my family turned their backs on me. Her hands rubbed. smooth circles around my back, and soon, Violet and Jackie engulfed me in their arms. I was dead center in the middle of a group hug, fully aware that the entire hospital could hear my pain–laced cries.

my family festered in my heart, fueled by my sadness and anger. They taught me one

hurts the

Nurse Mei redressed my head wound with clean gauze, discarding the bloody one into a hazardous waste bin. Dr. Nava was inserting my lunch down the feeding tube along with water through a series of medical syringes. My stomach rose at the food, now a tiny inflated balloon. It

bit uncomfortable.

lungs still hurt from my unexpected crying fit. “I’m sorry, I

over me…