Untouchable by Marii Solaria

Chapter 21 The Decisions

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“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.“–Roy T. Bennett

Halima

I’m now laying in my bed, looking up at the ceiling. Nightfall had made its appearance, immersing the territory in darkness. Up above, the half–moon and its twinkling stars serve as our only illumination. The distant chatter of wolves and their late–night rendezvous echoed in my eardrums, but I didn’t pay attention to it. My mind’s stuck on my therapy session today with Mayra.

1 spilled everything from my fears to my desires. It took me two months to get used to speaking to a stranger due to fear and judgment. But Mayra had been nothing but open and warm, allowing me to gradually come out of my shell. Just like the others, she, too, recommended that I make my decision on whether to attend the ceremony. That’s the power I have over the situation, and no one would judge me for it. The entire time, she reassured me I was not a walking disaster warning, if anything goes astray, I shouldn’t take the blame for it.

I roll on my side, resting my arm under my pillow. Why was this so hard? It feels like two strings were pulling me, one to the light and the other to darkness. Sometimes, the pull into the darkness was stronger. It was seductive, cloaking me in a blanket, leading me to believe I was better off dead. But in others, the light was stronger. The light was warm, but also foreign. It was something I’ve never felt before, and it was scary–but now I have people around me pushing me forward to heal.

But It’s a battle where I feel unequipped to fight.

“Are you going to go to the ceremony?” Artemis spoke through our mind–link. It was always nice to hear her voice, she helped to fight the demons in my mind since we’re both in this together.

“I want to,” I answer back, shutting my eyes to envision my beautiful wolf. Big and majestic as ever, I needed to let her out once I’m okay, “I’m scared. My mind is coming up with all these scenarios that could go wrong if I show up.”

“I know. I can see them, and they aren’t pretty.” Artemis trotted closer to me, sitting on her hind end. “I, too, wish things were easier. But, just as Mayra said, we’re dealing with many traumatic experiences, so our brain is wired differently. We expect the worst in everything and hide, hoping things go right.”

strong. Artemis. I’m so sick and tired of being weak and scared of

fault. But what is our responsibility is when and how we get

little, feeling the weight of Artemis’s words. “Since when did you become such

few things during your sessions.” Artemis shrugged. “It’s a process, Halima. Taking back the power that has been

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was there. I rather–no, want to live in the light. Not sust that, I want to live here. I want to stay in this pack, they welcomed me, took care of

to be a part of something that brought in a broken girl and nursed ber

made my decision, or rather, decisions.

I send a text to Lyria. This was my first cell phone, and it had

tomorrow? I want to

couple of styles in mind that

see you then. Goodnight

into my cherry red nightgown. Shutting off the lights, it bathes my room in comfortable darkness. Crawling underneath the covers, I fall into a deep sleep, dreamless for the first time

you correctly? You want to join the pack?”

was a normal morning when Halima entered my office. There was a small smile on her face, and she looked bealthier than I’d

noticed she no longer had the feeding tube. I feel relieved, it was all in the progress of her recovering.

to request for it without jeopardizing her safety. I

expect it to be so soon. I

my desk. “You will go through a bonding ritual that ties you to

eyes widened in fear. “H–How would I get

as you think it is. I’ve done

She answered with an anxious laugh, running her hand through her tight curls. “Um. When