Untouchable by Marii Solaria

Chapter 36 – The Longing

“The Irony of the human heart is that it’s tormented both by the presence and absence of its own soul’s counterpart.“– Crystal Woods

“I doubt it.” My dad shook his head. “Honestly, I’d prefer it that way. Another wolf carrying your mother’s scent would make Angelo and I go crazy.”

He stood on his feet, walking towards the fireplace ledge that held our family picture frames. His hands take one of my mother on their wedding day, cloaked in white with a smile as pure as gold. “The mind is a powerful force, Neron. It governs everything in our bodies. Without it, we’re nothing. It could empower us and ruin us at the same time. It could take us to the highest of pleasures or the lowest depths of our misery.”

His thumb runs over the picture of Mom, his blue eyes misting. “Thirteen years. It’s been thirteen years since she joined with the Moon Goddess, and I miss her terribly. I miss my baby girl, too. Her smile and laughter were the best medicine for an awful day. I always wonder what she could have been if she lived this long. She would have made a powerful Alpha, courageous in her own right.”

“Some days, I smell their scents. Before I sleep or when I awake. It is worse when I was in the depths of my alcoholism. When you miss someone too much, the mind likes to trick you to believe that your loved one is still there. It has been in pain for so long that it tries to ease the burden in ways it thinks it should when only it makes the agony worse. I would think my Celeste was just around the corner or in the kitchen, but when I approached, there is nothing. It is one painful reminder after another that I no longer have my beloved or my angel.”

He smiled, deep sadness reflecting in his old face. “Sometimes I hear your mother’s laughter, or Nuria calling out for me to read her a bedtime story. Either your old man is going crazy, or my mind has been in pain for so long it wants to get out.”

I say nothing. What am I supposed to say? He missed Mom and Nuria just as much as I did. Humans say that time heals all wounds, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. There were days where I spot Dad at their graves, reading Nuria her favorite stories, or chatting with Mom. That is his mate–the other half to his soul. That pain never goes away.

I knew exactly how he was feeling. And I wish I never did.

“I smelled her, Dad.” I feel his eyes on me, but I don’t dare to look up. “At the Garnet Moon territory a few days ago. I wanted to chase after it, to see her again, but…I couldn’t.”

“You’re speaking about Halima, aren’t you?”

I nod. Onyx is certain that Halima is alive, despite all evidence proving otherwise. I want to have that same level of assurance, but, how could I? Was her ghost tormenting me? Everything I’ve seen and heard proves

that my mate is no more.

But why do I have this feeling that she was alive? That she was okay? Why do I still feel the broken bond when I couldn’t feel the person on the other side?

A hand gently grips my shoulder, thumb rubbing circles in the back. My father sat back down next to me, our coffee mugs now cold. I sigh in frustration, my head in my hands.

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Chapter 36 The Longing.

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to let her go.” My father whispered. “Letting go of your mother and Nuria is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I miss them terribly, but my heart is at peace knowing

Do the same.”

threatening to

the grace of our beloved goddess, there could be a chance

and I f*cked everything up! I hated her for the longest and now that she’s gone, my

what my brother did, and no amount of repentance could

watched her bleeding and crying on the floor.” I shake my head. “And the Moon Goddess would never grant me a second

hawk, watching

do? What would you tell

But that future is gone. Pain wracked my body from head to toe. threatening to burst from my chest. Could Onyx feel this pain too? I didn’t just ruin our friendship, but I took away his wolf mate without giving him a chance to know who she was. I’ve never seen Halima shift, despite knowing she had. “That I would spend the

bro.” Valerian’s voice rang in my head. “Odessa and

grown–up women, they can

seconds away from strangling them both, and I don’t

his modest home back to the packhouse. The passing thoughts of my mate continue to

needed to take my mind off the brown

Kiya

Birria tacos are amazing.

heaven. Who invented this wonderful

– The

medal!

veggies, and

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Bonu

05:00

help it. Isn’t it obvious how hungry I am?

down a bit.” I heard Mom say. I quirked an eyebrow, my eyes on

muffled, still stuffing my face

arms. “At least leave some for your old man, damn! And don’t talk with your

empty plates. Several empty plates, and empty cups that were once filled with soup littering the coffee table. Embarrassed,

delightful chills down my spine. I was my parents‘ little Moonbeam. Mom planted a soft k*ss on my forehead before handing me a napkin to wipe my mouth. “You never eat this much unless

anxiety. My favorite coping mechanism. I couldn’t help it, food made me feel better. It made me feel good and it helps me forget my troubles. Plus, my stomach was a bottomless pit. Tossing the dirty napkin down

me and a couple of others to their territory to train their soldiers for the next few months,” I revealed. “I don’t

that hurt me.”

“I see why you’re so nervous. But Mija, this could be a wonderful

“To what? Implode?”

“To face your past.”

Mom took a seat on the other side of me. “Kiya, you are much stronger now than you were before. You worked hard to get where you’re at and you should be proud. However, do you think it’s

catching my interest. So shiny. “I know. I know I’ll be safe from death since they have exonerated me, but…” Mom and Dad knew about my talk with Gamma Kwame, I told