Chapter 36 – The Longing

“The Irony of the human heart is that it’s tormented both by the presence and absence of its own soul’s counterpart.“– Crystal Woods

“I doubt it.” My dad shook his head. “Honestly, I’d prefer it that way. Another wolf carrying your mother’s scent would make Angelo and I go crazy.”

He stood on his feet, walking towards the fireplace ledge that held our family picture frames. His hands take one of my mother on their wedding day, cloaked in white with a smile as pure as gold. “The mind is a powerful force, Neron. It governs everything in our bodies. Without it, we’re nothing. It could empower us and ruin us at the same time. It could take us to the highest of pleasures or the lowest depths of our misery.”

His thumb runs over the picture of Mom, his blue eyes misting. “Thirteen years. It’s been thirteen years since she joined with the Moon Goddess, and I miss her terribly. I miss my baby girl, too. Her smile and laughter were the best medicine for an awful day. I always wonder what she could have been if she lived this long. She would have made a powerful Alpha, courageous in her own right.”

“Some days, I smell their scents. Before I sleep or when I awake. It is worse when I was in the depths of my alcoholism. When you miss someone too much, the mind likes to trick you to believe that your loved one is still there. It has been in pain for so long that it tries to ease the burden in ways it thinks it should when only it makes the agony worse. I would think my Celeste was just around the corner or in the kitchen, but when I approached, there is nothing. It is one painful reminder after another that I no longer have my beloved or my angel.”

He smiled, deep sadness reflecting in his old face. “Sometimes I hear your mother’s laughter, or Nuria calling out for me to read her a bedtime story. Either your old man is going crazy, or my mind has been in pain for so long it wants to get out.”

I say nothing. What am I supposed to say? He missed Mom and Nuria just as much as I did. Humans say that time heals all wounds, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. There were days where I spot Dad at their graves, reading Nuria her favorite stories, or chatting with Mom. That is his mate–the other half to his soul. That pain never goes away.

I knew exactly how he was feeling. And I wish I never did.

“I smelled her, Dad.” I feel his eyes on me, but I don’t dare to look up. “At the Garnet Moon territory a few days ago. I wanted to chase after it, to see her again, but…I couldn’t.”

“You’re speaking about Halima, aren’t you?”

I nod. Onyx is certain that Halima is alive, despite all evidence proving otherwise. I want to have that same level of assurance, but, how could I? Was her ghost tormenting me? Everything I’ve seen and heard proves

that my mate is no more.

But why do I have this feeling that she was alive? That she was okay? Why do I still feel the broken bond when I couldn’t feel the person on the other side?

A hand gently grips my shoulder, thumb rubbing circles in the back. My father sat back down next to me, our coffee mugs now cold. I sigh in frustration, my head in my hands.

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Chapter 36 The Longing.

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go of your mother and Nuria is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I miss them terribly, but my heart is at peace knowing they are happy with our Moon

Do the same.”

my teeth, tears threatening to fall down my face. “I

grace of our beloved goddess, there could be a chance that you

guilty? For what we’ve done to her? We brutalized her for years and I f*cked everything up! I hated her for the longest and now that she’s gone, my heart burns at the thought

brother did, and no amount of repentance could ever amount to

my hands on her. Every time I watched her bleeding and crying on the floor.” I shake my

His gaze was like a hawk,

do? What would you tell

our friendship, but I took away his wolf mate without giving him a chance to know who she was. I’ve never seen Halima shift,

my

grown–up women, they can handle themselves.” I shot

when it’s bothering Adonis and his nap. Raina is three seconds away from

Dad. I’ll talk with you later.” Without looking back, I left his modest home back to the packhouse. The passing thoughts of my mate continue to burn a hole in my chest, dripping acid to incinerate every barrier I put

for this fight because I needed to take my mind off the brown eyes that

Kiya

Birria tacos are amazing.

ascended in heaven. Who invented

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medal!

tender meat, veggies, and cheese

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05:00

I couldn’t help it. Isn’t it obvious how hungry I am? The consommé soup with the tacos

I heard Mom say. I quirked an eyebrow, my eyes on her and ch*eks. filled

muffled, still stuffing

ten of the tacos already!” My dad bellowed from the couch, crossing his arms. “At least leave some for your old man, damn! And don’t talk

were once filled with soup littering the coffee table. Embarrassed, I swallowed what is in my mouth, burping.

is something on your mind.” The nickname never fails to send delightful chills down my spine. I was my parents‘ little Moonbeam. Mom planted a soft k*ss on my forehead before handing me a napkin to wipe my mouth.

inkling of anxiety. My favorite coping mechanism. I couldn’t help it, food made me feel better. It made me feel good and it helps me forget my troubles.

couple of others to their territory to train their soldiers for the next few months,” I

that hurt me.”

handing me bottled water. “I see why you’re so nervous. But Mija, this could be a wonderful opportunity

“To what? Implode?”

“To face your past.”

a seat on the other side of me. “Kiya, you are much stronger now than you were before. You worked hard to

since they have exonerated me, but…” Mom and Dad knew about my talk with Gamma

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