Untouchable by Marii Solaria

Chapter 36 – The Longing

“The Irony of the human heart is that it’s tormented both by the presence and absence of its own soul’s counterpart.“– Crystal Woods

“I doubt it.” My dad shook his head. “Honestly, I’d prefer it that way. Another wolf carrying your mother’s scent would make Angelo and I go crazy.”

He stood on his feet, walking towards the fireplace ledge that held our family picture frames. His hands take one of my mother on their wedding day, cloaked in white with a smile as pure as gold. “The mind is a powerful force, Neron. It governs everything in our bodies. Without it, we’re nothing. It could empower us and ruin us at the same time. It could take us to the highest of pleasures or the lowest depths of our misery.”

His thumb runs over the picture of Mom, his blue eyes misting. “Thirteen years. It’s been thirteen years since she joined with the Moon Goddess, and I miss her terribly. I miss my baby girl, too. Her smile and laughter were the best medicine for an awful day. I always wonder what she could have been if she lived this long. She would have made a powerful Alpha, courageous in her own right.”

“Some days, I smell their scents. Before I sleep or when I awake. It is worse when I was in the depths of my alcoholism. When you miss someone too much, the mind likes to trick you to believe that your loved one is still there. It has been in pain for so long that it tries to ease the burden in ways it thinks it should when only it makes the agony worse. I would think my Celeste was just around the corner or in the kitchen, but when I approached, there is nothing. It is one painful reminder after another that I no longer have my beloved or my angel.”

He smiled, deep sadness reflecting in his old face. “Sometimes I hear your mother’s laughter, or Nuria calling out for me to read her a bedtime story. Either your old man is going crazy, or my mind has been in pain for so long it wants to get out.”

I say nothing. What am I supposed to say? He missed Mom and Nuria just as much as I did. Humans say that time heals all wounds, but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. There were days where I spot Dad at their graves, reading Nuria her favorite stories, or chatting with Mom. That is his mate–the other half to his soul. That pain never goes away.

I knew exactly how he was feeling. And I wish I never did.

“I smelled her, Dad.” I feel his eyes on me, but I don’t dare to look up. “At the Garnet Moon territory a few days ago. I wanted to chase after it, to see her again, but…I couldn’t.”

“You’re speaking about Halima, aren’t you?”

I nod. Onyx is certain that Halima is alive, despite all evidence proving otherwise. I want to have that same level of assurance, but, how could I? Was her ghost tormenting me? Everything I’ve seen and heard proves

that my mate is no more.

But why do I have this feeling that she was alive? That she was okay? Why do I still feel the broken bond when I couldn’t feel the person on the other side?

A hand gently grips my shoulder, thumb rubbing circles in the back. My father sat back down next to me, our coffee mugs now cold. I sigh in frustration, my head in my hands.

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Chapter 36 The Longing.

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of your mother and Nuria is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I miss them terribly, but my heart is at peace knowing they

Do the same.”

my teeth, tears threatening to fall down my face. “I can’t let Halima

back. By the grace of our beloved goddess, there could

you ever feel guilty? For what we’ve done to her? We brutalized her for years and I f*cked everything

feel guilty, Neron.” My dad retorted with a heavy sigh. “Every single day. She was a special girl and I destroyed my best friend’s youngest daughter over what my brother did, and no amount of repentance could ever amount to the

watched her bleeding and crying on the floor.” I shake my head. “And the Moon Goddess would never grant me

this, son.” His gaze was like a hawk, watching for faulting movements. “If Halima is still alive,

What

but I took away his wolf mate without giving him a chance to know who she was. I’ve

bro.” Valerian’s voice rang in my head. “Odessa and Cassandra

grown–up women, they can handle

seconds away from strangling

to my feet. “I have to go, Dad. I’ll talk with you later.” Without looking back, I left his modest home back to the packhouse.

fight because I needed to take my mind off the brown eyes that

Kiya

Birria tacos are amazing.

and my taste buds ascended in heaven. Who invented this wonderful

– The

medal!

flavors, tender meat, veggies, and cheese is better than sex,

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Bonu

05:00

one after another. I couldn’t help it. Isn’t it obvious how hungry I am? The consommé soup with

think you should slow down a bit.” I heard Mom say. I quirked an eyebrow, my eyes on her

stuffing my face

from the couch, crossing his arms. “At least leave some for your old man,

the empty plates. Several empty plates, and empty cups that were once filled with soup littering the coffee table. Embarrassed, I swallowed what is in my

was my parents‘ little Moonbeam. Mom planted a

right. I could eat out the entire kitchen if I felt an inkling of anxiety. My favorite coping mechanism. I couldn’t help it, food made me feel better. It made me feel good and it helps me forget

to their territory to train

that hurt me.”

handing me bottled water. “I see why

“To what? Implode?”

“To face your past.”

a seat on the other side of me. “Kiya, you are much stronger now than you were before. You worked hard to get where you’re at and you should be proud. However, do you think it’s

since they