Chapter 35 – Honeybee

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“Every loss, every mistake, was seared into her soul, creating a different kind of tattoo, one made from rage and abandonment, heart break and tears.“– Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

Ashley

“If you want her back, you need to talk to her.”

“I know.”

“How long are you going to procrastinate? You can sit on your ass and reminisce through baby pictures all day, but the fact remains that you’re too damn scared to face your daughter!”

Ugh! Sometimes, I wish I can shut Delilah up, but I know I can’t. My wolf never hesitates to speak the truth. Plastic sings with every page turn with transparent pockets displaying three neat columns and three rows of photographic memories. Each picture summons long–lost emotions of the past; happy memories where each day didn’t end without a smile. Memories of my two daughters when they were young and blithe bubbled happiness within me but couldn’t place a smile on my face.

It’s easier to hide in what used to be than to confront what is now.

Halima. A name I wouldn’t dare utter again. A name meaning of patience and generosity carried with it my failures. The name my youngest daughter abandoned for another to separate herself from her father, her

sister, and me.

Yes, I’m a failure. I’m a failure as a mother.

Another picture, another smile. My youngest had the biggest and purest of smiles, even when she was born. Toothless, but held uncontained joy to enter a world in the arms of her mother. She was a special one. Jonathan, present at her birth, knew as well because Halima was born with the most striking and vibrant blue eyes–bluer than authentic sapphires. After a week, they faded to her beautiful brown.

Halima was a very energetic girl. Where did she get her energy from? Half of the time, it was from sugar. Other times, I wouldn’t know. She was always buzzing around like a honeybee.

My little Honeybee.

The world got colder when she lost that smile. When Celeste and Nuria died, the speed at which Halima went from beloved to hated was awful. Grief thickened around Zircon Moon faster than flour to butter, and the blame was quickly put on her–the last person to see both of them alive.

Yes, I lost my best friend and my baby girl that day.

But I’m a coward. I always have been, and I proved it when I abandoned my child to deflect from the fear of being reprimanded by Alpha Jonathan. A powerful man lost two people important to him and in his rage declared my baby girl a criminal.

My love as a mother should’ve shown that day, I should’ve looked in Halima’s eyes and tell her I wouldn’t leave her. That I’ll love her forever as I promised every night before she slept. I promised her so many things a nine–year–old believed in a heartbeat.

Instead, I turn my back on her. Was it from fear of Jonathan’s wrath, or was I too weak to protect my

daughter?

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my child wasn’t worth living comfortably in this pack. Nothing warrants a mother abandoning their child–but I took the loser way out and did

know, she’ll never forgive me. Her heart has hardened over the

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following behind her. Her eyes are cold, her scowl Is deep, and the power she radiates made Delilals whimper in fear. Apathy. Even as

wants to kill us for abandoning her. We turned a blind eye and allowed her to be treated as a slave. We left her to be raped by a monster and mistreated to the point of suicide.

That’s unforgivable.

here, Raina,” Hallma tells her, Raina blinks

to talk about.”

“Kiya, please…”

picked for herself. She rolls her eyes before glaring at both Steven and me with unbridled hatred. “What

“We..

And there is no excuse for our

“You both pretended that I didn’t exist while you primed and pampered

forgiveness? Out of the

for

  1. me. I

broke n didn’t sleep for two days. Why should 17 Her hatred towards us is well–deserved and I

know that won’t work, Ash,” Delflah spoke gravely. “I want Kiya back too. I want Artemis back; my precious pup. However, I failed

aren’t. You told me countless times to rescue our daughter, but I ignored you. I stopped you from taking over. I turned the other check. It’s my fault, Lilah.”

partially

“No, you’re not.”

the one up off the table as Raina retreated to the corner near the windows. Flipping through the pages harshly, I watched anger morph

Chapter 35 Honeybee

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Venom dripped with every syllable. “Her eighth–grade graduation; full of smiles and accomplishment. Then, her first homecoming dance–the freedom to go out and dance all night01:29 Slowly, it crept into

from her cheeks. “But, it’s fine. It’s supposed

slave,” Steven whispers painfully. I can tell he’s struggling as much as I

a slave that day? Because I remember Jonathan wanting to kill me.” She chuckles darkly. “Who stepped in and said I’d be of better use scrubbing the

ate him alive. Tears etched at the corner of his eyes, threatening to spill

Kiya scoffed. “I

esot

me into an indentured servant was the better

tears before they fell. “I wanted you alive and…there was no other option. I know it’s stupid and unethical reasoning, but Jonathan was beating you black and blue! You could’ve died in front of our eyes!

important to you? Did your duty to that bastard trump the safety of the

her words beats to the rhythm of our pathetic hearts, reminding us we’re a terrible family. We got our daughter, but she wasn’t our daughter. She was nothing, and we didn’t do a

beating her. Yet, I pretended not to see her. Strangely, as she was being thrown around like trash, Jonathan rewarded us for our loyalty. As Betas, we had the prestige from our rank, and it bettered our lives. We were so full of ourselves that as the rewards came; they clouded our

cur. Her name was like acid we didn’t dare to

she abandoned

something so horrible that it made

My baby girl suffered so much, and I can’t do anything to take it away. Even now, as a beautiful woman, she continues to suffer. How can I stop it? How can I get her

hasn’t

– Honeyben

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tearfully responded, shutting my eyes. I’m pathetic. So pathetic! “It’s our fault! We

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