Chapter 35 – Honeybee

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“Every loss, every mistake, was seared into her soul, creating a different kind of tattoo, one made from rage and abandonment, heart break and tears.“– Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl

Ashley

“If you want her back, you need to talk to her.”

“I know.”

“How long are you going to procrastinate? You can sit on your ass and reminisce through baby pictures all day, but the fact remains that you’re too damn scared to face your daughter!”

Ugh! Sometimes, I wish I can shut Delilah up, but I know I can’t. My wolf never hesitates to speak the truth. Plastic sings with every page turn with transparent pockets displaying three neat columns and three rows of photographic memories. Each picture summons long–lost emotions of the past; happy memories where each day didn’t end without a smile. Memories of my two daughters when they were young and blithe bubbled happiness within me but couldn’t place a smile on my face.

It’s easier to hide in what used to be than to confront what is now.

Halima. A name I wouldn’t dare utter again. A name meaning of patience and generosity carried with it my failures. The name my youngest daughter abandoned for another to separate herself from her father, her

sister, and me.

Yes, I’m a failure. I’m a failure as a mother.

Another picture, another smile. My youngest had the biggest and purest of smiles, even when she was born. Toothless, but held uncontained joy to enter a world in the arms of her mother. She was a special one. Jonathan, present at her birth, knew as well because Halima was born with the most striking and vibrant blue eyes–bluer than authentic sapphires. After a week, they faded to her beautiful brown.

Halima was a very energetic girl. Where did she get her energy from? Half of the time, it was from sugar. Other times, I wouldn’t know. She was always buzzing around like a honeybee.

My little Honeybee.

The world got colder when she lost that smile. When Celeste and Nuria died, the speed at which Halima went from beloved to hated was awful. Grief thickened around Zircon Moon faster than flour to butter, and the blame was quickly put on her–the last person to see both of them alive.

Yes, I lost my best friend and my baby girl that day.

But I’m a coward. I always have been, and I proved it when I abandoned my child to deflect from the fear of being reprimanded by Alpha Jonathan. A powerful man lost two people important to him and in his rage declared my baby girl a criminal.

My love as a mother should’ve shown that day, I should’ve looked in Halima’s eyes and tell her I wouldn’t leave her. That I’ll love her forever as I promised every night before she slept. I promised her so many things a nine–year–old believed in a heartbeat.

Instead, I turn my back on her. Was it from fear of Jonathan’s wrath, or was I too weak to protect my

daughter?

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warrants a mother abandoning their child–but I took the loser way out

for my incompetency and cowardice. But, I know, she’ll never forgive me. Her heart has hardened over the years and

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see it as she enters the common room with Raina following behind her. Her eyes are cold, her scowl Is deep, and

chalned up against that tree, it would be her father and me. She could kill us. I know she wants to kill us for abandoning her. We turned a blind eye and allowed her to be treated as a slave. We left her to be raped by a monster and

That’s unforgivable.

you brought me here, Raina,” Hallma tells her, Raina blinks back her tears. “There isn’t

to talk about.”

“Kiya, please…”

eyes before glaring at both Steven and me with unbridled hatred. “What the f*ck do you both want to

“We..

squeezing my hand. “We know you’ll never forgive us, Kiya. And there is no excuse for our actions against you during your stay and…the past. We abandoned

you primed and pampered Raina as your only child. And now, after hearing that I was raped, you want to

of

for

  1. me. I

snake with its prey. The revelation about what happened to her broke n didn’t sleep for two days. Why should 17 Her

precious pup. However, I

You told me countless times to rescue our daughter, but I ignored you. I stopped you from taking over. I turned the other check.

still partially

“No, you’re not.”

large photo albums around us. One on the table and the other in my lap. I watched Kiya plck. the one up off the table as Raina retreated to the corner near the windows. Flipping through the pages harshly, I watched anger morph

Chapter 35 Honeybee

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full of smiles and accomplishment. Then, her first homecoming dance–the freedom to go out and dance all night01:29 Slowly, it crept into prom, high–school graduation, engagement, wedding–all the f*cking events just handed to her on a silver platter. I could’ve had all

mine stopped.” My eyes dart over to Raina, who was wiping tears from her cheeks. “But, it’s fine.

I can tell

me, Steven. Who suggested I be made a slave that day? Because I remember Jonathan wanting to kill me.” She chuckles darkly. “Who stepped in and said I’d be of better

hand harder, sucking in a sharp breath as the guilt ate him alive. Tears etched at the corner of his eyes, threatening to spill over

Steven admitted. The air tensed as Kiya scoffed. “I didn’t want him to

esot

me into an indentured

husband quickly wiped his tears before they fell. “I wanted you alive and…there was no other option. I know it’s stupid and unethical reasoning, but Jonathan was beating you black and blue! You could’ve

to you? Did your duty to that bastard trump the safety of the child you swore to protect? Yes,

pathetic hearts, reminding us we’re a terrible family. We got our daughter, but she wasn’t our daughter. She was nothing, and we didn’t do a damn thing to

To stop Raina and others from beating her. Yet, I pretended not to see her. Strangely, as she was being thrown around like trash, Jonathan rewarded us for our loyalty. As Betas, we

Slave. Mutt. Runt. Bitch. Useless cur. Her name was like acid we didn’t dare to

wonder she

do something so horrible that it made you stop loving me? Was Jonathan’s pain more important than mine? I expected Mommy and Daddy to come and hug me, but they never came.”

now, as a beautiful woman, she continues to suffer.

room for forgiveness in her heart. She hasn’t forgiven Raina, or Neron, or anyone else. What makes

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so sorry.” I tearfully responded, shutting my eyes. I’m

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