When Her "Death" Couldn't Break Him (Cecilia and Nathaniel)

Chapter 18

Richard's POV.

It had been two weeks since I got engaged to Susan, and she was on top of the world.

Everywhere we went, she flashed the ring, her smile wide and bright. At home, she took charge of everything. "We need new curtains," she said one day. The next, it was, "Let's change the dining table. It's too old-fashioned." She wanted to make the house feel 'new,' like a fresh start.

I didn't care much. She could change whatever she wanted. It was her home too now.

But as the days passed, doubts started creeping in, like shadows I couldn't quite shake off.

I remembered what Martins had said. He had looked me in the eyes and asked, 'Are you sure you're happy?'

At the time, I brushed it off. What did he know? I knew what I wanted. I wanted Susan.

I wanted the thrill and the spark, not the dullness I had with...

I paused, trying not to let my mind finish the thought. But it was there.

Sarah.

For all the things I didn't feel for her, she put effort into our marriage. She planned everything-events, dinners, even simple things like managing our household.

She was always involved, making sure everything ran smoothly. There was a structure, a routine that I relied on without even knowing it.

Now, with her gone, things felt... chaotic. I couldn't find my shoes half the time because they weren't where they used to be.

My schedule was a mess because Susan kept filling it with things I didn't even know about until the last minute.

"Richard, have you seen the paint samples?" Susan's voice cut through my thoughts.

She walked into the room, holding a fan of colors. "I'm thinking we should repaint the living room. Make it feel more 'us'. What do you think? Blue, beige, maybe a soft green?" I stared at the colors in her hand, feeling strangely lost. "I don't know, Susan. You pick."

She frowned slightly. "I want us to decide together. It's our home now."

sound enthusiastic. "Just... pick

out." She turned and left the room, already talking to herself about rugs and lamps and God knows

sit. It was gone now, replaced by some modern art piece

even with the new decoration.

I even thinking

Martin's voice in the back of my mind again. "Are

am," I muttered under my breath, trying to convince myself. I made

Susan, not Sarah. Never

why did it feel like something

with Susan was exactly what I had always wanted. She was independent,

didn't need my constant attention,

used to think that was perfect. With Susan,

days went on, I found myself noticing the small things. Like when

phone or whatever she was doing. "Kate would

wasn't a big deal. I didn't expect her

She'd see the look on my face and say, "Tough day?" Even though,

there was a warm meal, maybe even something

it, but it was

thought I needed that. Now, I wasn't

evening, I came back from the office, my head pounding. I had spent hours in meetings, and all I wanted was to sit in

walked into the living room. Susan was sitting on the couch, scrolling through her tablet. "Hey," I said, collapsing

that. Anyway, I was thinking we should redecorate the guest room this weekend. Maybe add a little color." I blinked, trying to keep up. "Uh, sure. Whatever

she said, already back to her

back, closing my eyes for a moment. I remembered how Sarah

in my voice, and the tired look in my eyes. She wouldn't have pushed on with her

talk about it or just sit with me quietly. And

listening?" Susan's voice snapped me

eyes to see her staring

something bold? You're the one who has to look at it too,

is fine," I

huffed, clearly not satisfied with my answer, but she let it go. I watched her for a moment, trying to find the comfort I used