Chapter 30

Harper

It’s like the Easton Twilight zone. He shoves me away, pulls me close, he kisses me with the same mouth that curses me. I don’t think he even knows what he wants, but it’s addicting and stupid the way he kisses like I’m forever when I’m not even a right now.

This time he doesn’t take my shirt off, he just shoves it up while his mouth devours mine, his lips and tongue moving at a pace that drives me insane, I can’t digest what’s even happening because it’s happening so fast.

It’s Easton’s house.

Easton’s bathroom.

My brother is in the next room over eating pizza like everything is normal and I’m sucking on Easton’s tongue while he bites down on my lip.

This is not a normal Monday.

This is not a normal day.

I want to shove him away because I know this means nothing to him, but I can’t help the way I feel. That way I’ve always felt.

Selfishly I want this maybe more than he does.

Even if tomorrow he goes back to ignoring me. So I say it, out loud, I don’t want to get hurt and he has the power to do exactly that. “This means nothing.”

He moans into my mouth. “Absolutely nothing.”

“It’s just sex.” I agree even though I know it’s not. Even though this will be my first time and everything is right and wrong and confusing and imperfect.

“One hundred percent.” He agrees, his mouth leaving mine briefly as he kisses my chin then roughly pulls my leggings down along with my underwear, I’m completely bare to him. I have no time to be embarrassed. Cold air hits my ass as he lifts me onto the counter tugging off my shoes, socks, and letting my leggings dangle from my right leg while he unbuttons his jeans.

1 help him.

seriously wrong with

told me to stop, I’d compare it to withholding your breath, with

It’s impossible to survive.

fresh air, I suck him in like an addict-he holds me close like an

his perfect ass annoying me to no end as he reaches into the drawer by the

This is happening.

“Easy access?” I taunt.

ordered the pizza.” He says kissing

away. “This

He admits, his eyes unfocused, crazy. Just hopeful. Do you really think I’m that insane to fuck you with

reach for him, biting down

neck, frozen there like he wants to memorize the moment when he’s already promised it means nothing to him.

jokes about being a

ch

at him, his eyes lock on

 

He owns me.

my brother announced he had a new best

I’ve wanted him since I can

open, he puts on the condom. I’m afraid to

when I do it’s to see his fingers creeping up my thighs pulling them further apart as he tucks himself back in like he’s changed his

I realize I’m shaking.

He knows it.

presses his palm against me, his finger gently making my body

his other hand fingering me, before his mouth replaces them–his tongue is invasive and hot. It’s perfect.

feel tears. I’m not embarrassed. I’m scared. Scared this feeling will go away, scared this

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