You’re Mine by Penny Brooks

Chapter 125

Harper

"It would be so much easier if I still didn't feel like shit!"

I throw myself onto my bed as Sadie paces back and forth as if that's going to help the trauma of the day. Why can't things be easier?

I do love him. I do. I just feel betrayed. Hurt.

And exhausted, quite honestly, I could nap for ten days and probably still not feel rested.

Maybe it's the fact that I was so sick and jumped right back into school, the trauma of my mom finding us, or feeling guilty over not telling my parents about the love of my life.

Wow, take your pick.

"He's an asshole,’ she finally says. "Let him sweat it out a bit."

“Would you?"

I ask. "Let Ryan sweat it out?

Or would you communicate?

Hear him out?

Be mature?

I don't even know what I want to do. One minute, I want to run Easton over, the next I want to hold him and never let go.

He's mine, Sadie. Mine. I love him. I just...I don't understand this side of him. The one that's still holding back, the one that's afraid.”

She sighs. “Love is scary, babe. No matter how young or old you are.

It has no prejudices, it is what it is. One day, it cuts you so deep you think you might bleed out, the next day you wonder how you ever lived without that feeling.

It simply exists and you live in it because on those good days, the really good

second without that person

each other, you'll get through it, fight for it, and come out on the

her hands. “He's dead to

and then I burst into

sick, and I feel so much pressure over finals and getting

feel like a true crime story ready to unravel

stop myself. Sadie tilts her head. "Blake seemed extra friendly today.

"He was

partner in gym. I let him because honestly everyone else was pairing up while

"Was he nice?"

examining her fingernails. "For Blake, I mean, since all

We had

barely flirted and it at least distracted me for nearly an hour,

"I still

"Yeah."

don't tell her that I'm back to wondering what exactly is off because I can't put my finger on it. "Maybe. I don't know. Either way, it was a

"Blake?"

rush to my laptop and open it. "Let me just send

sounds at my door.

in. "Hey, beautiful, mind if I borrow you

Sadie on the

wait, you're friends with

right now, you both need to listen to the reason. Yes, I knew, blah, blah, blah, you all want to murder me, who runs the world, girls, but for real...he did nothing wrong and

cheat on you. Besides, if he did, I'd cheerfully kill him and

fill my eyes. "Thanks,

“Anytime.”

and pulls her out of my room, leaving me alone with my laptop and all my dark

take a deep breath

And then I type.

know we

but I miss you. I don't want to break up, I

so I at least thought I could email and let you know that no matter what, right now, in this moment,

And I'm still yours.