Chapter 125

Harper

"It would be so much easier if I still didn't feel like shit!"

I throw myself onto my bed as Sadie paces back and forth as if that's going to help the trauma of the day. Why can't things be easier?

I do love him. I do. I just feel betrayed. Hurt.

And exhausted, quite honestly, I could nap for ten days and probably still not feel rested.

Maybe it's the fact that I was so sick and jumped right back into school, the trauma of my mom finding us, or feeling guilty over not telling my parents about the love of my life.

Wow, take your pick.

"He's an asshole,’ she finally says. "Let him sweat it out a bit."

“Would you?"

I ask. "Let Ryan sweat it out?

Or would you communicate?

Hear him out?

Be mature?

I don't even know what I want to do. One minute, I want to run Easton over, the next I want to hold him and never let go.

He's mine, Sadie. Mine. I love him. I just...I don't understand this side of him. The one that's still holding back, the one that's afraid.”

She sighs. “Love is scary, babe. No matter how young or old you are.

It has no prejudices, it is what it is. One day, it cuts you so deep you think you might bleed out, the next day you wonder how you ever lived without that feeling.

doesn't take sides. It simply exists and you live in it because on those good days, the really good fucking days, you can't imagine waking up

more second without that person holding your hand

yeah, while this all sucks, I know if you really love each other, you'll get through it, fight for it, and come out on the other

claps her hands. “He's

then I burst into tears again. "I'm sorry, I'm just so emotional these

was sick, and I feel so much pressure

like a true crime

her head. "Blake seemed extra friendly today.

shrug. "He was pretty tame.

everyone else was pairing up while I was throwing a pity party and he just

"Was he nice?"

her fingernails. "For Blake, I mean, since

was. We

at least distracted me for

nods. "I still think something's

"Yeah."

off because I can't put my finger on it. "Maybe. I don't know. Either way,

"Blake?"

laptop and open it. "Let me just send this

at my door.

beautiful, mind if I borrow

Sadie on

"Nope, wait, you're friends with

the reason. Yes, I knew, blah, blah,

eyes soften. "He loves you. He would never cheat on you. Besides,

my eyes. "Thanks,

“Anytime.”

out of my room, leaving

breath and

And then I type.

know we

if I'm just letting life kick my ass, but I miss you. I don't want to break

text you, so I at least thought I could email and

And I'm still yours.

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