Chapter 125

Harper

"It would be so much easier if I still didn't feel like shit!"

I throw myself onto my bed as Sadie paces back and forth as if that's going to help the trauma of the day. Why can't things be easier?

I do love him. I do. I just feel betrayed. Hurt.

And exhausted, quite honestly, I could nap for ten days and probably still not feel rested.

Maybe it's the fact that I was so sick and jumped right back into school, the trauma of my mom finding us, or feeling guilty over not telling my parents about the love of my life.

Wow, take your pick.

"He's an asshole,’ she finally says. "Let him sweat it out a bit."

“Would you?"

I ask. "Let Ryan sweat it out?

Or would you communicate?

Hear him out?

Be mature?

I don't even know what I want to do. One minute, I want to run Easton over, the next I want to hold him and never let go.

He's mine, Sadie. Mine. I love him. I just...I don't understand this side of him. The one that's still holding back, the one that's afraid.”

She sighs. “Love is scary, babe. No matter how young or old you are.

It has no prejudices, it is what it is. One day, it cuts you so deep you think you might bleed out, the next day you wonder how you ever lived without that feeling.

on those good days, the really good fucking days, you can't imagine

more second without that person holding

I know if you really love each other, you'll get through it, fight for it, and come out on the other side.

claps her hands.

and then I burst into tears again. "I'm sorry, I'm just so

school when I was sick, and I feel so much pressure over

with Aisha still feel like a true crime story ready to

her head. "Blake

shrug. "He was

everyone else was pairing

"Was he nice?"

asks, examining her fingernails. "For Blake, I mean, since all the Aisha

was. We had

flirted and it at least distracted me for nearly an

still think

"Yeah."

that I'm back to wondering what exactly is off because I can't put my finger on it. "Maybe. I don't know. Either way, it was a horrible day and

"Blake?"

say, then rush to my laptop and open it. "Let me just send

sounds at my door.

himself in. "Hey, beautiful, mind if

Sadie on

you're friends with

reason. Yes, I knew, blah, blah, blah, you all want to murder me, who runs the world, girls, but for real...he did

He would never cheat on you. Besides, if he did, I'd cheerfully kill him and

fill my eyes. "Thanks,

“Anytime.”

Sadie's arm and pulls her out of my room, leaving me alone with

breath and get

And then I type.

know we

know if I overreacted or if I'm just letting life kick my ass, but I

you, so I at least thought I

And I'm still yours.

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