You’re Mine by Penny Brooks

Chapter 125

Harper

"It would be so much easier if I still didn't feel like shit!"

I throw myself onto my bed as Sadie paces back and forth as if that's going to help the trauma of the day. Why can't things be easier?

I do love him. I do. I just feel betrayed. Hurt.

And exhausted, quite honestly, I could nap for ten days and probably still not feel rested.

Maybe it's the fact that I was so sick and jumped right back into school, the trauma of my mom finding us, or feeling guilty over not telling my parents about the love of my life.

Wow, take your pick.

"He's an asshole,’ she finally says. "Let him sweat it out a bit."

“Would you?"

I ask. "Let Ryan sweat it out?

Or would you communicate?

Hear him out?

Be mature?

I don't even know what I want to do. One minute, I want to run Easton over, the next I want to hold him and never let go.

He's mine, Sadie. Mine. I love him. I just...I don't understand this side of him. The one that's still holding back, the one that's afraid.”

She sighs. “Love is scary, babe. No matter how young or old you are.

It has no prejudices, it is what it is. One day, it cuts you so deep you think you might bleed out, the next day you wonder how you ever lived without that feeling.

It simply exists and you live in it because on those good days, the really good fucking days, you can't imagine

can't imagine breathing one more second without that

you'll get through it, fight for it, and come out on the other side. Until

hands.

burst into tears again. "I'm sorry, I'm just so emotional these

that I missed school when I was sick, and I feel so much pressure over finals and getting into

still feel like a true crime

myself. Sadie tilts her head. "Blake seemed extra friendly today. Wanna talk

was

my partner in gym. I let him because honestly everyone else was pairing up while

"Was he nice?"

asks, examining her fingernails. "For Blake, I mean,

was. We

least distracted me for nearly

"I still

"Yeah."

my finger on it. "Maybe. I don't know. Either way, it was a horrible day and I hate that I

"Blake?"

then rush to my laptop and open it. "Let me

sounds at

mind if I

Sadie on the

"Nope, wait, you're friends with the

just say right here and right now, you both need to listen to the reason. Yes, I knew, blah, blah, blah, you all want to

loves you. He would never cheat on you. Besides, if he did, I'd cheerfully kill

my eyes.

“Anytime.”

Sadie's arm and pulls her out of my room, leaving me

a deep breath and

And then I type.

know we need

or if I'm just letting life kick my ass, but I miss you. I don't want to break up, I just need some time...but I also

know what to do and how things got so complicated so fast, but... can't text you, so I at least thought I could email and let you know that

And I'm still yours.