You’re Mine by Penny Brooks

Chapter 125

Harper

"It would be so much easier if I still didn't feel like shit!"

I throw myself onto my bed as Sadie paces back and forth as if that's going to help the trauma of the day. Why can't things be easier?

I do love him. I do. I just feel betrayed. Hurt.

And exhausted, quite honestly, I could nap for ten days and probably still not feel rested.

Maybe it's the fact that I was so sick and jumped right back into school, the trauma of my mom finding us, or feeling guilty over not telling my parents about the love of my life.

Wow, take your pick.

"He's an asshole,’ she finally says. "Let him sweat it out a bit."

“Would you?"

I ask. "Let Ryan sweat it out?

Or would you communicate?

Hear him out?

Be mature?

I don't even know what I want to do. One minute, I want to run Easton over, the next I want to hold him and never let go.

He's mine, Sadie. Mine. I love him. I just...I don't understand this side of him. The one that's still holding back, the one that's afraid.”

She sighs. “Love is scary, babe. No matter how young or old you are.

It has no prejudices, it is what it is. One day, it cuts you so deep you think you might bleed out, the next day you wonder how you ever lived without that feeling.

doesn't take sides. It simply exists and you live in it because on those good days, the really good fucking days,

more second without that person holding your hand

know if you really love each other, you'll get

her hands. “He's dead to

can't help it, and then I burst into tears again. "I'm sorry, I'm just so emotional these

hate that I missed school when I was sick, and I feel so much pressure over finals and

like a true crime

myself. Sadie tilts her head. "Blake

"He was pretty

partner in gym. I let him because honestly everyone else was pairing up

"Was he nice?"

"For Blake, I

was. We

and it at least distracted me for nearly an hour, which I totally

still think

"Yeah."

put my finger on it. "Maybe. I don't know. Either

"Blake?"

say, then rush to my laptop and open

sounds at my

beautiful, mind if

kisses Sadie

then shoves him. "Nope, wait, you're friends

say right here and right now, you both need to listen to the reason. Yes, I knew, blah, blah, blah, you all want

never cheat on you. Besides, if he did, I'd cheerfully kill him and go to

fill my

“Anytime.”

grabs Sadie's arm and pulls her out of my room, leaving me alone with

a deep breath and get on

And then I type.

I know we

but I miss you. I don't want to break up, I just need some time...but

things got so complicated so fast, but... can't text you, so I at least thought I could email and let you know that no matter what, right now, in

And I'm still yours.