Harper

 I didn’t want to go to Blake’s party, and I tried to come up with every excuse in my head to back out.

I even ran a few of them past Sadie once I found out Easton was dead set on going.

But each excuse I gave to my best friend, she returned with the same reply—that I was going no matter what, and her sassy self didn't want to hear any more abott it.

Anxiety ate at me all day.

I could feel it in my hands while I was getting ready, my eye liner a wobbly line, far too thick and beyond repairable.

But after that joint we smoked in the car and the electric blue punch that I've been sipping from Blake’s kitchen—that probably has thirty different kinds of alcohol in it, oops, whatever—I hate to admit that I’m actually having fun.

But I really am.

Blake’s game room, which is more like an arcade, is where we've spent most of the night.

The boys have been battling out an epic game of beer pong, Sadie and I jumping in to partner with them when we're not lost in our own war of Ms.

Pac—Man or bowling— because, of course Blake has a bowling alley in his basement.

And whenever we run low on drinks, Blake sends one of his servers to refill our glasses.

I've never been to a high school party that has waiters.

Not even Easton hires them for his ragers.

But I’m not surprised that Blake has gone all out, he doesn’t do anything half—assed.

Even as he’s standing next to Easton, partnering with him on this round of pong, he looks perfect.

His hair is more styled than mine.

His outfit is so put together, I swear he uses a Stylist.

He catches me looking at him and smiles and when he finishes the round with Easton, he comes over to the bowling area where Sadie and I are hanging out.

he says, clinking

He looks up at the TV that’s

“Damn, you're on fire.

that good at bowling.” “Neither did I,” I admit, laughing, watching Sadie’s ball head straight into the gutter,

this has been a blast.” “A few more of those”—he nods toward my glass—“and I just might be getting a kiss at midnight.”

Sadie shouts at her second attempt,

wanted to protect

want anyone

makes me fucking crazy.” “Thank you,” I whisper, feeling his words, the impact

had my back.” That's mostly

there were times I’ve doubted him, but that's when I've allowed Sadie and Easton and Aisha to creep

went by my heart and the way it’s felt, I’ ve been team Blake all the

“Good.” His grin grows.

doing wrong?” Sadie whines,

in the air, like she’s trying to actually fight

turn back to Blake, my

tamed and make all this drama—the spray painting and the name calling and the WHGOSSIP posts—go away.” When I realize how silly

of this is in your control, but it’s getting to

of it.” “Then why does it keep happening? Who am I hurting so badly that they want to hurt me?” His stare shifts

“I wish I knew.

could take it all away and replace

the servers returns with a full glass of punch and a drink for

the tray

news is,

at Sadie”—he points to her as she attempts a fourth try and fails again, cursing at the lane like

start of a new year and

off with a fucking dud of a night.” He's

the last New Year's I'll ever celebrate with all

we go to college, everything is going

for the holidays, who

We could lose touch.

could be totally

this party,”

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