A Lifetime With You by Athrhteera

Chapter 44

Alena

I found myself standing in front of the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) despite being on my maternity leave. Many babies were in their incubators, sleeping. Some babies were awake as they moved their hands and tiny little feet around; they were making me smile,

knowing I should've been holding one of my own.

These babies were being kept here to be monitored closely but some would be able to return back to their mothers soon. Healthy babies were just needed extra checkups for safety measures.

It surprised me a little at the fact that I wasn't crying but I was smiling.

At least other people were able to experience the happiness of becoming a parent instead of being left to bury them instead.

I had spent my days and nights crying for the loss of my baby but for once, I was able to forget about that for a little while. If I were alone in bed, I was only capable of crying.

"Alena?" A familiar voice called out, making me turn to see Lily.

The last time I saw Lily was three weeks ago before everything went down. She had taken a few days off to travel and I had been at home to grieve-she heard about what had happened and I could see it on her face, the sympathy. "Hey Lily," I smiled.

Lily didn't waste any time before pulling me in for a hug, as tight as she could.

Remember when I said I was smiling instead of crying? Well, being hugged by Lily seemed to have made the tears fall down cheeks. We had been close ever since we started working together; we didn't bother with what people said about never being too close with your colleagues because we were inseparable.

my

I held back my breath, trying to control myself from breaking apart.

She rubbed my back slowly before pulling away.

""Let's sit down,"

We both walked out of NICU and down the hallway, where there was an empty bench. It was quiet here, not a long of people passing through which made it easier for us to talk.

Lily tried calling me when she heard about the bad news but I had rejected and ignored her calls until she just stopped because she probably decided it was best to respect my space. I felt bad for doing that to her, maybe I could've answered once.

"How are you, Alena?" She asked, grabbing my hand.

"I'm doing okay,"

"I really hope you are. You seem to have lost a lot of weight,"

don't have

be there for me when my life was going through different shit at

good liar but it seemed to appear that I was the worst liar. Nobody could believe me if they saw how miserable I looked-sunken and swollen eyes,

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Chapter 44

get some fresh air and I ended up at the

don't know what to

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with you, don't you? Your parents. Your family. Your friends. We're all here for you to help you." She said, sighing at the end. "You and Matteo didn't deserve what happened but

I quickly wiped them away, not wanting to cry in front of Lily

home, pushing Matteo away from me. As much as he tried to be there for me, I had never seemed to appreciate his efforts and kept pulling myself further and further away from him. He didn't deserve that treatment, too. "I know. I know

only watching me. She was being respectful by not saying anything else I appreciated that, when she could've said more but she didn't want to. At times like these, I was pretty sure nobody knew exactly what

gotten into an argument with Matteo before I ended up

time I pushed him away; why

apart. Sometimes, I felt the need to reach out to Matteo and have him close to me. I had missed the feeling of his warm skin, his

our current relationship. We

phone rang for a few times. She had ignored the first couple of calls but when the calls just kept coming, she couldn't help but glance down at her phone. Me being the selfless Alena, I nodded and gestured for her to pick it up; it could be urgent or important. "Go ahead, Lily. Pick up the phone," I

sighed, "I'll

to pick up the call,

one of us were going through something. None of us were truly happy and if we were, that certain happiness was never going to last

scary

I had lost Marco.

terrified.

scared

was scared of losing someone

scared of

fingers across my bottom lip, missing the feeling of my husband's lips against mine. Last night had caused butterflies to flutter in my stomach but I had somehow managed to push those feelings away and

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Chapter 44

I saw the look on

swallowed the huge lump in my throat to ignore

memories of us flew

in love and from the moment we had succumbed to each other's touch.