A Lifetime With You by Athrhteera

Chapter 43 Matteo

The kiss had stopped almost immediately as Alena pulled herself away from me, creating a distance between us. Since when did it feel so wrong to kiss my own wife?

I had truly missed the feeling of her lips on mine but at the same time, I knew we weren't exactly in a good phase with one another. As much as I needed her affection, I needed to respect her more than prioritising my needs.

It eased me a little bit knowing she was still very much in love with me; she longed for my touch, for my kiss, yet she desperately tried to push us away.

I cleared my throat, "I'm sorry."

Deep down, I didn't need to apologise to my wife for kissing her but I was apologising incase I was putting her in an uncomfortable situation-despite the fact that, she was the one who kissed me first.

I'm glad she did, it gave me a few seconds of happiness.

"Please,

Matteo. It's better for us to have our own space for now," she replied.

"I can give

how

the space you want, Alena but you can't keep pushing me away forever. You want space? I can give you space. You just can't expect that I'll be further and further away from you. I'll just long for you more." My answer was a direct hit, she needed to know I felt about us. Alena Orlov, the same woman I had fallen in love with ever since she walked into my office. The day she had proposed for fake marriage, the day I saw her confidence and it was an attractive trait.

Women were used to

If I were to fall in love cling onto me, begging me for attention but she was clinging onto her freedom. The freedom she wanted for so long and she didn't mind risking it all.

If 1

If I were to

again and again, I'd choose to fall in love with her.

to meet someone again and again, I'd choose to meet with her.

Even if we were given different paths in our lives, even if we were bound to suffer along the road, I wouldn't want it any other way. My heart and my soul was no longer mine when she became my wife but it was all for her, for Alena.

I I couldn't explain to anyone else or even to myself about how much I love her.

All I could do was admire her and show her the love she deserved.

Ever since we became one, I had felt at peace with my life. As a sinner like me, as a killer like me, I had never thought of a happy ending with someone as perfect as her. I had suffered in different ways throughout the mafia but if all the suffering and all the grieving was to lead to her, it was worth it.

"Just... a little bit of time. Can you give me that?" She asked, her eyes pleading. "Of course. All the time

you

need."

I

my thoughts, I

make her own decisions. As

08:

and the beginning of our journey as a married couple. We never expected to lose him. We never expected to bury our son he wasn't even given the chance to live his life yet. Thu,

!

lullaby, letting him feel the warmth of my body and always sending him prayers. The countless times of imagining being a family of

up, pulling the blanket close to her

for me to smell her scent but tonight, just like any other nights before, I had to give her space. After sparing a second glance at her, I once in

For

e had feltepped

out of

though before her, it was only

close the door behind

into my life that when it had stopped, I felt as if I

my feet were taking me, to Marco's nursery. We had prepared everything for the arrival of our son; clothes, crib, essentials and even soft toys. We were thrilled to become parents and we thrived to be the perfect ones. I didn't bother to turn on the lights as I stood in the dark. when I

have to see me like this. She could cry her heart out and she could show her frustration but I could never see me this way. I reached out for the sonogram, just a couple of weeks before

because I was happy. How could we had lost our happiness when just a couple of weeks ago, we were too happy? "Marco..." The name left my lips in a

small part of me was trying to stay positive into thinking that Marco was in a better place. That he was too good to be

of me was blaming God for

Catholic but

to enjoy? Was I not allowed

thought we were lovers. We were never blessed with

!

wasn't ready to be a father and she wasn't ready to

I was more than ready with

easier with

It was simpler.

down at the corner of the room, staring out the window and onto the dark night sky. This room was going

Chapter 43

08:27 Thu,

Oct 24

thing in here was proof

80%

80%

+5

+5

probably, we were going to be blessed with another baby. Even if all of those happen in the nearest future, we were never going to forget Marco. Moving on didn't mean