A Lifetime With You by Athrhteera

Chapter 43 Matteo

The kiss had stopped almost immediately as Alena pulled herself away from me, creating a distance between us. Since when did it feel so wrong to kiss my own wife?

I had truly missed the feeling of her lips on mine but at the same time, I knew we weren't exactly in a good phase with one another. As much as I needed her affection, I needed to respect her more than prioritising my needs.

It eased me a little bit knowing she was still very much in love with me; she longed for my touch, for my kiss, yet she desperately tried to push us away.

I cleared my throat, "I'm sorry."

Deep down, I didn't need to apologise to my wife for kissing her but I was apologising incase I was putting her in an uncomfortable situation-despite the fact that, she was the one who kissed me first.

I'm glad she did, it gave me a few seconds of happiness.

"Please,

Matteo. It's better for us to have our own space for now," she replied.

"I can give

how

the space you want, Alena but you can't keep pushing me away forever. You want space? I can give you space. You just can't expect that I'll be further and further away from you. I'll just long for you more." My answer was a direct hit, she needed to know I felt about us. Alena Orlov, the same woman I had fallen in love with ever since she walked into my office. The day she had proposed for fake marriage, the day I saw her confidence and it was an attractive trait.

Women were used to

If I were to fall in love cling onto me, begging me for attention but she was clinging onto her freedom. The freedom she wanted for so long and she didn't mind risking it all.

If 1

If I were to

again and again, I'd choose to fall in love with her.

to meet someone again and again, I'd choose to meet with her.

Even if we were given different paths in our lives, even if we were bound to suffer along the road, I wouldn't want it any other way. My heart and my soul was no longer mine when she became my wife but it was all for her, for Alena.

I I couldn't explain to anyone else or even to myself about how much I love her.

All I could do was admire her and show her the love she deserved.

Ever since we became one, I had felt at peace with my life. As a sinner like me, as a killer like me, I had never thought of a happy ending with someone as perfect as her. I had suffered in different ways throughout the mafia but if all the suffering and all the grieving was to lead to her, it was worth it.

"Just... a little bit of time. Can you give me that?" She asked, her eyes pleading. "Of course. All the time

you

need."

I

thoughts, I

was hers, she had every right to make her own decisions. As her husband, it was necessary

08:

to lose him. We never expected to bury our son he wasn't even given the chance

!

lullaby, letting him feel the warmth of my body and always sending him prayers. The countless times of imagining being a family of three. There was

pulling the blanket close to her before

there beside her, to let her sleep the night away in my arms and for me to smell her scent but tonight, just like any other nights before, I had to give her space. After sparing a second glance at her, I once

For

e had feltepped

out of

her, it

close

said, Alena was the colour. She brought every joy and every laughter into my life that when it had stopped, I felt as if

We had prepared everything for the arrival of our son; clothes, crib, essentials and even soft toys. We were thrilled to become parents and we thrived to be the perfect ones.

especially Alena, she didn't have to know. her She didn't have to see me like this. She could cry her heart out and she could show her frustration but I could never see me this way. I reached out for the sonogram, just a couple of weeks before we found out

smiling as wide as I could because I was happy. How could we had lost our happiness when just a couple of weeks ago, we were

better place. That he was too good to be true, that he was

big part of me was blaming God for taking him away

a devoted Catholic but I had

enjoy? Was I not allowed to

we were lovers. We were never blessed with a child-we weren't planning or anything, we just thought we were better off being just the two

!

to be a father and she wasn't

more than ready

easier

It was simpler.

sat down at the corner of the room, staring out the window and onto the dark night sky. This room was

Chapter 43

08:27 Thu,

Oct 24

but every single thing in here was

80%

80%

+5

+5

be blessed with another baby. Even if all of those happen in the nearest future,