I stay quiet, just absorbing her words. The way she said them, there was a hint of

something I just couldn't place my finger on. It's like when you've been treated so

horribly before and then find someone who treats you with real tenderness, that

it's almost unbelievable.

Yes, that's it. She sounds as if she still can't believe just how considerate and

caring Knox had been.

"Nyx," I say, drawing in a breath, "I want to ask you something and I'll completely

understand if you don't want to answer."

She shifts, all her attention on me.

"Okay. What is it?"

My heart is pounding as I think of a way to broach the subject. I can feel sweat

pool under my armpits.

"You are nervous," she observes. "Why?"

I don't respond. I'm still trying to find the right words, a gentle way of asking

without sounding too pushy.

"Come on, Sadie, just ask."

"Alright," I exhale. "Did you... did you have a mate before Knox?"

There is silence. Pure silence.

For a moment everything feels like it has been frozen in time. Like the world

around me has been suspended.

as the seconds stretch endlessly. I wait for

before I finally hear her soft

did," she

I was holding rushes out of my lungs. I wanted

have it, I don't know what

him?" I ask, voice

as if she is

about it, Sadie," she whispers. "I'm not

him."

voice cracks on the last

I hear it in

This isn't

wound she's yet

from. It's something that

and she isn't ready

relive that pain again.

it, but I won't.

Or did he die? The pain

results from something

and uncomfortable. Soon I

urge to break it.

one of your memories

"Which one?"

It's imprinted on my

It's like slowly they

by love. Xena loved her; that was clear to see,

the hell changed?

that day," she

look.

like I

mother was this powerful,

untouchable force. Xena was

of being the

And there I was-awkward,

uncoordinated, powerless. I even

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