Alpha Alec's Redemption by Kathy M

Her words kept playing in my head.

I couldn't for the life of me understand why she would say that. Why she'd say that

I am lucky.

I want to argue with her. I want to prove that she's wrong. I want to remind her of everything Alec put me through-of what I endured in his arms, at his hands-but I don't.

This isn't about comparing who had it worse. This isn't about measuring pain like it's a competition. This isn't about comparison at all.

She went through what she did, even though she hasn't told me what it is, and I'm sure to her it was the greatest, most heartbreaking pain she's ever felt. I went through what I did with Alec, and for me, it was the hardest, most heartbreaking thing I've ever faced.

It doesn't matter whose pain cuts deeper. Doesn't matter the level. Doesn't matter how much it hurts. Pain is pain.

When we're dealing with heartbreak, when we're dealing with pain, we're all a little selfish. We assume that ours is the worst. We have this tendency to try and diminish the pain another person is feeling just to make room for ours.

I don't want to do that to Nyx and I don't want her to do it to me, either. We both suffered. We both bled. It doesn't matter how or by whose hand; at the end of the day, we both carry pain.

Once the truth of that settles in my chest, I decide to change the subject. I don't want this to be a sore point between us. I don't want conflict, so I choose to change the topic. To focus on something else, to focus on something different, anything except what we've both been through.

"Nyx... What happened to your mother?"

She's a silent for a moment before she answers, "I don't know... I'm not sure."

I freeze. "What do you mean you don't know? What kind of answer is that?"

"You don't know where your biological parents are, either." She bluntly replies, her tone flat as she rolls her eyes.

I blink, speechless. "That's... That's different."

"How? You don't know where your birth parents are and I don't know where my mother is. It's the same thing."

If she had shoulders, I swear she would've shrugged.

a few weeks ago, I didn't even know I was adopted. You can't blame me for not knowing where my birth parents

trying so hard not to think about it. Trying so hard not to wonder why my real parents gave me up, why they didn't want me. I've

cuts in, "Yet you haven't done anything

slice through me like a jagged blade, making it a little bit hard to

trying to move past this topic, "And besides, I know you're trying to change

why you haven't bothered to

nose. "This isn't about me-it's about you. Where is your mom, Nyx?

and Xena are enemies, then it could be that she and her mom are on bad terms, right? Maybe

it," she

I press gently.

can clearly tell that she really doesn't want to talk about this. And maybe I

she is," she begins. "Xena doesn't just hate me. She

Silence once again stretches

between us

hadn't even

of how their mom was with them, I couldn't allowe myself to believe that any of

flames, our mother stood by me," Nyx continues. "She knew that Xena had turned dark. Knew that what Xena was doing

I can do as I sit there and listen to Nyx is wonder. Wonder why Xena turned out like this. Wonder why she switched from the girl that

sister.

made her change? What was so important that she was willing to

that poisoned her? Because from where I'm standing, it seems that he's the only one who has that kind of power over her,

it's possible that after mating and bonding with Xena, some of his darkness was bled into her,

pulls me from those disturbing

our mother the same way she's

"Seriously?" I breathe.

wonder what the hell is actually

Why would

love story with a man