Broken Bond by C.J. Primer

30

VANESSA

Smoke. Leather. Juniper. Spice.

Callum’s signature scent barely lingers on this t-shirt anymore, but if I pull the collar up over my nose and breathe in deep, I can still smell it.

And yeah, I’m that pathetic girl right now lying in bed wearing my ex-boyfriend’s shirt. I wish I could say this is the first time, but that’d be a lie. I threw this t-shirt on to leave his place once, and when I rediscovered it lying in a crumpled heap under my bed a week after he left, I clung to this damn shirt like a lifeline. I’d put it on to drown myself in the illusion that he was with me; that he never left.

Flipping through Callum’s sketchbook has become like a compulsion over the past few days since he gave it to me, and as I paged through it again today, I put on his shirt to feel closer to him. My emotions have been all over the place since that day at the cabin. Seeing him was hard enough, but these drawings… they’re all done with such detail, such care. In handing over the sketchbook, it’s like he bared his soul to me through his art, and now I’m so confused that I have no idea which way is up anymore.

If he cared this much, why’d he leave? It was easier to think that he was just a jerk that didn’t care, but his obsessive illustrations of me don’t fit that narrative. There’s something else to it, something that I’m missing. That missing piece is driving me crazy.

My nose is still buried in the collar of his t- shirt when Vienna knocks on my door,

pushing it open before I can respond. I quickly yank the shirt down, blushing furiously in embarrassment as I flip the sketchbook closed in my lap.

“Miles just stopped by again,” Vee groans, entering my room and padding over to the bed on bare feet. “Don’t worry, I sent him away.” She flops down beside me, eyeing my attire with suspicion and pursing her lips. ”

You’re not really into Miles though, are you?”

Heat crawls up my neck as I lift the sketchbook from my lap, leaning over to slide it onto the nightstand. “What makes you say that?” I ask, feigning nonchalance.

Vienna gives me a deadpan look, her eyes flicking down to the shirt I’m wearing, then back up to meet mine. “You should really wash that thing,” she grumbles, wrinkling her nose.

I roll my eyes and give her a playful shove. I should’ve known she’d notice the shirt right away. She’s seen me in it enough times.

“You wanna talk about it?” Vee asks, stretching her legs out on my bed and leaning back against the headboard.

I blow out a steadying breath. “I don’t know. My mind’s a mess right now.”

Vienna beckons me with a flick of her head, patting her lap. It’s a familiar gesture, and I twist around on the bed to lean back, lying down and resting my head in her lap. She strokes her fingers through my hair softly. Up until recently, our roles were usually reversed in this position. Vee’s life wasn’t easy, and I was always there to comfort her, but lately, she’s been the one to comfort me.

“I know I kinda pushed you toward Miles,” Vee murmurs, her fingertips gliding through my tresses. “I honestly thought that dating someone else would help you get over him. Maybe part of that was selfish, because I was so furious about the way Cal treated you that I wanted you to stick it to him by moving on. But now that he’s back, I think it’s pretty clear that wasn’t the answer.” She looks down at me, her soft brown eyes meeting mine. “It was like putting a band-aid on a bullet wound.”

she continues to comb her fingers through my hair soothingly. “So what’s

blows out a slow breath. “I want the best for you, Ness,” she grits out, “but it doesn’t matter what I think about Cal or Miles or fucking anyone. It’s not about me, it’s about you.

gaze away, chewing on my lower lip.

miss him,” I whisper. Her hand in my hair stills, and I look up at

her head, cutting me off. “No, it isn’t. He was your first

redeeming to have her validate them. It reassures me that maybe I’m not

were so, so good. We were happy. I’ve never felt so alive. He painted my world in vivid color, as if I

I thought it was,” I

a brow. “How so?”

I, but Vee won’t understand unless she sees them with her own eyes. I twist around, pulling my legs up underneath

she asks, glancing down at it warily.

gave it to me,” I

through her teeth as her eyes land on the first drawing. She flicks her gaze to me, then back to the sketchbook, flipping to the next page. Then the next. Her eyes get wider as she continues on, and after

“I know.”

and leafs through a few more, pausing on one that just happens to be a very detailed sketch of me

eyes, snatching the sketchbook out of her

true! The guy’s got talent. Think he’d let me

probably cut his balls off if

a shoulder as a devious smirk pulls

the arm with the sketchbook, twisting

mean?” Vee asks, nodding

I sigh. “That he missed me, too?

cheeks burn with embarrassment,

but

feel like an idiot for asking. Instead, her eyes round in understanding and she says, “That depends. Do you want

the bed with a heavy sigh,

shield my eyes, feeling the bed dip with

beneath her head. “Let me ask you this,” she breathes, and I roll to my side to mirror her position. “Even after everything, would you give him another

reply hoarsely. ” I still don’t understand why he left. How

giving him another chance if he can’t tell me why? How could I trust that he wouldn’t just leave me again?”

I can’t quite decipher. She darts her gaze away, and after a beat, she looks at

told me something,” she blurts.