Broken Bond by C.J. Primer

31

CALLUM

The tip of my pencil moves against the page in quick, sure, strokes as a Nine Inch Nails song blasts through my earbuds, a heavy guitar rift drilling into my skull. The eyes I’m currently drawing are etched into my memory; surrounded in a fan of long, dark lashes and brimming with sadness. I wish I’d never seen that sorrowful look in her eyes. I wish even more that I wasn’t the one who put it there. And I wish I wasn’t stuck in a masochistic loop of drawing her eyes like this over and over again, forcing myself to confront the cruel consequences of my actions.

Sketching used to be my escape. Now, it’s my penance.

I’m so in the zone that I’ve tuned out everything around me- I don’t even realize someone is knocking on my apartment door until the pounding grows more insistent, rattling the door on its hinges and causing pples to form in my water glass beside me. yank out one of my earbuds, jerking my ead up to stare warily in the direction of the oor.

Whoever’s banging their fist against the >ther side clearly isn’t going away, and my nind immediately conjures up the worst- case scenario of who it could be. Fuckface has been blowing up my phone since I got back into town. I’m sure he’s figured out by now that I never put in a good word for Spence with our alpha before leaving, and he’s no doubt pissed about me failing to follow orders like a good little soldier. I wish I could avoid the guy forever like the plague he is, but he always seems to find a way to track me down.

I have half a mind to keep ignoring the knocking at my door, hoping he’ll just go away, and I even go so far as to pick up my earbud and start to slip it back into my ear. Before I do, though, I hear a voice call out that stops me in my tracks.

Her voice.

“Callum? I know you’re in there.”

My breath catches, my pulse skyrocketing.

I tear my other earbud out, tossing them both onto the side table and shooting to my feet. My sketchbook and pencil clatter to the floor, but I hardly even notice until I’m stumbling over them, nearly tripping over my feet in my haste to get to my apartment door. I can’t get it open fast enough; my heart pounds at a chaotic rhythm as I fumble with the lock, nearly tearing the door from its hinges when I finally get it open.

The girl on the other side looks like a goddamn angel descended from heaven and dropped on my doorstep. Her light blue sundress contrasts with her glowing bronze skin, her dark hair swept back in a casual ponytail and her face makeup free. I swear Nessa has never looked more beautiful than she does right now standing in front of me, brown eyes wide and puffy lips slightly parted on a sharp intake of breath when our gazes meet.

She’s here.

I don’t know why or what it means, but I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth. Stunned into silence, I step aside and gesture for her to come in, her sweet floral and cherry scent assaulting my senses as she glides past me into my apartment.

I kick the door closed, my eyes glued to Nessa as she wanders further inside, then spins around to face me.

“I thought you might want this back,” she says, and only then do I realize that she’s got my sketchbook clutched to her chest, grasping it so tightly that her knuckles are white.

“You can keep it,” I mutter, shoving my hands into the pockets of my low-hanging sweats and striding toward her with jerky steps. “There’s plenty more where that came from.”

She arches a perfectly sculpted brow. “How many more?”

I shrug, gesturing to the stack of sketchbooks on the small table beside the recliner. “Take your pick.”

Nessa eyes the stack with curiosity, shuffling closer and running her fingers along the spines. “Are all the drawings like these ones?” she asks, depositing the book she carried in on the top of the stack and tapping the cover with a silver-painted fingernail.

I swipe a hand over my chin, eyes roaming over her form appreciatively before meeting her own again. I probably shouldn’t be checking her out right now, but fuck, I can’t help myself. She’s gorgeous. “I told you before that you were my muse.”

Nessa murmurs, her back turned to me. She suddenly spins around, her eyes blazing with fierce determination as they lock with mine. “No, I deserve to know. After putting me through hell, the least

and raising a

between us in a few quick strides until she’s close enough to touch. She stares up at me in demand, pressing a

protectively. “Don’t you think

for her instinctively, my hands landing on her biceps and pulling her closer. “Not enough?!” I scoff

stepping back with fresh tears shining in

and yanking her into my chest. She doesn’t resist or struggle; instead, her body melts into mine, every soft curve of her meeting every hard edge of me. She

of her head. “So fucking sorry. I should’ve stayed. I know

have her in my arms, though, because it could very well be the last time. I’ve already resolved to come clean, and after what I’m about to tell her, she may never let me get this

two before she starts to wriggle away. Reluctantly, I relinquish my grip, my fingertips trailing down her arms until I take

slumping in defeat. “You

you aren’t going to

me, looking to me expectantly. I try to memorize the way she’s looking at me right now. Her eyes are so wide, so vulnerable. She doesn’t know the truth of who I am yet, and once she does, I have a feeling she’ll never

the truth will set you free?

I can’t see a life worth living without the girl beside me in

fighting against my frayed nerves. It’s time to man up

beyond repair, so what’s one more nail in my coffin?

it all in, and when I get to the part about how I killed the woman from Boulder with my bare hands, she sucks in a sharp gasp of alarm. Still, she stays. She listens. She doesn’t interrupt me, and I go on. I tell her

we went to that dinner at my parents ‘house, Troy reminded me of what I’d done,” I grind out, my throat tightening. ” He reminded me that it could happen again, to you, and I just… fuck, I knew I couldn’t put you at risk like that,

long pause hangs between us as she digests

why you left,”

to. It was the only way to make sure that what happened to her wouldn’t happen to you. I’d never fucking forgive myself if I lost control with you

her hands in

grumble, shaking my head. “It killed me to walk away that night, but even the mate

had to leave to protect

heart she tattooed on my wrist. “Do you get it now? Why we

practically seeing the wheels in her head spinning. I lean forward to rest my elbows on my knees, burying

and I lift my head to find her standing right in front of me, her arms folded tightly over her chest and her eyes rounded in

feet, reaching out to gather her in my arms. She falls into them, fisting my shirt and burying her

said you loved me,” she whimpers, her

inside me crack open and bleed, and I just wish I knew how to fix it. How to make it better. “I still do, Ness,” I admit,

to mine

she breathes, covering my hands with her own

mistake. That doesn’t make you a

of seeing

grumble, sweeping the pad of my thumb over her lower lip. I sigh, my eyes sliding closed. “You