Darn Stupid Brother You Are by Mairee

Chapter 21

(Cylan's POV)

I was lying on my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, when one of the nurses came into our dorm room. "Cylan, you have a visitor," she said with a smile.

My roommates, Hande and Angel, looked at me with mischievous grins spreading across their faces. I raised an eyebrow, wondering what was going on. "What's going on?" I asked them.

Hande's grin grew wider. "Is it your lover coming to see you?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Angel chimed in, her voice full of excitement. "Yeah, is it a secret admirer?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Why do you always assume that whenever I have a visitor or leave the room, it's a lover?" I asked, shaking my head.

Hande shrugged. "We're just curious. You're always so secretive about your personal life."

I sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. "I've told you guys before, Ellen is not my lover. She's my ex-girlfriend. We're just friends now."

Angel raised an eyebrow. "But why does she visit you so often?"

Hande nodded in agreement. "Yeah, are you sure that Ellen is not still in love with her and wants to get back together?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "We're just friends, guys. Don't read into it."

My roommates shrugged, but I could tell they were still curious. Anyone would be. Ellen had been my friend for years, until the brief moment we had dated but no matter what happened between us, we remained close.

I got up and headed downstairs to meet Ellen, leaving their whispers and giggles behind. I didn't care what they said, but I hadn't seen her in weeks and I was looking forward to catching up. She was the one and only person who visited me in this godforsaken place.

As I walked into the visitor's room, I saw Ellen sitting on the couch, looking beautiful as always. Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at me.

she said, standing up to hug

familiar warmth of her embrace.

down

you holding up?" Ellen

feelings for me. He had hinted at it a few times, but Ellen and I both knew that wasn't the case. Ellen had brushed it off, saying he was just being paranoid, but I knew better. Alex was perceptive, and he knew that

taken us a while to repair our

my parents as the reason. She had felt like my secret,

I had finally found the courage to tell my parents the truth. That Ellen was not just a friend,

We had been through so much together, and I knew that our friendship

turned concerned. "Cylan, how are you holding up in here?"

the sterile white walls and the faint smell

by what Dr. Nixon had done. Trying to force those pills down my throat, even though I had told her they were harming me... it still played in my mind like a bad recording. I shook my head, refusing to talk to Ellen about it. I didn't want to relive that moment, not

curfew, like I was some kind of child. Being forced to clean the cafeteria and the dormitory, and having Miss Stefan, our dorm mother, stay in the room with us... it was humiliating. Miss Stefan had been the one

burned inside me as I cleaned. I had felt like a child, being punished for breaking a simple rule. And Miss Stefan's presence

mine for answers. I knew she could tell

spoke up. "I'm fine,"

knew I didn't sound enthusiastic. Ellen raised an eyebrow, her expression skeptical.

to reassure her. But I knew she didn't believe me. And honestly, I didn't believe

ruin our friendship by dumping my emotional baggage on her. After the breakup, I had tried to move on, to find someone new. Then, I had started sleeping around, trying to find my match, but it had only led to more heartache. And then, I had contracted an STD, which had brought me to this center. I was ashamed of my recklessness, ashamed of

searching for answers. I knew she wanted to know what was

Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

want her to think less of me, or to worry about me more than

just talk about something else," I said, trying to change the subject. I didn't want to dwell on my

worried about me. She knew me too well, knew when

she said. "But promise me you'll tell me if something's

a lump form in my throat. I knew she was here for me, but I just couldn't bring myself