Darn Stupid Brother You Are by Mairee

Chapter 21

(Cylan's POV)

I was lying on my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, when one of the nurses came into our dorm room. "Cylan, you have a visitor," she said with a smile.

My roommates, Hande and Angel, looked at me with mischievous grins spreading across their faces. I raised an eyebrow, wondering what was going on. "What's going on?" I asked them.

Hande's grin grew wider. "Is it your lover coming to see you?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Angel chimed in, her voice full of excitement. "Yeah, is it a secret admirer?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Why do you always assume that whenever I have a visitor or leave the room, it's a lover?" I asked, shaking my head.

Hande shrugged. "We're just curious. You're always so secretive about your personal life."

I sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. "I've told you guys before, Ellen is not my lover. She's my ex-girlfriend. We're just friends now."

Angel raised an eyebrow. "But why does she visit you so often?"

Hande nodded in agreement. "Yeah, are you sure that Ellen is not still in love with her and wants to get back together?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "We're just friends, guys. Don't read into it."

My roommates shrugged, but I could tell they were still curious. Anyone would be. Ellen had been my friend for years, until the brief moment we had dated but no matter what happened between us, we remained close.

I got up and headed downstairs to meet Ellen, leaving their whispers and giggles behind. I didn't care what they said, but I hadn't seen her in weeks and I was looking forward to catching up. She was the one and only person who visited me in this godforsaken place.

As I walked into the visitor's room, I saw Ellen sitting on the couch, looking beautiful as always. Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at me.

standing up to hug

hugged her back, enjoying the familiar warmth of her embrace.

sat down on the

holding

happily engaged to Alex. But I also knew that Alex suspected that Ellen still had feelings for me. He had hinted at it a few times, but Ellen and I both knew that wasn't the case. Ellen had brushed it off, saying he was just being paranoid, but I knew better. Alex was perceptive, and he knew that Ellen's

and it had taken us a while to repair our

as the reason. She had felt like my

wake-up call for me. I had realized that I couldn't hide who I was anymore. With Ellen's help, I had finally found the courage to tell my parents

each other's support system. We had been through so much together, and I knew that our

up in here?" she repeated her

sterile white walls and the faint smell of disinfectant. I just smiled, trying to

still played in my mind like a bad recording. I shook my head, refusing to talk to Ellen about it. I didn't want to relive that moment, not even with her. I didn't want

was some kind of child. Being forced to clean the cafeteria and the dormitory, and having Miss Stefan, our dorm mother, stay in the room with us... it was humiliating. Miss Stefan had been the one to mete out the

as I cleaned. I had felt like a child, being punished for

me worriedly, her eyes searching mine for answers. I knew she could tell that something was wrong, but I just

a few minutes of silence, I spoke up.

I didn't sound enthusiastic. Ellen raised an eyebrow, her expression skeptical. "Really?" she asked, her voice

nodded, trying to reassure her. But I knew she didn't believe me. And honestly, I

tried to move on, to find someone new. Then, I had started sleeping around, trying to find my match, but it had only led to more heartache. And then, I had contracted an STD, which had brought me to this center. I was ashamed of my recklessness, ashamed of the choices

searching for answers. I knew she wanted

Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

didn't want her to think less of me, or to worry about me

trying to change the subject. I didn't

when I was hiding something. But she didn't push

"But promise me you'll tell me if something's wrong. I'm

knew she was here for me, but I just couldn't