Darn Stupid Brother You Are by Mairee

Chapter 21

(Cylan's POV)

I was lying on my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, when one of the nurses came into our dorm room. "Cylan, you have a visitor," she said with a smile.

My roommates, Hande and Angel, looked at me with mischievous grins spreading across their faces. I raised an eyebrow, wondering what was going on. "What's going on?" I asked them.

Hande's grin grew wider. "Is it your lover coming to see you?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

Angel chimed in, her voice full of excitement. "Yeah, is it a secret admirer?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"Why do you always assume that whenever I have a visitor or leave the room, it's a lover?" I asked, shaking my head.

Hande shrugged. "We're just curious. You're always so secretive about your personal life."

I sat up, swinging my legs over the side of the bed. "I've told you guys before, Ellen is not my lover. She's my ex-girlfriend. We're just friends now."

Angel raised an eyebrow. "But why does she visit you so often?"

Hande nodded in agreement. "Yeah, are you sure that Ellen is not still in love with her and wants to get back together?"

I waved my hand dismissively. "We're just friends, guys. Don't read into it."

My roommates shrugged, but I could tell they were still curious. Anyone would be. Ellen had been my friend for years, until the brief moment we had dated but no matter what happened between us, we remained close.

I got up and headed downstairs to meet Ellen, leaving their whispers and giggles behind. I didn't care what they said, but I hadn't seen her in weeks and I was looking forward to catching up. She was the one and only person who visited me in this godforsaken place.

As I walked into the visitor's room, I saw Ellen sitting on the couch, looking beautiful as always. Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at me.

said, standing up to hug

enjoying the familiar warmth of her embrace. "Hey," I

down on

are you holding

and was now happily engaged to Alex. But I also knew that Alex suspected that Ellen still had feelings for me. He had hinted at it a few times, but Ellen and I both knew that wasn't the case. Ellen had brushed it off, saying he was just being paranoid, but I knew better. Alex was perceptive, and he knew that Ellen's feelings

Ellen and I had been together for three years, and our breakup had been messy. We had both said things we didn't mean, and it had taken us a while to repair our friendship. But now, we were closer than ever.

citing my refusal to come out to my parents as the reason. She had felt like

call for me. I had realized that I couldn't hide who I was anymore. With Ellen's help, I had finally found the courage to tell

and I were each other's support system. We had been through so much together, and I

concerned. "Cylan, how are you holding up in

taking in the sterile white walls and the faint smell of disinfectant. I

like a bad recording. I shook my head, refusing to talk to Ellen about it. I didn't want to relive that moment, not even with her. I didn't want to talk about just that one action of one

our dorm

cleaned. I had felt like a child, being

she could tell that something was wrong, but I just didn't want to

spoke up. "I'm fine,"

raised an eyebrow, her expression skeptical. "Really?" she asked, her voice laced

to reassure her. But I knew she didn't believe me.

on her. After the breakup, I had tried to move on, to find someone new. Then, I had started sleeping around, trying to find my match, but it had only led to more heartache. And then, I had contracted an STD, which had brought me to this center. I was ashamed of my recklessness, ashamed of the

her eyes searching for answers. I knew she wanted to

Not yet.

Maybe not ever.

me, or to worry about me more than

I said, trying to change the subject. I didn't want to dwell

I could tell she was still worried about me. She knew me too well, knew when I was hiding something. But she didn't push the issue, just let it drop.

me if something's wrong. I'm here for

for me,