My CEO 385

385 Cottage Living (Winona)

I take a step back, assessing the open-plan kitchen, dining, and family room. It's finally coming together. Fresh flowers from the garden fill vases on the counter

The windows gleam, and through them, I can see the forested areas and mountains. Every view, every little touch, feels like it belongs to us:

Keeping myself busy with this house has become more than a distraction. Each polished surface, each thoughtfully placed piece, feels like a tiny triumph over the panic that keeps creeping in.

I need to focus on things I can control-the endless arrangement of pillows, the organization of drawers, the flow of each room. These are things that make sense. Things I can handle.

In two days, Jayden will be back, and every part of me aches for his presence here. The kids and I have been working non-stop, setting up their rooms, making sure there's space for each of their personalities to shine.

Bobby's been a wonder, diving into landscaping and gardening with a passion I hadn't seen in him before. He's caring for the kitten too, handling the tiny furball with a tenderness that surprises me. It's like his support cat. Sarah's been deep in her own world, creating decor pieces and hanging them around her room with the decorators. And Abby-well, she's tagging along with anyone who'll listen to her endless stream of chatter.

This place is doing something to us, bringing us together in a way that feels almost magical. But in quiet 'moments, that sinking feeling still clings, hidden beneath the excitement of this fresh start.

This baby has thrown everything I thought I knew into a dizzying blur. I want so badly to believe I can carry this pregnancy to term and welcome this new life into the world, safe and healthy. But I know too much. The statistics, the risks, doubts in every corner of my mind.

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The last time I was pregnant, it was nothing like this. I didn't have these quiet, terrified conversations with myself about what might happen, about whether this baby was Jayden's, or what it would mean if it wasn't.

need for clarity, and it's twisting itself around every thought. Staying busy is my only option but I probably should

setting up for us. Making it feel like a retreat, a

to, how much I'm hoping he'll walk through that door and find himself at home, truly at peace. But I wonder,

out how far along I am before he gets here, that might give me enough answers to calm this whirlwind in my mind. To know it's Jayden's. Anything else would add layers of complications I'm not

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385 Cottage Living

a way that feels... joyful. I want that moment. I want to see his eyes light up when he finds out,

see her scampering toward me, her face bright with excitement, the kitten following in her wake like a tiny

I found these for our new house,"

I say, bending down to

put them on the island counter and I think maybe

as

the flowers into a small vase on the counter and catch sight of Bobby through the window, working alongside the landscapers, helping trim some hedges and stake a few

swell of pride seeing him take ownership of something with such confidence. This outdoor work is giving him a sense of

to the tiny life growing inside me. I'd made peace with never having another child. After Abby, I'd let that dream

long enough to birth safely. The doctors warned me, their words harsh but necessary. They'd

daring to dream, even

supplies, her eyes lighting up when she sees me. "Mom, look!" she says, lifting a few handmade decorations. "Can we hang these in the kitchen?" "Oh, here you are, Abby's just gone to find you." I look over her wall

"Thank you."

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