Down the Rabbit Hole (Stuck On You)

Chapter 36: Ticking Time Bomb

The first thing I did when I was formally released was go to Hayden's room. I just sat by his bedside, holding his hand. I couldn't really do anything else but wait; so that's what I did. I stayed in his room for days. I didn't eat. I barely slept and if I did, it was in the chair in Hayden's room. "Jo, you have to eat something," he dad said. "That baby is going to die if you don't," he added. I sighed and looked at Hayden's still face.

"I don't care," I said hoarsely. I was feeling weak and dizzy but I didn't care. I was more concerned about Hayden. "I'll eat when Hayden wakes up," I argued.

"No, Jordyn, you are going to eat something. You have someone else to think about now. How could you be so selfish?" my dad said. I looked at him in shock as I stood up.

"Selfish?" I breathed. "My boyfriend. The man I love. The man I would've 4married is lying in a coma and I don't know when he's going to wake up. And you're calling me selfish for being concerned?" I said in disbelief.

"No, I'm calling you selfish for not thinking of that baby that is growing in your stomach," he yelled at me. I flinched at his words. My dad had never really yelled at me like that before.

"You have no idea what this feels like... to be in this position," I said softly. "It hurts," I cried. My dad sighed and pulled me into a hug.

"I know honey... I know," he shushed me softly. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I started sobbing. I hugged him back tightly and let my eyes shut.

"It's not fair," I sobbed.

"I know," he said softly. "It's hard. Remember; we were here with Thomas. I have been through this; maybe not in the same situation as you are right now, but I have been here." How could I forget? I stood there crying on my dad's shoulder until I couldn't stand any longer. He sat me back down in the chair and shushed me.

okay," he whispered. I eventually passed out

said that being here was toxic to my own health. It didn't help at all. I tossed the keys on to the counter and sighed as I looked around. Everything in the apartment reminded me of Hayden. Eventually, I went into his room. I put on one of his favorite shirts and curled up on his bed. I hugged one of his pillows to my chest and cried. I slept there for

sighed sympathetically when she saw me. I know I probably looked a mess. My eyes were probably bloodshot and puffy, my skin was probably pale and ghost-like, and I probably looked like a skeleton. I hadn't looked in a mirror

or showered?" she asked. I shrugged. She sighed and walked in, closing the door behind her. She pushed me gently to my room and into my bathroom. She made me pull off my clothes before she made me get in the shower. I sat down and pulled my knees up to my chest. I put my head on my knees and closed my eyes. Tears trickled across my face and landed on my knees as Quinn ran the bath water. She practically gave me a sponge bath. She ran the water

down on my bed and put my head on her lap and just ran her hand over my hair. I took a shaky

said softly. "He will wake up, and when he does, you don't want him to see you like this, do you?" she asked. I shook my head gently and closed my eyes to keep from crying. I didn't have enough energy to cry anymore. After a while, Quinn dressed me and dragged me to the

standing up suddenly.

better due to

go talk to Hayden," she said. I sighed and shook

I said hopelessly. She dragged me out

hospital. I hated hospitals, but I did want to see Hayden again. Quinn left me alone when we reached Hayden's room. I sat in my chair by his bedside and sighed. I held his hand gently and looked at his peaceful face. "Hayden," I started. "I didn't tell you this earlier, but we're having a baby. Me and you. It would be better if you would wake up. You could come to the doctor appointments

being hopeful right now. "I'm not sure if the baby is a boy or girl yet, but we can find out together. Luca told me about your plan to propose. I would've said yes," I kept talking. His brain monitor spiked again. I squeezed his hand gently. I knew he wouldn't wake up, but it didn't

shrugged and used my fork to move my food around my

slight smile. "I know I'm stupid for thinking

that makes you stupid. You love him. You're going to want to hope for

through. It should be me at that hospital in a coma, not Hayden," I said, tears brimming my

survivor's guilt. It could've happened to anybody," he tried to

shouldn't have happened to him," I said in a whisper. I looked away from him and towards my stomach. I sighed