Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Divorce decree

I get out of my car and slowly walk towards the mansion. My hands were trembling and my body was sweaty.

I still couldn’t believe that it was done. That I was finally divorced from him. The proof of that was currently in my handbag. I was here to bring the final papers to him and to pick Noah up.

Entering the house, I follow the sounds of hushed voices but stop in my tracks when I near the kitchen.

Right now I could hear them clearly and what I heard encased my soul in ice.

“I still don’t understand why you can’t live with me and mommy?” Noah asks his father.

My shaking hands go to my chest. My heart breaking at the sadness in his voice. I would do anything for him, but this divorce was inevitable.

Our marriage had been a mistake. Everything about us was a mistake. It just took me a while to see the truth.

“You know why Noah, you mother and I are no longer together” His voice is soft as he replies.

It’s weird really. That during the duration of our marriage he has never once spoken to me softly. It was always cold. Always flat and devoid of any emotion

“But why?”

“These things just happen” he mumbles.

I can imagine his face frowning. As he tries to make Noah understand so that he doesn’t ask any more questions. But Noah is my son. Curiosity and inquisition is in his blood.

“Don’t you love her?”

My breath gets caught at the simple heartfelt question. I take a step back and lean against the wall. Heart racing, I wait in anticipation for his answer.

I knew his answer. I’ve always known what it is. Everyone with the exception of Noah probably knows that damn answer.

never will. That was as clear as day. Knowing this, I

throat, obviously

do you love mommy or not?” Noah asks again, his

in defeat. “I love her for giving me

was a placation not

against the rush of pain that fills me. After all this time. It still hurts. I feel my heart breaking all over again. I don’t know why a small part of me had

said those three words to me. Not when we got married or when I gave birth to Noah, nor after in the years that had passed

himself back through the entire duration of our marriage. I gave him

marriage. Him, me and the love of his life. The woman he’s

I rub them way. I was tired of crying. Tired of chasing after

ever told you it’s rude to

thoughts in the process. I square my shoulders and enter the

the kitchen counter. My now

grey eyes pins me to the

son. My pride and joy. The only good thing in my life. His good looks

I give them a small

eaten sandwich down and jumps down from the

kiss his forehead before he steps away from me

now I feel out of place

truth though, I

in mind. This was HER dream house, everything down

have been the first indication that he wasn’t planning on letting her go. That he wouldn’t reciprocate my love

annoyance and stares at

today and I thought I could bring you the copy while I pick up

cold and his lips form a thin line. Every time he looks at me like this, a

shattered my soul. I continued loving him. Holding on.

I was wrong. Marriage turned to be a nightmare. I was always fighting with the ghost of his past. The ghost of a girl

chest. Trying to ease

It still fucking hurts

I need to discuss something” Rowan says through clenched teeth,

us for a minute

fighting” he

bangs his fist on the counter in anger. His grey eyes are icy as he

interrupting my time with my son” the words leave his lips in a