4. Utterly broken

Have you ever felt like your heart has been put in a mincer? That is how I feel right now looking at them. I feel like my heart has been shredded into pieces.

If I could take the useless piece of organ and throw it away then I would. Because the pain that was tearing through me was unimaginable.

I wanted to run away. To look away, but I couldn’t. My eyes were fixed on them and no matter how I wanted to avert them it was like they were glued there. To the loving scene that was playing before me.

I watch as they separate. Rowan’s eyes soften as he stares at the love of his life. I continue to watch as he cups her face in his hands. He brings her closer to him. He doesn’t kiss her, just lays his forehead against hers.

He looks peaceful. Like he’s finally home after a long time. Like he was finally whole.

‘I’ve missed you’ I read the words forming on his lips.

I don’t want to imagine what would be happening between them right now if they had met under a different circumstance. If they had met when we were still married. Would he have cheated on me?

Part of me wants to deny that thought but I can’t be sure. After all, this was Emma we were talking about. Rowan would go to hell and back for her sake.

Unable to take it anymore. I stand up and rush outside.

The moment I get outside the tears begin to fall. It fucking hurt and I didn’t know how to numb or stop the pain. But who could I blame? I was the one at fault for falling in love with a man that didn’t belong to me.

beg whichever higher

is no answer though.

enough air into my lungs no matter what I tried.

man that doesn’t belong to

little sister then you can walk your ass back to the hospital where your family is. There is nothing here for

let him see me cry. I won’t give them the chance to see

face.

making sure you to understand that Rowan always belonged to Emma. Your selfishness took him away from her but now they can be together. I hope you won’t get in the way of their happiness.

let out a

way ever again. After this, none of you will have to see or put up with me anymore” I mumble

brows pinched in confusion. “What do you

ever happened. I’ll cry myself to

if she even wants my help. And tell your

I walk away. Heading towards my car. I can hear Travis calling my name but I don’t bother to turn around. I just wanted to go home and break apart

was with his mother. I didn’t want to deal yet with another person that hated my guts. He was safe, so I’ll just pick

have no one to comfort me or look after me. No one to love me. I have

tears start falling down my

tired of crying yet I can’t seem to stop. If only I could go back in time

Once it’s happened, you can never change

*****************************

in turmoil. It came as shock to everyone. He was a well known

I ignored his calls. He was probably all loved up and in

bitter thoughts, I focus on zipping my black

voice comes from behind

him with tears in his eyes. I kneel down so that I am on

it my love?” I

go fishing with this Saturday” his voice catches and my heart breaks at

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