Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

4. Utterly broken

Have you ever felt like your heart has been put in a mincer? That is how I feel right now looking at them. I feel like my heart has been shredded into pieces.

If I could take the useless piece of organ and throw it away then I would. Because the pain that was tearing through me was unimaginable.

I wanted to run away. To look away, but I couldn’t. My eyes were fixed on them and no matter how I wanted to avert them it was like they were glued there. To the loving scene that was playing before me.

I watch as they separate. Rowan’s eyes soften as he stares at the love of his life. I continue to watch as he cups her face in his hands. He brings her closer to him. He doesn’t kiss her, just lays his forehead against hers.

He looks peaceful. Like he’s finally home after a long time. Like he was finally whole.

‘I’ve missed you’ I read the words forming on his lips.

I don’t want to imagine what would be happening between them right now if they had met under a different circumstance. If they had met when we were still married. Would he have cheated on me?

Part of me wants to deny that thought but I can’t be sure. After all, this was Emma we were talking about. Rowan would go to hell and back for her sake.

Unable to take it anymore. I stand up and rush outside.

The moment I get outside the tears begin to fall. It fucking hurt and I didn’t know how to numb or stop the pain. But who could I blame? I was the one at fault for falling in love with a man that didn’t belong to me.

I beg whichever

is no answer

get enough air into my lungs no matter what I tried. I felt like I was slowly dying. Slowly

man that doesn’t

ass back to the hospital where your family is. There is nothing here for you” I wipe my tear stained eyes and

let him see me cry. I won’t give them the

surprised at my words. The shock is etched on his face. I guess he never expected me

making sure you to understand that Rowan always belonged to Emma. Your selfishness took him away from her but now they can

out a

get in anyone’s way ever again. After this, none of you will have to

me. His brows pinched in

sleep and forget this day ever happened. I’ll cry myself to sleep then wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face

if she even

calling my name but I don’t bother to turn around. I just wanted to go

get into my car and drive home. Rowan told me that Noah was with his mother. I didn’t want to deal yet with another person that hated my guts.

am. I have no one to comfort me or look after me. No one to love me. I have absolutely no one

start falling down

stop. If only I could go back in time and change things. Maybe right now I

past. Once

*****************************

is in turmoil. It came as shock to everyone. He was

was probably all loved up and in Emma’s arms right now. She has probably even moved in with him already. I

those bitter thoughts, I focus on zipping my

voice comes

with tears in his eyes. I

is it my love?” I

much. We were supposed to go fishing with