Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

4. Utterly broken

Have you ever felt like your heart has been put in a mincer? That is how I feel right now looking at them. I feel like my heart has been shredded into pieces.

If I could take the useless piece of organ and throw it away then I would. Because the pain that was tearing through me was unimaginable.

I wanted to run away. To look away, but I couldn’t. My eyes were fixed on them and no matter how I wanted to avert them it was like they were glued there. To the loving scene that was playing before me.

I watch as they separate. Rowan’s eyes soften as he stares at the love of his life. I continue to watch as he cups her face in his hands. He brings her closer to him. He doesn’t kiss her, just lays his forehead against hers.

He looks peaceful. Like he’s finally home after a long time. Like he was finally whole.

‘I’ve missed you’ I read the words forming on his lips.

I don’t want to imagine what would be happening between them right now if they had met under a different circumstance. If they had met when we were still married. Would he have cheated on me?

Part of me wants to deny that thought but I can’t be sure. After all, this was Emma we were talking about. Rowan would go to hell and back for her sake.

Unable to take it anymore. I stand up and rush outside.

The moment I get outside the tears begin to fall. It fucking hurt and I didn’t know how to numb or stop the pain. But who could I blame? I was the one at fault for falling in love with a man that didn’t belong to me.

make it stop. Make the pain stop” I beg whichever higher power is there to listen

no answer though.

I feel my chest constricting. I couldn’t get enough air into my lungs no matter what I tried.

is what happens when you want a man that doesn’t belong to you” his mocking

do you want Travis…if you’re here to mock me or warn me to stay away from your precious little sister then you can walk your ass back to the hospital where your family is.

won’t give

at my words. The shock is etched on his face. I guess he never expected me

away from her but now they can be together. I hope you won’t get

out

way ever again. After this, none of you will have to see or put up with me

me. His brows pinched in confusion. “What do

happened. I’ll cry myself to sleep then wake up feeling refreshed and ready

by to help with burial preparations, that’s if she even wants my help. And tell

but I don’t bother to turn around. I just wanted

want to deal yet

Being there alone just reminded me how truly alone I am. I have no one to comfort me or look after

tears start falling down

seem to stop. If only I could go back in time and change things. Maybe right now I would

about the past. Once

*****************************

days since father died and everyone is in turmoil. It came as shock to everyone.

haven’t seen Rowan since that day. He has called though multiple times but I ignored his calls. He was probably all loved up

I focus on zipping my

Noah’s voice comes from

him with tears in his eyes. I kneel down so that I

is it my love?”

fishing with this Saturday” his voice catches and