4. Utterly broken

Have you ever felt like your heart has been put in a mincer? That is how I feel right now looking at them. I feel like my heart has been shredded into pieces.

If I could take the useless piece of organ and throw it away then I would. Because the pain that was tearing through me was unimaginable.

I wanted to run away. To look away, but I couldn’t. My eyes were fixed on them and no matter how I wanted to avert them it was like they were glued there. To the loving scene that was playing before me.

I watch as they separate. Rowan’s eyes soften as he stares at the love of his life. I continue to watch as he cups her face in his hands. He brings her closer to him. He doesn’t kiss her, just lays his forehead against hers.

He looks peaceful. Like he’s finally home after a long time. Like he was finally whole.

‘I’ve missed you’ I read the words forming on his lips.

I don’t want to imagine what would be happening between them right now if they had met under a different circumstance. If they had met when we were still married. Would he have cheated on me?

Part of me wants to deny that thought but I can’t be sure. After all, this was Emma we were talking about. Rowan would go to hell and back for her sake.

Unable to take it anymore. I stand up and rush outside.

The moment I get outside the tears begin to fall. It fucking hurt and I didn’t know how to numb or stop the pain. But who could I blame? I was the one at fault for falling in love with a man that didn’t belong to me.

the pain stop” I beg whichever higher power is there to listen

is no answer

couldn’t get enough air into my lungs no matter what I tried. I felt

you want a man that doesn’t belong to you” his mocking voice penetrates

you’re here to mock me or warn me to stay away from your precious little sister then you can walk your ass back to the hospital where your family is. There is nothing here for you” I wipe my tear stained eyes and put

him see me cry. I won’t give them the chance

The shock is etched on his face. I guess he

you to understand that Rowan always belonged to Emma. Your selfishness took him away from her but now they can be

let out a

in anyone’s way ever again. After this, none of you will have to

His brows pinched in confusion. “What do

and forget this day ever happened. I’ll

I’ll be by to help with burial preparations, that’s if she even wants my help. And tell your

that, I walk away. Heading towards my car. I can hear Travis calling my name but I don’t bother to turn around. I just wanted to go home

I didn’t want to deal yet with another person that hated my guts. He was safe, so I’ll

how truly alone I am. I have no one to comfort me or look after me. No one to love me. I have absolutely

start falling down my

so tired of crying yet I can’t seem to stop. If only I could go back in time and change things. Maybe right now I would

the past. Once it’s happened, you can never

*****************************

died and everyone is in turmoil. It came as shock to everyone.

though multiple times but I ignored his calls. He was probably all loved up and in Emma’s arms

those bitter thoughts, I focus

Noah’s voice comes

with tears in his eyes. I kneel down

is it my love?” I ask

supposed to go fishing with this

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