Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

sit between the two of you?” Noah whispers to

of relief. Thank goodness for small

to switch seats with him. The moment we

difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met

it. If I were to die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one

be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart as she was. Loved as she was. I wasn’t perfect as Emma was.

pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always

pulls me out

realize that the service was over and everyone was

deep voice always makes me

him but I’ll have to because

stand up, without looking at him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him staring

on Noah,

of people wanting to give us their condolences. I spot some of my colleagues and wave

buried father yet and I

finally decided to show your face” Emma’s

blotchy and her eyes

sigh. I so didn’t want to

Can we just bury

then leans in so that I’m the only one that can hear

all those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be mine”

and the departing back of my sister but doesn’t say

of them were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking about worships the ground she walks one. And

lead Noah to the

together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger

says as they lower father’s body to the

his coffin with soil until he is completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma and Travis both have

he cries beside me. Seeing him like this brings tears to my eyes. I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears away. I need to be

to offer their condolences. I accept them mindlessly. It was like I was there but wasn’t at the same time.

is pa and ma” he drags me