Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

I sit between the two of

sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small miracles. I

switch seats with him. The moment we do,

the question is how will you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the way? Or will you leave it with regrets?”

help but think about it. If I were to die today, who will attend my burial? Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one who will be affected by my death will be Noah. Just him and

can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful

now when we’re older, I’m still in her shadow. No one sees my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes first in everyone’s mind while I’m left chasing

me

I realize that the service was over and everyone was

okay?” his deep voice always

alone look at him but I’ll have to because for the next ten

it seems rude but I just can’t look

on Noah,

bombarded by a crowd of

yet and I was already

show your

blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy, but

want to face

Emma. Can we just bury father

smiles then leans in so that I’m the only one that can hear

ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be mine” she then steps aside and leaves just as the preacher calls us to go to back where the cemetery

doesn’t say anything.

doesn’t understand is that she doesn’t have to take anything back because none of them were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking about worships the ground she

me, I lead

Travis. They’re huddled together. Looking at them and me you

preacher says as

wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to her.

Hugging him as he cries beside me. Seeing him like this brings tears to my eyes. I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears away. I need

people flood us to offer their condolences. I accept them mindlessly. It was like I was there but wasn’t at the same time. By the

he drags