Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

the two

for small miracles. I

him. The

it and touched the lives of those that you

Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one who will be affected by my death will be Noah.

I don’t have any friends mostly because I hold myself back. Living under the perfect shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart as she

when we’re older, I’m still in her shadow. No one sees my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes first in everyone’s mind while I’m left chasing

me out of my

service was over and everyone

his deep

talk to him let alone look at him but I’ll have to because for the next ten years we’ll

up, without looking at him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him staring lovingly at Emma

on Noah, let’s

a crowd of people wanting to give us

yet and I was

your

Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy,

so didn’t want to

Can we just bury

I’m the

years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be

sister but doesn’t say anything. I’m left shocked at her words

begin with. The family she’s talking about

the pain that wanted to drown me, I lead Noah to the place

distance from mother, Emma and Travis. They’re huddled together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger just attending

preacher says as they lower father’s body to the

with soil until he is completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma and Travis both have silent tears running down their faces as they hold her

he cries beside me. Seeing him like this brings tears to my eyes. I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe

us to offer their condolences. I accept them mindlessly. It was like I was there but wasn’t at the same time. By

and ma” he drags me