Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

I sit between the two

goodness for small miracles. I wouldn’t

us, I’m able to switch seats with him. The

you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the

am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one who will be affected by my death will

have. I don’t have any friends mostly because I hold myself back. Living under the perfect shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone.

shadow. No one sees my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes first in everyone’s mind while I’m left chasing after leftovers

Noah’s voice pulls me out

realize that the service was over and everyone

you okay?” his deep voice always

him let alone look at him but I’ll have to because for the next ten years

just can’t look at him. Not

Noah,

of

hadn’t buried father yet

to show your face” Emma’s bitter voice says behind

Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy,

sigh. I so didn’t want to face

we just

in so that I’m the

will bury him alright but let me tell you that I am here to stay. You also took my family from me all those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be

back of my sister but doesn’t say anything. I’m left shocked at her

that she doesn’t have to take anything back because none of them were mine to begin with. The family

the pain that wanted to drown me, I lead Noah to

little distance from mother, Emma and Travis. They’re huddled together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger

to dust…” the preacher says as they lower father’s body to the

the loudest as she begs for father

like this brings tears to my eyes. I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears away.

there but wasn’t at the same time. By the time I come out of it, most

there is pa and ma” he