Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

I sit between the two of you?” Noah whispers

goodness for small miracles. I wouldn’t have to be near his suffocating

to switch seats with him. The moment we do, I feel the tension ease up

world one day, the question is how will you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the way? Or will you leave it

I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one who will be affected by my death will be

fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart

one sees my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine.

me

then I realize that the service was over and

deep voice

talk to him let alone look at him but I’ll have to because for the next ten

him. I know it seems rude but I just can’t look at him.

on Noah,

we’re outside we’re bombarded by a crowd of

yet and

to show your face” Emma’s bitter voice says behind

face her. Her face was blotchy and her eyes were red and puffy, but she

didn’t want to

now Emma. Can we just bury father

in so that I’m

also took my family from me all those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be mine” she then steps aside and leaves

but doesn’t say anything. I’m left shocked at

none of them were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking about worships the ground she walks

me, I lead Noah to the place that would be father’s final resting

stand a little distance from mother, Emma and Travis. They’re huddled together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger just attending

dust…” the preacher says as they lower father’s

until he is completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma and Travis both have silent tears running down

me. Seeing him like this brings tears to my eyes. I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears

condolences. I accept them mindlessly. It was like I was there but wasn’t at the same time. By the time I come out of it,

and ma” he drags me