5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

the two of

a sigh of relief. Thank goodness for small miracles. I wouldn’t have to

to switch seats with him. The moment we do, I feel the tension ease up

one day, the question is how will you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along

Will those around me even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only one who will be affected by my

I have. I don’t have any friends mostly because I hold myself back. Living under the perfect shadow that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was.

about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine.

pulls me out of

realize that the service

deep

him let alone look at him but I’ll have to because for the next ten years we’ll be sharing

but I just can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him staring lovingly at Emma is still fresh

on Noah,

we’re outside we’re bombarded by a crowd of people wanting to

father yet and

your face” Emma’s bitter voice

eyes were red and

I so didn’t want to face her

now Emma. Can we just bury father

then leans in so that I’m the only one that can hear

him alright but let me tell you that I am here to stay. You also took my family from me all those years ago but no more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was

sister but doesn’t say anything. I’m left

mine to begin with. The family she’s talking about worships the ground she

I lead

a little distance from mother, Emma and Travis. They’re huddled together. Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger just attending the burial instead of part of

the preacher says as they lower father’s body to the

to cover his coffin with soil until he is completely buried. Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to her. Emma and Travis both have silent tears

tears to my eyes. I hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears away. I need to be strong for him. He needs me

us to offer their condolences. I accept them mindlessly. It was like I was there

is pa and ma” he drags me pointing

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