Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

5. Shoot out

Nothing about the day spelled disaster. The sun was shining and everything seemed to be well in place as I drove down the familiar streets.

The chapel was fully packed when we arrived. Almost everyone had come to pay their last respects.

I surveyed the place and was satisfied to see everything was in place. None of the others had been much help when it came to the burial preparation. I was the one that was left to shoulder the weight of everything.

I didn’t complain though. I took it as a chance for me to reciprocate what he’d done for me. After all, he had fed me, clothed me and put a room over my head.

The service was about to begin and most people were already seated. I decided to sit on the opposite side. It didn’t feel right sitting with the rest. It especially didn’t feel right sitting next to Emma.

“Mom, why are we sitting here…shouldn’t we sit next to grandma?” Noah asks, pointing at where the others were.

Of course we were getting weird looks but I didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t a secret that I wasn’t wholly accepted by the family after everything that happened.

“Most people are already seated. I don’t want us to cause a fracas” I lie.

He looks like he doesn’t believe me but choses to let it go. The father arrives and the sermon begins just as I feel someone sit next to me.

I tense. I would know his presence and cologne anywhere. I don’t know what he was doing seated here. He should be with his precious Emma. In fact I would prefer if he were there.

Damn I sound bitter. Which I was. Bitter, angry and hurt.

“Dad” Noah whisper yells, which causes a few people to turn and look at us.

I glower at them making them turn back around.

I sit between the two of

for small miracles. I wouldn’t have to be near his suffocating

us, I’m able to switch seats with him. The

question is how will you leave it? Will you have made a difference? Changed it and touched the lives of those that you met along the way? Or will you leave it with regrets?” the preacher possess

even care? Whom am I kidding? They wouldn’t. They would probably hold a celebratory feast. The only

that was Emma nailed in the fact that I can never be good enough for anyone. I wasn’t as beautiful as she was. S**y as she was. Smart as she was. Loved as she was. I wasn’t perfect as

her shadow. No one sees my pain or suffering. It’s all about Emma. Her pain is bigger than mine. Her happiness is a priority over mine. She always comes first in everyone’s mind while

pulls me out

service was over

deep voice always makes me

to talk to him let alone look at him but I’ll have

but I just can’t look at him. Not when the memory of him staring lovingly at

Noah, let’s

a crowd of people wanting to give us their condolences.

hadn’t buried father yet

to show your face” Emma’s bitter voice says behind

eyes were red and puffy, but she still looked

I so didn’t want

now Emma. Can we just bury father

so that I’m

more. I plan to take everything back, including the man that was meant to be mine” she

but doesn’t say anything. I’m left shocked at her words but not

none of them were mine to begin with. The family she’s talking

wanted to drown me, I lead Noah to the place that would be father’s final resting

Looking at them and me you would think that I was a stranger just

the preacher says as they lower father’s

Mother’s wails are the loudest as she begs for father to come back to

hate seeing him in pain. I wipe my tears away. I need to be

there but wasn’t at the same time. By the time I come out of it, most people were already

there is pa and ma” he drags me pointing to