4 He’s hurting

Ava

I’m still reeling from Rowan’s actions a couple of days ago. I don’t get what the hell has the inte him. Was he trying to jeopardize his relationship with Emma? Did he want to get me trouble with her?

She already thought that I was out to get her man That I was doing everything can to take hu away from her. What she didn’t understand is that I just wanted peace I didn’t want Rowan I’ve been there, tried that and learned my lesson the hard way.

“Are you sure about that?” an annoying little voice asked me. “You can’t deny that you liked the kiss. That’s how you always imagined him kissing you. With nothing but want and passion”

I shake the thought away. It was wrong. I was determined to move on from Rowan and find a life and love of my own. Just because my body betrayed me didn’t mean anything. My re pons- was purely biological. There was nothing more to it

“Keep lying to yourself” the voice argued

I wasn’t lying to myself. Or maybe I was, bottom line is I wasn’t going to read into Rowan

uncharacteristic behavior or his unexpected kiss.

Pushing thoughts of Rowan completely to the back of my mind, I focus on the door to the coffee

shop. It was five and I had just gotten out of work. Letty and I had made plans to meet up before

going home.

I take a bite of my cake just as the door opens and Letty walks in. Her eyes searches the sea of

people before finally landing on me. She rushes towards me, a smile on her face.

“I’m so sorry I’m late, we had a last minute meeting at the office” she says as she takes a seat

opposite me. (0

I smile back at her. “It’s okay. No worries”

“I see you’ve already ordered” she points out.

“I missed lunch so I was a bit hungry”

She nods her head before making her order. When that’s done, she turns and faces me. Giving me

her full attention.

O

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“So tell me, how did your date with Ethan go?”

lot to me in the short time we’ve known each other. She is the best friend I never knew I needed. The one I never got

well” I tell

and a grin

isn’t much to tell, Letty. We went to dinner at this fancy restaurant and then he took me out for ice cream. Which was my favorite part of

excitement was

I said to her

could tell he wanted to, but he didn’t. I don’t know whether I

“Why?”

kissed by someone who actually wants me, but the other part was glad he didn’t

ready for that yet”

and just stares at me. I see the wheels in

I just told

that Rowan has never kissed you?”

not like he meant it. I saw him kiss Emma when we were younger. It was

the taste of her lips on his. Like he could do it over and

I take a breath. “He has never kissed me like

don’t want her to see my shame. This is the

my marriage to Rowan in my heart for

to know just how much his actions destroyed

like that last Friday” that same

just a fluke. It didn’t mean anything. Besides it can’t erase all the times I

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as he could, and that always hurt me like you wouldn’t believe That my husband found me so unattractive that

kissed like the world is going to end in the next minute” Letty’s words pull me out of my head. She has my hand

at me with pity or sympathy That was

from that, everything else was perfect?”

see Rowan and Emma though

“You’re serious?”

answer taking a sip of my drink Trying to forget how perfect they looked

made sense Everyone saw

to see it now,

and I hope it sinks in that he let

beauty”

laugh. I told you Letty was good for my ego For once

with how beautiful Emma was Finally, someone

her beauty in my

else interesting

shake my

I stop myself. Don’t get me

up and say things

Emma ever finding out that Rowan came

that he kissed

conversation flows easily, but I noticed that something was eating

her.

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