Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

33. Drowning my pain

My phone rings for the hundredth time today. Letty’s name flashes but just like those other times,

I ignore her calls. She’s been trying to call me since yesterday.

I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to talk to her. She was still connected to the world and people I

wanted to stay away from. That left me at crossroads. 1

“Give me another” I ask the bartender immediately after my phone stops ringing.

Today was my birthday and this is how I was celebrating it. Alone in a bar, drinking some fruity kind of concoction, still hurting from Rowan’s vile words.

I’ve tried so much to push those thoughts away. I’ve tried harder to forget every word he threw at me, but it’s hard. They’re imprinted in my damn head like a fucking tattoo.

We’ve been married for years, yet it never crossed my mind that he thought of me as nothing but a slut. That he was using me as a substitute for Emma in bed. My heart has broken over and over again since that day at my house.

I should have been surprised that he chose to believe every single word Emma said but I’m not. It’s typical of him to believe everyone except the woman he has lived with for nine fucking years.

Whoever said that words hurts more than punches was right. This time I fear that Rowan might have broken me beyond repair.

“Here” the cute bartender tells me.

He looks at me in sympathy, probably knowing that I was here to drown my sorrows. He must have seen this kind of thing thousands of time.

I take the drink from him, while avoiding his eyes. I didn’t need his sympathy. What I need is a new brain. A a new heart that isn’t tainted by pain and heartbreak. A soul unmarked by Rowan’s cruelty.

If I knew this was the future that awaited me years back, I would have ran for the hills. If I knew loving Rowan would destroy me in this manner, I would have flee to another continent, hell, another planet, just to escape him.

I wish I could smack some sense into my younger self. Maybe then I could have avoided all this heart ache

+15 BONUS

my drink, I stare into nothing. My mind completely lost. I wasn’t drunk yet but I was starting to feel

off was going to give me that

my drink and look to the dance floor. There were people dancing. I haven’t danced in such a long time. I wanted to let loose. After all, today

close my eyes and let the music take over. I start to move to the beat. Feeling my problems start to fade for a little bit. Here in this moment I could pretend that I was okay. That

up behind me to dance, I still don’t open my eyes, even when I’m grinding

get me to come with them, but I decline. I ignore them and eventually they give up and

open my eyes and head to the bar. I sit down on the barstool and

to ignore it, thinking it was Letty, but

decided to

frown because my voice was a little

okay? Would you mind telling me why Letty woke me up completely out of her mind with worry saying she hasn’t been able to reach you since yesterday?” he

She had insisted on having it the first day I went out with

I just don’t want to talk to her right now”

music wasn’t too loud but it was loud all the same.

asks just as someone screams that the music playing was their favorite

“Sort of”

+15 BONUS

“Are you drunk?”

though I was planning to drink myself to oblivion this

you have

was coming out to play and I liked that. I also liked that he was concerned about how I would

plan to

Give me ten minutes”

that. Deciding that

the back of my mind. Today was all

next to mine. I look up and I’m surprised to find

are you here?” I ask in

in ten when we talked, don’t

a dream. Still unable