Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

34. The past

Nine years ago.

My phones pings with a new notification waking me up from yet another restless sleep. For some reason, I haven’t been able to sleep well for the past two years.

Part of me thinks it’s because of Rowan. That my heart and head aren’t at peace because he isn’t near me anymore. My restlessness started when he joined university two years ago. During the time he’s away at Uni, I rarely sleep but when he’s home for the breaks, I sleep like a baby.

Groaning at yet another night without sleep, I wake up and check my phone. I’m surprised but it quickly turns to happiness when I see what the notification is.

I paid someone money to install an app that lets me track Rowan every time he’s around. Right now it just notified me that he was home.

Jumping out of bed, I get dressed quickly. He was probably back with Emma or maybe Travis or Gabe, but I didn’t mind. I just wanted to see him even if it’s from a far.

Once I’m done getting ready, I sneak out through my bedroom window. I had the furthest room in the house. It’s nearly Impossible for my parents or the maids to hear me leaving.

I get safely down and begin walking. Taking my phone out, I order an Uber.

“This is a terrible idea!” a voice niggles in my sub–consciousness

I ignore it. My head is already swimming with visions of my Rowan. I haven’t seen him in months and my eyes were dying to feast on him.

“Ava, go back home. You’re making a mistake” the voice continues shouting.

I stop in my tracks. That isn’t right. Nothing about Rowan would ever be a mistake. Cementing that in my head, I push all other thoughts to the back of my mind.

Minutes later, my ride arrives.

“Please, Ava, turn back” the damn voice pleads with me just as I am getting into the car.

I feel torn. Like I was fighting against my own mind and body. Finally I manage to push the thought aside and get inside the car.

+15 BONUS

I should have listened to its warning.

Another thirty minutes, we arrive at a bar. I pay the guy and get out. I stare at the dingy place

wondering what the hell Rowan was doing here. This wasn’t his kind of scene. 1

Squaring my shoulders, I walk towards it and manage to get in using a fake ID. Quickly, I walk to a hidden spot and survey the place looking for him. I locate him within seconds, surprised to find

he was alone.

I stay hidden for a while. Waiting to see if any of the others will arrive but none of them do. He was here alone.

“You’ve feasted your eyes, now let’s leave” damn that stupid voice.

I ignore it completely. This might be my chance to get him to notice me. Now that he was here alone and Emma wasn’t by his side.

I take a deep breath and walk the short distance to him.

“Hey Rowan” I greet shyly.

He turns and gives me a blinding smile. Catching me off guard. We rarely talk and he has always gone to great lengths to ignore and avoid me, so the smile catches me off guard.

“It’s little Ava” he shouts. “How are you doing?” he asks.

It’s then I realize he was completely drunk. That was the only reason he looked so happy and receptive towards me.

I take the chair next to him. Immediately he orders me a drink. I take my first taste and it was disgusting. I have never drank in my life but I force myself to do it.

“So how’s school?” I ask, feeling myself relax little by little.

He smirks and nudges my shoulder. “Is that really what you want to ask me?”

“No, I want to ask what you’re doing here drinking alone but I didn’t want to come off as rude.”

He sways in his seat as he leans forward. “Aren’t you sweet” he says then goes back to drinking.

“Are you okay?” I ask in concern. He wasn’t acting like his normal self

fie ignores me and continues drinking. I continue drinking too and just keep it Watína ř

+15 BONUS

I should have listened to its warning.

Another thirty minutes, we arrive at a bar. I pay the guy and get out. I stare at the dingy place

wondering what the hell Rowan was doing here. This wasn’t his kind of scene.

Squaring my shoulders, I walk towards it and manage to get in using a fake ID. Quickly, I walk to a hidden spot and survey the place looking for him. I locate him within seconds, surprised to find

he was alone.

hidden for a while. Waiting to see if any of the others will arrive but none of them do.

here alone.

now let’s leave” damn

my chance to get him to

and Emma wasn’t

breath and walk the short distance

I

me off guard. We rarely talk and he has always gone to great lengths to ignore and

shouts. “How are you doing?” he

he was completely drunk. That was the only reason he looked so

receptive towards me.

him. Immediately he orders me a drink. I

I have never drank in my life but I force

how’s school?” I ask, feeling

nudges my shoulder. “Is that really what you want

what you’re doing here drinking alone but I didn’t

sways in his seat as he leans forward. “Aren’t you sweet” he says then goes back to

you okay?” I ask in concem. He wasn’t acting like

drinking too and just keep quiet Waiting

+15 BONUS

marry me” he says after a

at him. I was already feeling

“Who? Emma?”

the ring and I proposed. I

knee. I did everything

he had asked her to marry

it down.

said that she wasn’t ready. That she wants to focus on school

ask, his

what to say. Part of me was glad

could see that it was tearing him

awesome Rowan. If she doesn’t want to marry you then that’s her loss. I say

do so much better” I raise my drink

“You’re right, fuck her” he slurs as he clinks

glasses.

know for how long we stay there. We talk, dance and drink. By

him more

I share his hotel room and I agree. I couldn’t go home drunk.

I could barely

and a few

closes behind us, he is on me. Kissing me and touching me. He

off until I’m left in nothing but my

so long” he slurs,

too..are you sure you want this? You want me?”

I was

“Definitely”

+15 BONUS

his touch, his kisses and his love. It

he groaned her name as

drift into nothingness, I can’t help but think that something was wrong. He just wouldn’t confuse me with my

panicked

up in bed wondering what the hell was happening, and why Rowan was in

when I see him pacing the room shirtless. It’s then I realize that I was

scramble to get out of bed. Holding the

I start chanting. Fear and panic gripping

me. They’re burning with rage and hatred. I try to think back

blurry. What I thought was a damn dream was

the hell are you doing in my hotel room?” Rowan asks

anger lacing his voice.

words refuse to leave

mess but also because I didn’t know what to

that I had an app that tracks his movement when

to sleep with

up my clothes. My hands trembling. The fact that

proved that last night wasn’t a dream. I had

one she planned on having a

question” he shouts, throwing a lamp against the

you at a bar and we started drinking,

bits and pieces.

all over his face. Rowan loved Emma and because of

just lose her

+15 BONUS

been after me since I was twelve. I go

conveniently there?” he growls, firing those

my clothes as best as I can

motioning to

who was drunk, Rowan”

but I hadn’t planned on getting