Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

34. The past

Nine years ago.

My phones pings with a new notification waking me up from yet another restless sleep. For some reason, I haven’t been able to sleep well for the past two years.

Part of me thinks it’s because of Rowan. That my heart and head aren’t at peace because he isn’t near me anymore. My restlessness started when he joined university two years ago. During the time he’s away at Uni, I rarely sleep but when he’s home for the breaks, I sleep like a baby.

Groaning at yet another night without sleep, I wake up and check my phone. I’m surprised but it quickly turns to happiness when I see what the notification is.

I paid someone money to install an app that lets me track Rowan every time he’s around. Right now it just notified me that he was home.

Jumping out of bed, I get dressed quickly. He was probably back with Emma or maybe Travis or Gabe, but I didn’t mind. I just wanted to see him even if it’s from a far.

Once I’m done getting ready, I sneak out through my bedroom window. I had the furthest room in the house. It’s nearly Impossible for my parents or the maids to hear me leaving.

I get safely down and begin walking. Taking my phone out, I order an Uber.

“This is a terrible idea!” a voice niggles in my sub–consciousness

I ignore it. My head is already swimming with visions of my Rowan. I haven’t seen him in months and my eyes were dying to feast on him.

“Ava, go back home. You’re making a mistake” the voice continues shouting.

I stop in my tracks. That isn’t right. Nothing about Rowan would ever be a mistake. Cementing that in my head, I push all other thoughts to the back of my mind.

Minutes later, my ride arrives.

“Please, Ava, turn back” the damn voice pleads with me just as I am getting into the car.

I feel torn. Like I was fighting against my own mind and body. Finally I manage to push the thought aside and get inside the car.

+15 BONUS

I should have listened to its warning.

Another thirty minutes, we arrive at a bar. I pay the guy and get out. I stare at the dingy place

wondering what the hell Rowan was doing here. This wasn’t his kind of scene. 1

Squaring my shoulders, I walk towards it and manage to get in using a fake ID. Quickly, I walk to a hidden spot and survey the place looking for him. I locate him within seconds, surprised to find

he was alone.

I stay hidden for a while. Waiting to see if any of the others will arrive but none of them do. He was here alone.

“You’ve feasted your eyes, now let’s leave” damn that stupid voice.

I ignore it completely. This might be my chance to get him to notice me. Now that he was here alone and Emma wasn’t by his side.

I take a deep breath and walk the short distance to him.

“Hey Rowan” I greet shyly.

He turns and gives me a blinding smile. Catching me off guard. We rarely talk and he has always gone to great lengths to ignore and avoid me, so the smile catches me off guard.

“It’s little Ava” he shouts. “How are you doing?” he asks.

It’s then I realize he was completely drunk. That was the only reason he looked so happy and receptive towards me.

I take the chair next to him. Immediately he orders me a drink. I take my first taste and it was disgusting. I have never drank in my life but I force myself to do it.

“So how’s school?” I ask, feeling myself relax little by little.

He smirks and nudges my shoulder. “Is that really what you want to ask me?”

“No, I want to ask what you’re doing here drinking alone but I didn’t want to come off as rude.”

He sways in his seat as he leans forward. “Aren’t you sweet” he says then goes back to drinking.

“Are you okay?” I ask in concern. He wasn’t acting like his normal self

fie ignores me and continues drinking. I continue drinking too and just keep it Watína ř

+15 BONUS

I should have listened to its warning.

Another thirty minutes, we arrive at a bar. I pay the guy and get out. I stare at the dingy place

wondering what the hell Rowan was doing here. This wasn’t his kind of scene.

Squaring my shoulders, I walk towards it and manage to get in using a fake ID. Quickly, I walk to a hidden spot and survey the place looking for him. I locate him within seconds, surprised to find

he was alone.

stay hidden for a while. Waiting to see if any of the others will arrive but none of them

here alone.

your eyes, now let’s leave” damn that stupid

my chance to get him to notice

Emma wasn’t

and walk the short distance to

I

a blinding smile. Catching me off guard. We rarely talk and he has always gone

shouts. “How are you

then I realize he was completely drunk. That

receptive towards me.

me a

life

how’s school?” I ask, feeling myself

“Is that really what

what you’re doing here drinking alone but I didn’t want

he leans forward. “Aren’t you sweet” he says then goes back

in concem.

ignores me and continues drinking, I continue drinking too and

+15 BONUS

want to marry me”

him. I was already feeling a kind

“Who? Emma?”

I asked her to marry me. I had the ring and I proposed. I even took her to a

down on one knee. I did everything right but she still turned

him in shock. Unable to believe that he had asked her to marry him. I’m hurt, but I

it down.

she wants to focus on

she love me?” he ask, his voice

know what to say. Part of me was glad she turned him down, while

could see that it was tearing him

awesome Rowan. If she doesn’t want to marry you then that’s

do so much better” I

me for a while before smiling. “You’re right, fuck her” he slurs as he clinks

glasses.

how long we stay there. We talk, dance and

drunk, him more so

share his hotel room and I agree. I couldn’t go home drunk. My

I could

calls a cab and a few minutes later we are

on me. Kissing me and touching me.

until I’m left in

waiting for this for so

you sure you want this? You

be true. That I was

“Definitely”

+15 BONUS

the bed. Everything is a blur. I feel his touch, his kisses and his love. It

groaned her name as

think that something was wrong. He just wouldn’t confuse

the familiar panicked voice wakes

eyes and sit up in bed wondering what the hell was happening, and why Rowan

pacing the room shirtless. It’s then I realize that

to get out of bed. Holding the sheets tightly

chanting. Fear and

and hatred.

blurry. What I

what the hell are you doing in my hotel room?” Rowan

anger lacing his voice.

words refuse to leave my

a mess but also because I didn’t know what to explain things. How do I

that tracks his movement when he’s in town? How

sleep with him?

trembling. The fact that I was sore and winced

I had slept with my sister’s boyfriend. The

one she planned

question” he shouts, throwing a lamp against the

found you at a bar and we started drinking, that’s all I remember” I lie

bits and pieces.

was written all over his face. Rowan loved Emma

just lose her

+15 BONUS

You have been after me since I was twelve.

he

my clothes as best as I can without flashing him my

think I planned all this?” I asks motioning to the room

was drunk, Rowan” I

but I hadn’t