Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

36. His remedy

Present day.

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L

“So you see, they have a reason to hate me…I ruined their love” I mutter as tears fill my eyes.

It’s always painful for me to go down memory lane. I was naïve and foolish. Thinking that I could

ake him love me after I literally ruined his life. Nine years later and I’m still paying the price for

loving Rowan Woods.

“It wasn’t your fault?” Ethan asks me, his fingers slowly caressing mine.

“It was. I let my obsession with him take center stage and because of that I made the biggest

mistake of my life” the tears fall freely now.

If only I could go back in time. If only I could change things. I’ve lived my life in regret. I wish I

had listened to that nagging voice in my head. I wish I had payed attention to it instead of

ignoring it. It would have saved me from so much heartache and pain.

Hell, I wish I had realized earlier that I was pregnant. I could have escaped earlier. I would have

left and never told Rowan that I was pregnant with his child. No one would have been the wiser. I know it sounds downright evil but looking back now it would have saved Noah from seeing Rowan

I fight all the

place where no one knew me. A place so far away from my family

would have just been

“Ava?”

I ask as a response. I

were also drunk, so if they were blaming you, they should have blamed him too”

look at him with round

I ask him in

was drunk. They all thought I was malicious and I

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eyes seer into me. As if he was trying

blame. That I wasn’t drunk at all, that sometimes I believe that’s exactly what happened. Everyone has pounded it in me,

that I took advantage of his drunken state that sometimes I doubt the events of my own

memory is faulty. I mean if everyone says I’m guilty

punishment. That God was punishing me for wanting and sleeping with a man that didn’t belong to

to people’s words when the keep forcing their truth and beliefs down your throat. That’s what happened with me. Soon after I started believing them. Believing that I was a fault. Believing

aches when I think of everything they put me through, Rowan especially. That a man you love could destroy you leaves you wondering if there’s truly any good in the

of that mistake is Noah. I would never regret my son. He was the one that saved.

so tired of the constant pain, the constant hate that I thought of it. I knew that Rowan would take good

I realized what leaving Noah would mean. I didn’t want him to think I was weak. Most especially I didn’t want Emma as his step mother. I knew Rowan would get back together with her and I was afraid she would transfer her hate

she spewed at me concerning Noah, I’m glad that

to blame, Never. You were both drunk so no one was to blame. You parents should have been ashamed for placing the entire blame on an eighteen year old girl. Rowan should have taken responsibility for his

the one

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gave you alcohol knowing that you weren’t supposed to be drinking” he pulls his hand from mine and runs it through his hair. “The more I know about Rowan and your

I was beginning to

on” he says then

going?” I

longer. I didn’t want

don’t like seeing you trying to drown your sorrows” he

floor and out of the bar. I shiver from