Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

36. His remedy

Present day.

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L

“So you see, they have a reason to hate me…I ruined their love” I mutter as tears fill my eyes.

It’s always painful for me to go down memory lane. I was naïve and foolish. Thinking that I could

ake him love me after I literally ruined his life. Nine years later and I’m still paying the price for

loving Rowan Woods.

“It wasn’t your fault?” Ethan asks me, his fingers slowly caressing mine.

“It was. I let my obsession with him take center stage and because of that I made the biggest

mistake of my life” the tears fall freely now.

If only I could go back in time. If only I could change things. I’ve lived my life in regret. I wish I

had listened to that nagging voice in my head. I wish I had payed attention to it instead of

ignoring it. It would have saved me from so much heartache and pain.

Hell, I wish I had realized earlier that I was pregnant. I could have escaped earlier. I would have

left and never told Rowan that I was pregnant with his child. No one would have been the wiser. I know it sounds downright evil but looking back now it would have saved Noah from seeing Rowan

I fight all the

so far away from my family and Rowan. A place no one knew them. I’m sure they wouldn’t even have bothered looking

have just been fine

“Ava?”

response. I had gotten lost in thought

drunk, so if they were blaming you, they should have blamed him too” he gives me a reassuring

at him

I ask

and I mean no one has ever believed that I was drunk. They all thought

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course I do, don’t you believe you’re also innocent?” his blue eyes seer into

got so tired of hearing that I was to blame. That I wasn’t drunk at all, that sometimes I believe that’s exactly what happened. Everyone has pounded it in me,

of his drunken state that sometimes I doubt the events of my own memory”

my memory is faulty. I mean if everyone says I’m guilty isn’t that the

pain I went through at Rowan’s hand was my punishment. That God was punishing me for wanting and sleeping with a

get used to people’s words when the keep forcing their truth and beliefs down your throat. That’s what happened with me. Soon after I started believing them. Believing that I was a fault.

Rowan especially. That a man you love could destroy you leaves you

regret my son. He was the one that saved. He was anchor during the times when I wanted to end it all. During the times when I felt so alone I

was so tired of the constant pain, the constant hate that I thought of it. I knew that Rowan would take good care of him. He fell in love with Noah the

want Emma as his step mother. I

words she spewed at me concerning Noah, I’m glad that I had chosen to stay strong I wasn’t going to let her

ashamed for placing the entire blame on an eighteen year old girl. Rowan should have taken responsibility for his actions instead of allowing all the blame to

the one that sought

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drinking” he pulls his hand from mine and runs it through his hair. “The more I know about Rowan and your family, the

anything. After all, I was

he says then helps

are we going?” I ask

wanted to stay a little bit longer. I didn’t

you trying

say anything before he’s pulling me across the dance floor and out of the bar. I shiver from the chill. He removes his