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04 So

  1. A note

The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up

immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month

milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make

sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be

born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later,

but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let

him kiss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to take it

further. I can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little

bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t

you think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out

of the mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop

thinking about the

why the hell did this kiss affect me

fucking get

in frustration, wishing I could erase the feel of

got you so frustrated?” Calvin’s voice startles me so much that

holding.

living day lights out of me,” I say with my hand

beating heart.

thought you heard us, given

munching on the cookies that

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okay, I was just a

face. “Are you still thinking about what happened yesterday

lie, but he didn’t

different thing.

making for

fry up” I

his fist up in the air. “I love

food at

that he is happy. I’m hoping that one day Emma will see the error of her ways and mend her fences

almost done?” Noah

I’ll be done. Why don’t

I finish up?”

time, before rushing

me and proceeds to clean up the mess I’d

breakfast when we should have given you more

that they wanted your

that. It’s not that Calvin was a bad cook. He just didn’t make it like I did. Their

mine.

finished cooking and brought some over anyway, so it’s not

get back to frying the

holding up, all things considered?” I ask

He pauses. “I feel relieved that now everyone knows about Gunner. He’s

shouldn’t be hidden away like a dirty secret.

the two

family. Gunner deserves to know

people worth

safe for Gunner to be around

+15 BONUS

of my resentment towards them. They were no longer part

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