Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

1

04 So

105. A note

The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up

immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month

milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make

sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be

born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later,

but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let

him kiss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to take it

further. I can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little

bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t

you think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out

of the mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop

thinking about the

hell did this

fucking

in frustration, wishing I could erase the feel of his

voice startles me so

holding.

out of me,” I

beating heart.

you heard us, given Gunner and Noah didn’t really get

find them munching on the cookies that I had baked

1/4

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was just a little bit lost in

grin slips from his face. “Are you still thinking about what

was a lie, but he didn’t need to know

different thing.

are you making for

up” I

Gunner pumps his fist up in the air. “I love fry–ups; it’s like having all your

food at

day Emma will see the error of her ways and mend her fences with

Noah

done. Why don’t you go wait

I finish up?”

same time, before

proceeds to clean up the

breakfast when we should have given you more

that they wanted your

cook. He

mine.

and brought some over anyway, so it’s not a big deal,”

I get back to frying

up, all things considered?” I ask

He pauses. “I feel relieved that now everyone knows about Gunner.

he shouldn’t be hidden away like a dirty secret. After my

I didn’t mind it being just the two

his mother had a family. Gunner deserves to know his

worth knowing, but they’d

was safe for Gunner to be

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let go of my resentment towards them. They were no longer part of my life, so it didn’t matter