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04 So

  1. A note

The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up

immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month

milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make

sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be

born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later,

but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let

him kiss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to take it

further. I can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little

bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t

you think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out

of the mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop

thinking about the

sake, why the hell did this kiss affect me so much?

don’t fucking get

I could erase the

Calvin’s voice startles me so much that I let go

holding.

Cal, you scared the living day lights out of me,” I say

beating heart.

“I thought you heard us, given Gunner and Noah didn’t really

to find them munching on the cookies that I had baked

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a little bit

face. “Are you still

just nod my head. It was a lie, but he didn’t need to know

different thing.

are you making for breakfast, mom?”

up”

air. “I love fry–ups; it’s like having

at

at him. So happy that he is happy. I’m hoping that one day Emma will see the error of her ways and mend her fences with Gunner

almost done?” Noah

and I’ll be done. Why don’t you go wait in the living room

I finish up?”

they say at the same time, before

from me and proceeds to

have given you more time to yourself.

that they wanted your

bad cook. He just didn’t make it

mine.

brought some over anyway, so it’s not

him as I get

all things considered?”

“I feel relieved that now everyone knows about Gunner. He’s an

he shouldn’t be hidden away like a dirty secret. After my grandfather died, I had no one

just the two of us, but I knew

mother had a family. Gunner deserves to know his

Travis and Kate weren’t people worth knowing, but

for Gunner

+15 BONUS

towards them. They were no longer part of

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