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04 So

  1. A note

The bright light coming through my window makes me open my eyes. Instead of getting up

immediately, I just stay in bed for a while as I rub my belly and feel my baby move inside me.

I look at the calendar on my bedside table and realize that today I just hit the sixth–month

milestone. It’s scary to have a baby. The whole journey is filled with uncertainty. I always make

sure to thank God each time I pass a milestone with my baby, knowing not all babies get to be

born.

After saying a small thank–you prayer, I get up and move downstairs. I could always shower later,

but right now I am hungry. With everything that happened yesterday, I forgot to eat.

Thinking about yesterday brings me to what happened with Rowan. I still can’t believe that I let

him kiss me or that I actually enjoyed it.

It bugs me so much that I wanted more. I wanted him to deepen the kiss. I wanted him to take it

further. I can blame it on the hormones, but we all know that I’d be lying to myself.

Rowan hurt me so much. The fact that I wanted him yesterday makes me hate myself just a little

bit. I promised myself to move on, yet there I was making out with him in my living room.

I want to believe that Rowan has changed, but I just can’t. Even if, by some miracle, he has, don’t

you think it’s a little too late for us? Too much has already happened for us to make something out

of the mess he created.

Taking out the ingredients for breakfast, I get to work. No matter what I try, I still can’t stop

thinking about the

why the hell did this kiss affect

don’t fucking

could erase

Calvin’s voice startles me so much that I let

holding.

lights out of me,” I say with my hand pressing hard on

beating heart.

he grins. “I thought you heard us, given Gunner and Noah didn’t really

find them munching on the cookies that

1/4

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a

his face. “Are you still thinking about what

head. It was a lie, but he didn’t need to know that I was

different thing.

are you making for breakfast,

up”

fist up in the air. “I

food at

hoping that one day Emma will

Noah asks.

Just a few more minutes, and I’ll be done. Why don’t you go wait in the living

I finish up?”

they say at the same time, before rushing to

from me and proceeds to

here for breakfast when we should have given you

that they

not that Calvin was a bad cook. He just didn’t make it like I did.

mine.

and brought some over

I get back to

up, all

now everyone knows about Gunner. He’s an

he shouldn’t be hidden away like a dirty secret. After my grandfather died, I had

two of us, but I knew it was unfair to

had a family. Gunner deserves to know

eyes, Travis and Kate weren’t people worth knowing, but they’d treated Noah well, so I

safe for Gunner to be around

+15 BONUS

were no longer part

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