Ex-Husband’s Regret by Evelyn M.M

Chapter 0490

Mia's words still continued to ring in my head even as I headed for my car. The truth had been brutal. It wasn't easy to swallow the bitter pill, but swallow it I must.

Instead of peeling out of the parking lot like I usually do, I just sit in my car and allow the tears to fall. I couldn't stop them even if I wanted to. The space fills with the sounds of my cries. My sobs are torn from deep within as the weight of all my actions crash me.

My head falls against the steering wheel because I can no longer hold it up. I wore my shame like a second skin. It was embedded deep inside me like a fucking tattoo.

Why did I let it get that far? Why did I hurt him like that? Why did I allow my selfishness to taint the bond I could have had with Gunner?

Why. Why. Why?

If I knew one day I would long to hold Gunner in my arms. To be in his life. To have him call me mom. I would have held on to him like he was a lifeline... But that's the thing about hindsight. It's a bitch.

My lips tremble as I sob. Guilt racks my body, jolting me as if I've been electrocuted. I want to scream. I want to hit something. I want to curl up in a ball and just die. It hurts. It fucking hurts and I don't know how to stop the pain.

not sure how long I stay there crying, but when I'm calmer,

been crying my eyes out for the last couple

up so badly? Where do I even begin? It would be easier if it had

first word. His first walk. His first day of school. His first time saying mommy. I

of how I could have handled things differently. I regret a lot of things, but my biggest regret

trouble. I was

I should give up on

of the house

expected," mom's warm voice

old, but at this moment, I feel

easy" she whispers while smoothing

tighter. I thought that my tears had finally dried, but

Once there, she pushes us down on it, before pulling my head down. I ball up in a fetal position, with my