Chapter 0505

I pick up the last box and glance around my room. This room has been my sanctuary for the last two years.

It had been my room when I was still a small girl, but over the years I changed it as I grew to become a woman. The décor, the paint and the furniture. I changed everything to fit the woman I became.

This is the room I cried in when I first leamed that Rowan had slept with Ava... Years later, in this same room, I licked my wounds after realizing all the pain and hurt I caused.

It became my source of comfort. The one place I could run and hide. The one place I could break down with no one to witness me unravel. If the walls could talk, they'd say just how much they witnessed. The secrets I hid. The terrifying thoughts of ending it all.

Now though, I was leaving it behind. I know that I'll still be sleeping here on the occasions I spend the night at home, but for some reason it felt like I was saying goodbye to it. There was a kind of finality. As if finally, I was letting go of the memories from the last two years. It felt like I was ending a chapter.

"Are you ready?" Travis's voice breaks through my thoughts.

My eyes shift briefly to him before going back to my room. Maybe when I am more emotionally stable, I'll find time and come to change the décor again. This way I can get rid of the memories that were etched on the walls. You know, give the room a brand-new start because we both need it.

"Yes," I finally whisper.

Like I said, it feels weird. This is my home. This will always be my room no matter what... but it feels like I am saying goodbye to it.

I turn my back on it. Travis takes the box from me and walks out. I don't look behind me again, instead I follow him. We walk in silence until we get downstairs.

edge of her eyes. It's as if they stubbornly refused to fall down. "Mom," I walk to her and pull her

feels like you are leaving home for college all over again. I remember when we first had to

since he died. I still think of him. I still love him. That will

whisper, my voice thick with

and squeezes it. "We all do, but I am sure he's watching over

head and squeeze

you ready for this?" Travis comes to stand

I twiddle my thumb. "Not by a long shot, but I have to do this. I have to make

"You are right."

A bit jealous,

my mom beams with excitement.

This is a huge step for me. I am nervous and excited at

with me in the passenger seat and mom in the back.

a chance too." There is longing in his voice. I know how he feels. Our situations are different but similar at the same time. We've both done hurtful things to people we thought we didn't care about. By the time it hit us, it was already

lost in my own guilt and misery, but I know Travis longs to have a relationship with Ava. He once told me that it kills him to know that Ava forgave Rowan and the entire Wood family, but she hasn't forgiven him and won't let him be a part of her life. She only allows him access to

"She came to visit us a couple of weeks ago. She

I doubt she'll ever will." His voice catches as

to ease his pain. I want to help him, but I know I can't. All I can do is make him

know, I've talked a lot with Mia. One thing she told me was not to expect forgiveness instantly. Some take years before they are ready to forgive. She told me if I really cared for Gunner and Calvin, then I should be patient with them. Pushing and trying to

knew the answer, but I had

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