The first thing I do once Kas unwraps herself from around me is go into the closet and put my gun back in its lockbox before I bury the box back into the bottom of the trunk. If at all possible, I never want to see it again.

Once I get out of my tac gear, I get in the shower. I only use hot water, letting it turn my skin red and raw. I’m not sure how long! stand there. It doesn’t matter. I just let my brain shut down and let the water cleanse me. Ironic to have a wolf named Saint when we feel like we are anything but.

 

I finally feel a little better, so I go to the closet and put on sweats. I sit on the floor and dial my therapist, making an appointment for the next day. When I come out of the bedroom, I smell chicken cooking and Kas Is sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. I pull my mate close to me and just breathe her in. I instantly feel more calm. So does Saint.

 

“Sweetheart, what do you say we let Saint and Lex go for a run?” Kas suggests as she runs her fingers through my hair, “They could use some time together, yeah?”

 

“Yes, let me spend time with my mate, please. I behaved myself the last four days. I deserve some time with her,” Saint sighs. He has been well behaved the last four days. There were plenty of times where he and I could have completely lost our shit, but we held it together.

 

“That sounds good, Baby, but I have one thing I need to do before we shift. Give me a minute then we can head out to the woods,” I give her a quick kiss and go back into the closet pulling all my gear into a bag. I grab the pack of cigarettes out of my pocket. There is one left. I tuck it behind my ear and put the lighter in my pocket.

 

“Bronx. Is this really a good time to do this?” Saint asks. He sounds a bit nervous.

 

“Yeah, man. I promised Kas and besides, we both know I! can’t do this anymore,” I sigh, “Too many people count on me.”

 

“Alright. You're gonna really go through with this, huh?” Saint shakes his head.

“Yeah. It’s time, buddy.”

 

I pick up the bag with my gear and head out to the woods with Kas.

 

“Come on Baby, let’s go to the back of the meadow,” I take Kas’s hand and we walk to the farthest area from the

packhouse that is not wooded. We come to an old fire pit. I take my bag and throw it in the middle.

 

the bag, Bronx?”

 

Baby. It’s forever in the past now. You're my future,

 

last cigarette. Then I take the lighter and hold it against the bag until it catches fire. I throw the lighter on top of the bag. I finish the cigarette and throw the butt onto the top of the

 

asks when she feels

 

yeah,” I smile, “Come on, let's let Saint and

 

time together until well after midnight

 

to the hallway on the fifth floor,

 

alright, Delilah?” Kas asked,

 

help you sleep tonight, if you would like? Itisa concentrated version of melatonin. Beta Milo mentioned sometimes you have trouble sleeping after...um, working with Gamma Reggie. Kas, I have one for you as

 

off, but I can’t put my finger on

 

I take the vial from her and

Kas.

 

Kas’s POV

 

requested she spend more time with me while he was gone which I really appreciated. James must have told her Bronx

 

the apartment. I open the little bottle and sniff it. There is a

 

up, I guess,” I shrug. We tap the vials

 

go to bed and intertwine our bodies together. Whatever was in the vials works quick because we

 

kkk

 

such a strong sense of deja vu. What was in that vial

glad whatever she gave him is letting him get a good night's

 

water. I take a few sips of water, trying to remember the dream that made me wake up in such a state. I just can't recall it. My heart is thumping so hard it almost hurts. I hear noises coming from the bedroom. Did I wake Bronx up? I could have

 

here, Sweetheart,” I say softly as I make

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