Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future

Chapter 75

The first thing I do once Kas unwraps herself from around me is go into the closet and put my gun back in its lockbox before I bury the box back into the bottom of the trunk. If at all possible, I never want to see it again.

Once I get out of my tac gear, I get in the shower. I only use hot water, letting it turn my skin red and raw. I’m not sure how long! stand there. It doesn’t matter. I just let my brain shut down and let the water cleanse me. Ironic to have a wolf named Saint when we feel like we are anything but.

 

I finally feel a little better, so I go to the closet and put on sweats. I sit on the floor and dial my therapist, making an appointment for the next day. When I come out of the bedroom, I smell chicken cooking and Kas Is sitting on the sofa reading a magazine. I pull my mate close to me and just breathe her in. I instantly feel more calm. So does Saint.

 

“Sweetheart, what do you say we let Saint and Lex go for a run?” Kas suggests as she runs her fingers through my hair, “They could use some time together, yeah?”

 

“Yes, let me spend time with my mate, please. I behaved myself the last four days. I deserve some time with her,” Saint sighs. He has been well behaved the last four days. There were plenty of times where he and I could have completely lost our shit, but we held it together.

 

“That sounds good, Baby, but I have one thing I need to do before we shift. Give me a minute then we can head out to the woods,” I give her a quick kiss and go back into the closet pulling all my gear into a bag. I grab the pack of cigarettes out of my pocket. There is one left. I tuck it behind my ear and put the lighter in my pocket.

 

“Bronx. Is this really a good time to do this?” Saint asks. He sounds a bit nervous.

 

“Yeah, man. I promised Kas and besides, we both know I! can’t do this anymore,” I sigh, “Too many people count on me.”

 

“Alright. You're gonna really go through with this, huh?” Saint shakes his head.

“Yeah. It’s time, buddy.”

 

I pick up the bag with my gear and head out to the woods with Kas.

 

“Come on Baby, let’s go to the back of the meadow,” I take Kas’s hand and we walk to the farthest area from the

packhouse that is not wooded. We come to an old fire pit. I take my bag and throw it in the middle.

 

bag, Bronx?”

 

in the past now. You're my future, not

 

cigarette. Then I take the lighter and hold it against the bag until it catches fire. I throw the lighter on top of the bag. I finish the cigarette and throw the butt onto the top of the bag and take Kas’s hand. I feel her wrap her arm around me. I pull her in for a hug but never take

 

when she feels me sigh

 

yeah,” I smile, “Come on, let's let Saint

 

Saint and Lex run and spend time together until well after midnight before we made our way back to

 

fifth floor,

 

alright, Delilah?” Kas asked, taking

 

Beta Milo mentioned sometimes you have trouble sleeping after...um, working with Gamma Reggie. Kas, I have one for you as well but it has other herbs in it. You should take it when Alpha Bronx takes his, it will

 

but I can’t

 

vial from her and head

Kas.

 

Kas’s POV

 

at work. I know Bronx had requested she spend more time with me while he was gone which I really appreciated. James

 

the little bottle and sniff it.

 

up, I guess,” I shrug. We tap the vials together and drink

 

me into the bathroom so we can get a shower before we go to bed and intertwine our bodies together. Whatever was in the vials

 

kkk

 

sweat, panting heavily. I think I had a dream but I can't remember what it was about. I have such a strong sense of deja vu. What was in that

glad whatever she gave him is letting him get a good night's sleep. He seemed so stressed when he

 

kitchen for a cup of water. I take a few sips of water, trying to remember the dream that made me wake up in such a state. I just can't recall it. My heart

 

softly as I

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