Anyhow, he was undoubtedly a strange man.

 

Despite the way Cesare obsessed over me and clung to me, he didn’t show the slightest hesitation using me as a pawn in his political schemes. For all I know, maybe he just thought of me as another one of his objects.

 

Three years ago, when I’d just gotten accustomed to the fact that I’d become fifteen year-old Rudbeckia, I made the mistake of refusing my arranged marriage to the Duke of Rembrandt.

 

With the foreknowledge that the duke would later become a key figure in the demise of my family, I invalidated our marriage right before the wedding was scheduled to happen using the humiliating pretense of ‘bodily incompatibility’.

 

I wanted to do whatever I could to protect my new family that had treated me so well and stop whatever enemies would later plot against them.

 

But as soon as I expressed my unwillingness to marry him, Father’s usual warm expression morphed into an ice-cold frown that made my body tremble with fear in a way I was all too familiar with. That night I was locked in my room and beaten by Cesare until I nearly passed out from pain.

 

It was after those events repeated themselves a couple times that I realized there was no difference between my old and new life. Maybe, in part, that was also because I knew that Rudbeckia wasn’t actually the pope’s biological daughter.

 

Rudbeckia’s biological mother—my mother—was killed as soon as she gave birth, before the pope met his second official lover, Carmen. Most people around me were already suspicious that I wasn’t the pope’s legitimate child, and, well, since I’d already read the story myself, I knew their suspicions were correct.

 

Putting on a facade and pretending to be family with people that didn’t share a drop of blood with me, it was identical to my previous life. And after I became Rudbeckia, my anorexia manifested itself again as well.

 

“It hurts me to see you go too. This’ll be the last time something like this happens, I promise,” said Cesare.

 

“But I heard it’s dangerous there…”

 

“Dangerous? You’ll be guarded around-the-clock by a legion of elite knights, you have nothing to worry about. I’ll try to come visit you as often as I can too. It won’t be that bad, every place has something to like about it. Just think of it as a six-month-long vacation.”

 

“Six months? It’s really going to be six months?”

 

I already knew exactly how long it was going to be but I pretended to be surprised anyway.

 

He chuckled and wrapped a lock of my hair around his finger, pulling it up to his nose.

 

“Yeah, you just have to make it six months. He won’t do anything to you regardless, so you don’t need to worry.”

 

That wasn’t what I was worried about.

 

“You’ll really come visit me often?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

I prayed that he wouldn’t.

 

to not kill me was going to be difficult enough as it was. Even if I refused to poison his little sister, someone else would be hired

 

convincing my husband and the other people around me, all of whom passionately hated me, that I was harmless—that I was their

 

any different than how I’d been forced to act

 

***

 

Izek van Omerta.

 

fifteen years

 

and celebrated amongst the people, but, because of his stubborn, headstrong personality, he refused every one of

 

van Omerta, and his childhood friend, Flaya van Brianna. If I remember correctly, his standoffish personality was, in large part, due

 

Omerta and gave birth, she ended up killing herself while her children

 

suicide was destined for eternal damnation, so

 

be honest, it was so long since I had read the novel that my memory of a lot of the story was vague at

 

with Rudbeckia wasn’t due to any sort of coercion from his father, it was because Ellenia had been

 

Vatican was struggling to fight off barbarians on their northern border, and, with the added difficulty

 

Britannia’s elite knights—that was the point of these

 

the marriage at dinner, Father worked at lightning speed to prepare the wedding. A huge dowry and an assortment of elaborate gifts

 

***

 

it, but every time I looked in the mirror I was still startled by the

 

eyes were shining blue lakes. Her supple cheeks and tender lips didn’t resemble my original

 

other kids around me, but, funnily enough, there are times now when I miss my

 

said Father with a warm smile,

 

world, a fully-grown adult, but I was still considered and treated like a child in many ways. Like how Cesare would

 

make a wonderful bride, my darling. The North

 

“Father…”

 

to be upset. Don’t cry, my

 

would be the last time we ever saw each other. Of course I cried though, that was part

 

father chuckled seeing my delicate face

 

going to miss you

 

send your brother to accompany you on the trip if

 

the North watch our

 

this bullsh*t! Am I the

 

“Enzo.”

 

here

 

temper and all the mischief he caused, I never felt

 

“I’ll miss you.”

 

I’ll miss you too,

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