Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

THE BABY

JESS

The morning sunlight streamed through the thin hotel curtains, casting long streaks of gold across the room, but that's not what woke me up because I wasn't sleeping. The entire night, I lay awake thinking about what could have happened and where he could be. Somewhere, deep down, I knew he was alive, and so was Josh.

They had to be.

I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at my hands, my fingers absentmindedly tracing the faint curve of my belly. I couldn't hide it anymore. I was almost at 3 weeks-and I felt it. Felt him. or her, a tiny heartbeat tied irrevocably to Luke. Luke.

The name lingered in my mind, a sharp ache that pulsed with every breath. He was everywhere and nowhere all at once. My hand automatically reached for my phone to text him before I remembered.

In the hollow silence that filled the space where his laugh used. to be.

broke through the fog.

was standing by the window, arms crossed, her sharp green eyes fixed on me with a mix of worry and

me, her knee bumping mine. "You're shutting down again. I get it. I do. But you can't

it," I said quietly, though even I didn't

haven't eaten breakfast, you barely sleep, and you refuse to talk about..." She

Any of it. How am I supposed to " My voice cracked

don't have to figure it all out today. But right now, we need to make sure you're okay. And the baby,

chord, and I bit my lip, staring at the floor. She was right. As much as it hurt as much as I wanted to curl up and pretend the world didn't exist,

"I..." I started, hesitating.

like she knew I'd give in eventually. "Good,

head snapped up.

look at me like that. You've been dragging your feet for weeks, Jess. It's time." She squeezed my hand. "I'll go with you. You don't