Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

Marcello.

I hesitated before opening the message.

Ma chère Jess, it began. Le ciel parisien semble un peu moins lumineux en ton absence.

I frowned, translating the French automatically. The Parisian sky feels a little less bright while you are away.

The message was beautiful, poetic, and... hollow. It felt wrong to read it, like I was betraying Luke by even acknowledging it. I wasn't close to even being remotely ready just to acknowledge that Luke is dead. I was even less ready for whatever Marcello was. I locked the phone without replying and tossed it back onto the bed.

Laura noticed but didn't comment. She simply gave me a knowing look, as if she could read my thoughts and had decided to let it slide-for now.

"Come on," she said, tossing me a loose sweater. "Let's get this over with."

The waiting room was sterile and quiet, the low hum of the air conditioning the only sound as Laura sat beside me, flipping through a magazine she wasn't really reading. I couldn't focus on anything-the words in the magazine, the ticking of the clock. on the wall, nothing. My mind was a whirlpool of questions and fears I wasn't ready to face.

up quickly, my legs unsteady, but

her down the corridor, each step feeling

escape.

counter

to steady my breathing. Laura stood at my side, her arm lightly

movements, as if he didn't quite know how to approach me. I could see it-the pity in his gaze,

edge of his lips. He wanted to say something, I could feel it, and I hated it. I hated the way he looked

"Please. Don't. I just got here, Doc. Please just make sure she's okay, and the

her throat and pressed on. "Please, just do your job. We're not

body tense, trying to control the rush of emotions that threatened to flood me. My hands were clenched into fists at my sides, and I had

blinked at me as if caught off guard by my words, but Laura was already

with concern. As he moved to prepare the equipment, I closed my

doing this alone-without Luke-was

feel it, and I hated it. I hated