Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

WHERE I AM NOW JOSH PRESENT DAY

The music was too loud, the lights too bright, and the laughter around me grated on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. I sat at the edge of the booth, cradling a glass of whiskey in one hand and swirling it idly as I watched the amber liquid catch the light. My mates were laughing, cracking jokes, and egging each other on like this was just another Friday night.

Maybe for them, it was. For me, it was an escape.

I wasn't here for the camaraderie or the banter. Hell, I wasn't even here for the women strutting past in their skimpy dresses, tossing flirtatious glances at our table. I was here for the burn of the whiskey as it slid down my throat and the hope that it would numb the gnawing ache in my chest.

It wasn't working.

I should've been at home. I should've been reading Asha a bedtime story or at least sitting by her crib, making sure she was okay. Instead, I was here, drowning in self-pity and liquor, trying to forget the life I was supposed to have.

Laura's face flashed in my mind, uninvited and unwanted. I could see her so clearly, her eyes filled with life and her smile lighting up the room. But that wasn't how I remembered her ' most these days. Now, all I could see was her pale face in that hospital bed, motionless except for the rise and fall of her chest as the machines did the work her body couldn't.

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III

11:49

WHERE I AM NOW

228 Vouchers

My phone vibrated on the table, the screen lighting up with Luke's name. Again. I ignored it, flipping the phone over so I wouldn't have to see it. I already knew what he wanted. He'd been calling me out on my bullshit for weeks now, telling me to step up, to be there for Laura, for Asha.

perfect little family. He didn't know what it was

did, a waitress sauntered by, her outfit leaving little to the imagination. Her eyes caught mine, and I grabbed her wrist,

$

I saw them. It didn't matter. She'd bring

guys at the table cheered, raising their glasses as the shots arrived. They were single. They could be here and do this without a second thought. Me? I should've grown out of this phase years ago.

onto.

I went and destroyed

throat, and shoved the thought aside. The night blurred after that-more drinks,

I stumbled back to my

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WHERE I AM NOW!

expression tight. She didn't say anything as I walked through the

could be as

she?" I asked,

the nanny replied curtly. "I left a bottle out for her

leave. The door clicked shut behind

fast asleep in her crib, her tiny chest rising and falling with each breath. She

making sure it was angled just right, and noticed the bottle the nanny had left. I'd have to warm it up

in the corner of her room, I leaned back and closed my eyes. I didn't trust the monitor. I never had. If I wasn't

there, haunting me in my dreams, in the quiet moments when I let my guard down. I hated myself for not going to