Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

WHERE I AM NOW JOSH PRESENT DAY

The music was too loud, the lights too bright, and the laughter around me grated on my nerves like nails on a chalkboard. I sat at the edge of the booth, cradling a glass of whiskey in one hand and swirling it idly as I watched the amber liquid catch the light. My mates were laughing, cracking jokes, and egging each other on like this was just another Friday night.

Maybe for them, it was. For me, it was an escape.

I wasn't here for the camaraderie or the banter. Hell, I wasn't even here for the women strutting past in their skimpy dresses, tossing flirtatious glances at our table. I was here for the burn of the whiskey as it slid down my throat and the hope that it would numb the gnawing ache in my chest.

It wasn't working.

I should've been at home. I should've been reading Asha a bedtime story or at least sitting by her crib, making sure she was okay. Instead, I was here, drowning in self-pity and liquor, trying to forget the life I was supposed to have.

Laura's face flashed in my mind, uninvited and unwanted. I could see her so clearly, her eyes filled with life and her smile lighting up the room. But that wasn't how I remembered her ' most these days. Now, all I could see was her pale face in that hospital bed, motionless except for the rise and fall of her chest as the machines did the work her body couldn't.

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III

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WHERE I AM NOW

228 Vouchers

My phone vibrated on the table, the screen lighting up with Luke's name. Again. I ignored it, flipping the phone over so I wouldn't have to see it. I already knew what he wanted. He'd been calling me out on my bullshit for weeks now, telling me to step up, to be there for Laura, for Asha.

know? He had Jess. He had his perfect little family. He didn't know what it was like to feel like your entire world had been ripped away and replaced with

I did, a waitress sauntered by, her outfit leaving little to the imagination. Her eyes caught mine, and I grabbed her wrist, pulling her toward me. 'Shots," I said, my voice rough. "Bring

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wasn't real. I knew fake smiles when I saw them. It didn't matter. She'd

the shots arrived. They were single. They could be here and do this without a second thought. Me? I should've grown out of this phase years ago. I had grown out of it-when Laura came into my life. When we built

onto.

I went

threw back the shot, letting the alcohol scorch its way down my throat, and shoved

the time I stumbled back to my apartment,

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WHERE I AM NOW!

didn't say anything as I walked through the door,

didn't matter. No one could be as disappointed in me as I

I asked,

curtly. "I left a bottle out for her night

meeting her gaze, and watched her leave. The door clicked shut behind her, and I

Asha's room, I found her fast asleep in her crib, her tiny chest rising and falling with each breath. She looked so peaceful, so innocent, and

noticed the bottle the nanny had left. I'd have

I didn't trust the monitor. I never had. If I wasn't in the room with her, I

But no amount of whiskey could keep Laura from creeping into my mind. She was always there, haunting me in my dreams, in the quiet moments when I let my guard