Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

NEW BEGINNING

JOSH

PRESENT DAY

The hospital halls were too bright. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead as I carried Asha in her car seat, her little rainbow blanket draped over her. She babbled softly, clutching her stuffed elephant, blissfully unaware of the heaviness weighing

on me.

I nodded to the nurses at the palliative long-term care wing as I entered. They gave me small, sympathetic smiles-the kind that cut deeper because they reminded me that this was my reality. This was Laura's reality. Room 308. Laura's room.

I hesitated at the door, glancing down at Asha. "Okay, baby girl," 1 whispered, more to myself than to her. "Let's go see Mommy."

I pushed the door open and stepped into the room. It didn't look like a hospital room anymore, not really. Jess, Luke, and I had spent hours transforming it into something that felt more like home.

Laura's favorite colors-soft greens and blues-adorned the walls in subtle touches, from the curtains to the throw pillows on the small couch in the corner. Her easel stood by the window, angled just so to catch the natural light. The painting she'd been working on before the accident sat there, unfinished but beautiful-a hazy sunset over a calm ocean. 0.00%

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NEW BEGINNING

speakers In the corner softly played the playlist Laura used to paint to-instrumentals,

just asleep. Her dark hair was brushed and braided, and her face still had that same quiet beauty that had always taken my breath

seat on the floor and gently lifted her out. She squirmed in my arms, her tiny

ached as I watched them together-my daughter, full

the bed, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees. The words I'd been rehearsing in

start. I just... I'm sorry. For everything. For not being enough to keep you safe. For not knowing

than you'll ever know. But

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NEW HER

and right now, I'm not doing a very good

myself. "I promise I'll be back for you. I swear, Laura. I just... I need to

I leaned forward, resting my forehead against her hand. "I promise to be the best father I can for Asha. I'll do everything I can to make sure she knows how amazing you are. I'll tell her about how you used to dance in the kitchen, how you could make a masterpiece out of nothing. How you were the best thing

pull myself together, Laura. For you. For

a kiss to her forehead, lingering there as if I could somehow

her tiny hand clutching Laura's shirt. I gently picked her up, cradling her against

moment, looking down at Laura, trying to memorize every detail of her face, the

love you," I whispered one last time,

of the room,

didn't dare look back.

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