Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

NEW BEGINNING

JOSH

PRESENT DAY

The hospital halls were too bright. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead as I carried Asha in her car seat, her little rainbow blanket draped over her. She babbled softly, clutching her stuffed elephant, blissfully unaware of the heaviness weighing

on me.

I nodded to the nurses at the palliative long-term care wing as I entered. They gave me small, sympathetic smiles-the kind that cut deeper because they reminded me that this was my reality. This was Laura's reality. Room 308. Laura's room.

I hesitated at the door, glancing down at Asha. "Okay, baby girl," 1 whispered, more to myself than to her. "Let's go see Mommy."

I pushed the door open and stepped into the room. It didn't look like a hospital room anymore, not really. Jess, Luke, and I had spent hours transforming it into something that felt more like home.

Laura's favorite colors-soft greens and blues-adorned the walls in subtle touches, from the curtains to the throw pillows on the small couch in the corner. Her easel stood by the window, angled just so to catch the natural light. The painting she'd been working on before the accident sat there, unfinished but beautiful-a hazy sunset over a calm ocean. 0.00%

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14:33

NEW BEGINNING

used to paint to-instrumentals, mellow beats,

still had that same quiet beauty

my arms, her

chest ached as I watched them together-my daughter, full of life, and

my knees. The words I'd

rough. I reached out, taking her hand in mine. It was warm but unresponsive. "I... I don't even know where to start. I just... I'm sorry. For everything. For not being enough to keep you safe. For not

voice breaking. "More than you'll ever know. But I... I need time. I need

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14:33

NEW HER

and right now, I'm not doing

be back for you. I swear, Laura. I just... I need to find a way

best father I can for Asha. I'll do everything I can to make sure she knows how amazing you are. I'll tell her about how you used to dance in the kitchen, how you could make a

cracked, and I took a deep, shaky breath. "I'll pull myself together, Laura.

there as if I could

hand clutching Laura's shirt. I gently picked her up, cradling her against

down at Laura, trying to memorize every detail of her face, the way the

whispered one last time, my voice barely

turned and walked out of the room, Asha heavy in

didn't dare look back.

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