Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

NEW BEGINNING

JOSH

PRESENT DAY

The hospital halls were too bright. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead as I carried Asha in her car seat, her little rainbow blanket draped over her. She babbled softly, clutching her stuffed elephant, blissfully unaware of the heaviness weighing

on me.

I nodded to the nurses at the palliative long-term care wing as I entered. They gave me small, sympathetic smiles-the kind that cut deeper because they reminded me that this was my reality. This was Laura's reality. Room 308. Laura's room.

I hesitated at the door, glancing down at Asha. "Okay, baby girl," 1 whispered, more to myself than to her. "Let's go see Mommy."

I pushed the door open and stepped into the room. It didn't look like a hospital room anymore, not really. Jess, Luke, and I had spent hours transforming it into something that felt more like home.

Laura's favorite colors-soft greens and blues-adorned the walls in subtle touches, from the curtains to the throw pillows on the small couch in the corner. Her easel stood by the window, angled just so to catch the natural light. The painting she'd been working on before the accident sat there, unfinished but beautiful-a hazy sunset over a calm ocean. 0.00%

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NEW BEGINNING

speakers In the corner softly played the playlist Laura used to paint to-instrumentals, mellow beats, and the occasional old-school

bed. She looked so peaceful, almost like she was just asleep. Her dark hair was brushed and braided, and her face still

Asha's car seat on the floor and gently lifted her out. She squirmed in my arms, her tiny fingers reaching for me. "Hold on, princess," I murmured, settling her beside Laura

her little hands patting at Laura's arm. My chest ached as I watched them together-my daughter, full of life, and

down in the chair next to the bed, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees. The

started, my voice rough. I reached out, taking her hand in mine. It was warm but unresponsive. "I... I don't even know where to start. I just... I'm sorry. For everything. For not being enough to keep you safe. For not knowing how to handle this." I glanced at Asha, who had started to settle, her head resting against Laura's

I continued, my voice breaking. "More than you'll ever know. But

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NEW HER

not doing a very

hand, trying to steady myself. "I promise I'll be back for you. I swear, Laura. I just... I need to find a way out

resting my forehead against her hand. "I promise to be the best father I can for Asha. I'll do everything I can to make sure she knows how amazing you are. I'll tell her about how you used to dance in the kitchen, how you could make a masterpiece out of

breath. "I'll pull myself together,

lingering there as if I could somehow transfer

tiny hand clutching Laura's shirt. I gently picked her up, cradling her against my chest. She stirred slightly but settled

stood there for a moment, looking down at Laura, trying to memorize every detail of her

you," I whispered one last time, my

the room, Asha

didn't dare look back.

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