Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

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JOSH - PRESENT DAY

The daycare parking lot was half-empty by the time I pulled up, late as usual. The setting sun cast long shadows over the playground, and I could see a few lingering toddlers wobbling around as teachers corralled them toward their waiting parents.

Asha's little face brightened when she spotted me through the window. She pressed her chubby hands against the glass, her tiny nose scrunching up in excitement. Guilt stabbed through me. She deserved better than a father who was constantly distracted, constantly exhausted, constantly angry at the world.

I barely managed a smile as I stepped inside. Miss Worth- Vivien-was kneeling beside Asha, helping her into her little pink sneakers. The sight of her made my jaw tighten. She looked up, and the moment our eyes met, something in my chest twisted. Hazel eyes, soft but assessing, framed by a cascade of dark curls.

Nothing about her reminded me of Laura. That's what made it worse.

"Daddy!" Asha's little legs carried her forward in an unsteady run, her arms outstretched. I bent down, scooping her up before she could trip over her own feet. She buried her face in my neck, her warm breath tickling my skin.

"Hey, baby girl," I murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. She smelled like baby shampoo and finger paint.

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Vivien straightened, brushing her hands against her skirt. "Rough day?" she asked, her voice careful.

I exhaled sharply. "Something like that."

"Asha had a

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it. The tear in Asha's little white

I intended, and Asha flinched slightly in

serious," she said quickly. "She got a little tangled up on the jungle gym.

rising frustration, wiggled in my arms. "Snack, Daddy?" she asked, rubbing her tired eyes with

"She shouldn't be getting 'tangled up' at all," I snapped. "Isn't someone supposed to be watching her? For the money I am

!

her. It's

I was being an asshole. I knew it wasn't fair. But I was pissed at the universe, at myself, at this never-ending

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288 /urers.

hesitated like she wanted to say something, but then she just

buckling Asha into her car seat as she

I'd managed to get Asha bathed and into bed, I

name flashed

fucking liked looking at her. Since the moment I realized how wrong it felt,

months now, and the last update from the doctors had been predictable

1.

yeah, I was pissed. Pissed that my wife was gone in every way that mattered, pissed that my daughter might never know her mother, pissed that I was even

woman.