Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

My Husband 387

GUILT JOSH

The hallway outside her room felt too long. Too bright. Too goddamn sterile. My footsteps barely made a sound against the polished floors, but inside my head, everything was roaring. Laura was alive.

The words kept looping over and over, but my body hadn't caught up yet. It felt like if I let myself believe it too much, the universe would take it away again.

A doctor had tried to stop me at the nurses' station, spitting out words like stable condition and still on a ventilator, but none of it registered. I'd shoved past them, past the concerned voices, past the fucking security guard who grabbed at my arm. Nothing was going to stop

me.

And then I saw her.

The doors burst open, loud voices calling after me, but none of it mattered.

My heart stopped.

Laura.

Her pale, thin frame was bundled into a wheelchair, her body swallowed up by hospital-issued clothes that hung from her like she was nothing but skin and bone. Her hair was limp, her cheeks hollowed, and her skin too pale under the harsh 0.00%

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GUILT

288 Vouchers

fluorescent lights.

But she was looking at me.

Those eyes-those beautiful fucking eyes-were staring right at me, and I swore I felt something crack wide open in my chest.

Laura was alive.

didn't matter that time had taken from her, that she wasn't the same. She was still the most beautiful thing I

guard grabbed at me again, but I shoved him off, barely sparing him a glance. My feet moved before my brain could catch up, carrying me to her, and then

hard, but I barely felt it. My hands found hers, wrapping around them like if

were so thin. So

kissed them, kissed her wrists, her knuckles, anything I could reach, my

break, but I needed to. I needed to feel her. To prove to

"Laura," I choked out.

and then her hand trembled as she reached for something at her side. The nurse beside her passed her a small whiteboard and a marker, and with a shaky grip,

III

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GUILT

289 Vouchers

Hi, babe.

me. Something between a laugh and

my face, trying to pull myself together, but it was useless. I was smiling even as my vision blurred,

I could have when guilt was

at once, spilling from my mouth like I

up, Laura. I gave up on you. I

my hands tightening

head,

stop the words. "I should've held out.

dropped my head onto her lap,

fingers-moved through my hair, soft and slow, like she wasn't

for forgiveness, for a

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GUILT

288 Vouchers