Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

My Husband 387

GUILT JOSH

The hallway outside her room felt too long. Too bright. Too goddamn sterile. My footsteps barely made a sound against the polished floors, but inside my head, everything was roaring. Laura was alive.

The words kept looping over and over, but my body hadn't caught up yet. It felt like if I let myself believe it too much, the universe would take it away again.

A doctor had tried to stop me at the nurses' station, spitting out words like stable condition and still on a ventilator, but none of it registered. I'd shoved past them, past the concerned voices, past the fucking security guard who grabbed at my arm. Nothing was going to stop

me.

And then I saw her.

The doors burst open, loud voices calling after me, but none of it mattered.

My heart stopped.

Laura.

Her pale, thin frame was bundled into a wheelchair, her body swallowed up by hospital-issued clothes that hung from her like she was nothing but skin and bone. Her hair was limp, her cheeks hollowed, and her skin too pale under the harsh 0.00%

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GUILT

288 Vouchers

fluorescent lights.

But she was looking at me.

Those eyes-those beautiful fucking eyes-were staring right at me, and I swore I felt something crack wide open in my chest.

Laura was alive.

that time had taken from her, that she wasn't the same. She was still the most beautiful

a glance. My feet moved before my

next to her, my knees hitting the floor hard, but I barely felt it. My hands found hers, wrapping around them like if I let go, she'd

so thin.

wrists, her knuckles, anything I could reach, my breath

I needed to. I needed to feel her. To prove

"Laura," I choked out.

side. The nurse beside her passed her a small

III

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Hi, babe.

me. Something between a

my face, trying to pull myself together, but it was useless. I was smiling even as my vision blurred, even as my chest ached with everything I couldn't say. This

as much as I could have when guilt was busy

me all at once, spilling from my mouth like I had no

voice raw, broken. "I-I fucked up, Laura. I gave up on

my

head, squeezing my eyes

better," I kept going, unable to stop the

my head onto her lap,

delicate fingers-moved through my hair,

for forgiveness, for a chance to

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GUILT

288 Vouchers