Letting My Brother's Best Friend Take My V-Card

My Husband 387

GUILT JOSH

The hallway outside her room felt too long. Too bright. Too goddamn sterile. My footsteps barely made a sound against the polished floors, but inside my head, everything was roaring. Laura was alive.

The words kept looping over and over, but my body hadn't caught up yet. It felt like if I let myself believe it too much, the universe would take it away again.

A doctor had tried to stop me at the nurses' station, spitting out words like stable condition and still on a ventilator, but none of it registered. I'd shoved past them, past the concerned voices, past the fucking security guard who grabbed at my arm. Nothing was going to stop

me.

And then I saw her.

The doors burst open, loud voices calling after me, but none of it mattered.

My heart stopped.

Laura.

Her pale, thin frame was bundled into a wheelchair, her body swallowed up by hospital-issued clothes that hung from her like she was nothing but skin and bone. Her hair was limp, her cheeks hollowed, and her skin too pale under the harsh 0.00%

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GUILT

288 Vouchers

fluorescent lights.

But she was looking at me.

Those eyes-those beautiful fucking eyes-were staring right at me, and I swore I felt something crack wide open in my chest.

Laura was alive.

wasn't the same. She was

again, but I shoved him off, barely sparing him a glance. My feet moved before my brain could catch up,

knees hitting the floor hard, but I barely felt it. My hands found hers, wrapping around them like

were so thin. So

kissed them, kissed her wrists, her knuckles, anything

afraid to touch her too much, afraid she'd break, but I needed to. I needed to feel her. To prove to myself that this wasn't some

"Laura," I choked out.

trembled as she reached for something at her side. The nurse

III

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GUILT

289 Vouchers

Hi, babe.

left me. Something between a laugh and a

it was useless. I was smiling even as my vision blurred, even as my chest ached with everything

have when guilt

spilling from my mouth like

Laura. I gave up on you. I

hitched, my hands tightening around

head, squeezing my eyes

to stop the words. "I should've held out. I should've believed-I

head onto her lap, my

delicate fingers-moved through

for forgiveness, for

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GUILT

288 Vouchers