My Husband 387

GUILT JOSH

The hallway outside her room felt too long. Too bright. Too goddamn sterile. My footsteps barely made a sound against the polished floors, but inside my head, everything was roaring. Laura was alive.

The words kept looping over and over, but my body hadn't caught up yet. It felt like if I let myself believe it too much, the universe would take it away again.

A doctor had tried to stop me at the nurses' station, spitting out words like stable condition and still on a ventilator, but none of it registered. I'd shoved past them, past the concerned voices, past the fucking security guard who grabbed at my arm. Nothing was going to stop

me.

And then I saw her.

The doors burst open, loud voices calling after me, but none of it mattered.

My heart stopped.

Laura.

Her pale, thin frame was bundled into a wheelchair, her body swallowed up by hospital-issued clothes that hung from her like she was nothing but skin and bone. Her hair was limp, her cheeks hollowed, and her skin too pale under the harsh 0.00%

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fluorescent lights.

But she was looking at me.

Those eyes-those beautiful fucking eyes-were staring right at me, and I swore I felt something crack wide open in my chest.

Laura was alive.

time had taken from her, that she wasn't the same. She was

sparing him a glance. My feet moved before my

sank down next to her, my knees hitting the floor hard, but I barely felt it. My hands found hers, wrapping

so thin. So

her wrists, her knuckles, anything I could reach, my breath shaking

afraid she'd break, but I needed to. I needed to feel her.

"Laura," I choked out.

lips quirked, just barely, and then her hand trembled as she reached for something at her side. The nurse beside her passed her a small whiteboard

III

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Hi, babe.

Something between a

hand over my face, trying to pull myself together, but it was useless. I was smiling even as my vision blurred, even as my chest ached with everything I

guilt was

all at once, spilling from my mouth like I had no control

sorry," I whispered, my voice raw, broken. "I-I fucked up, Laura. I gave up on you. I almost

hitched, my hands tightening

my head, squeezing my eyes

stop

dropped my head onto her lap, my shoulders

her fingers-her beautiful, delicate fingers-moved through my hair, soft and slow,

should've been begging for forgiveness, for a chance

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