Maid for the Mafia by Jaylee

Then I Name You

**ROMANY**

Mickey gazes back at me warily, shoulders bunched and forearms flexing rapidfire in time with the tick of his jaw. It's almost as if he's stuttered there, frozen in place and torn between the *want* to reach for me and the *need* to let me go. He isn't convinced that I'm being sincere and I have no way to prove it to him.

I'm not stupid enough to believe that a simple *I love you* will fix this, in fact, I'm pretty sure that *those* are the words that would ultimately send him spiraling away. At least, they would if I said them *now.*

A glint of light slivers through the sunroof and slices across his face for a moment and suddenly, I see him like he was that afternoon behind the waterfall. Naked, perfect, and with eyes like emerald fire.

That vision flashes before me and I can almost hear the sounds of the crashing water behind us and feel the pull of his hands on my skin... *God... he could have been mine then too.* His words from that day ring between my ears, and I find myself so close to tears that I can't even try to fight them, but neither do they fall.

*

"You have to know... There is very little that I wouldn't do, just to have you. I'd give you anything. All you have to do is name it."..........*

*Then I name you, Mickey. I want you.*

*But of course... it's way too late.*

find a way. I mean sure, stalking is a crime, and some might argue that I got lucky, but after getting to know Mickey, I know better. Had he just made an

as I try to recall what I felt like to be me when I was eighteen, all I can feel is the giant hole in my heart that was created with the loss of

am disappointed. Not just because it would've been cool to mentally place Mickey somewhere in my past, but because, now

one word and it was all

I'm the fool who had no idea I was being

her. Going from class to class just like anybody else, completely out of tune with the world around me. A lost little fool. That

God-fucking-damn it. That

one thing if I was one of those girls who had been so immersed in her studies that she didn't really see anything beyond her text books, but that's not how I was. Nope. I was a happy go lucky don't know her left from her right fucking airhead with about as much depth as a pan of

been. Until

has passed by the time he speaks again. "Doll, you didn't even know me. You never even knew I was there..." Mickey tosses the words so carelessly that I almost believe he's unaffected, but then he squints down at the floorboard, his hands fisting at his sides before he looks

something tells me, I am always going to.* Winding the silver locks of my stripe around two fingers, I bring them to my lips and try not to think about the day he wanted to take me to the Maldives. *Why didn't I go? Why didn't I say yes? Oh yeah... Ruby.* Well, he and I will never see it together now.

me and I

I can't wait until he wakes up in the morning and finds me gone.* "Romany," Mickey prompts me. "I really do

be."

sigh. "I won't keep you any longer." I try for a quick look in his direction, but when I do, I see

"I know had you stuck around that night and watched a little more intently, you would have seen I wasn't happy being there. You would have known I wasn't having any fun and