Eyes Closed

**ROMANY**

*Oh my God... will I ever learn???*

*How am I this dumb?*

*This is why Ruby never wanted me here.*

*She knew what I didn't. That these men would find a way to break me.*

*They used me. All of them.*

*Maybe not in the same way, but it is what it is.*

The truth of It hits me with the force of a freight train when I realize it, and suddenly I want midnight to come and go so badly that I can hardly stand it. I need to be a ghost. Just a shadow of someone who *once* had a presence here, because I've never been so ashamed in my life.

*Is that why Mickey was able to walk away after seeing me kiss Matthew that night? Because sure, he wanted me, but not in the way that matters. Not in the way that costs.*

am so, so, stupid." One guttural sob escapes before I can stop it, and I turn away before it can get any worse.

hear him growl out. "Wait a

eyes when I feel Mickey's arm snake past me to make sure the back door shut. A moment later, the

snarls in the direction of the front

I

cuckoo clock. I don't neet a fucking weather alert from you about what conditions we might face, either. YOU? Your job is to do what I say when I *feel* like saying it. Other than that, your job is to shut the fuck up.

To

same gate that I will travel under

side of the fence, anyway. Not after I leave. Because even if Santos *does* let me go the way he promised to, I don't think I'll ever want to see this place again. There's an intense pounding behind my eyes and I whimper, keeping them closed tight and not wanting to release the burn of my tears. Mickey's

lips on my ear. "No... baby,

is the first time he's ever called me that, and fool that I am... *I really, really

hand, preparing to open my eyes, but Mickey whispers, "Not yet, baby. Keep those gorgeous eyes closed for

seated. Nodding weakly, I let him press me back against his arm. A shudder passes over his body and I hear him dispel a

commands. "Park beneath that canopy of trees

turned onto a softer patch of road, or maybe grass. Mickey's warm palm glides over my thigh, stopping just under the hem of my robe at the same moment the SUV parks. "Good," Mickey calls out to Kale. "Now cut the engine and step out for me please. Wait right over there next to

eyes, especially when I hear Kale

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