My Love for You Broke Me

Chapter 89

Christopher probably saw the video that took all my pride away. I recalled how I had bid goodbye to him two months ago. I was too afraid to respond to his text as I didn't want to continue bothering him. It wasn't that I didn't want to reply to him—I was simply too afraid. There were tons of missed calls on my phone as well. They were from Clair, Olivia, May, Florence, and so on…

I didn't return any of the calls except Florence's. I had to make an international call as we were both in different countries. She's probably asleep at this hour, I thought. I was just about to hang up when she picked it up. "Renee! I heard about what happened," she uttered. I was speechless for a moment. Right when I thought she was about to comfort me, she let out a heartfelt sigh. "All men are the same, Renee. They always think that they're doing the right thing, but they have no idea what we women want from them! Clair, Nicholas… They're both too selfish. They're using the wrong way to love someone."

"Florence," I mumbled.

"Clair told me all about what happened," Florence uttered in a heavy tone. "Nicholas wanted you alive. He'd rather you survive and hate him forever, as his priority was to keep you alive! However, I understand your point of view—you would rather die than live like that. Men and women can never seem to understand one another. Perhaps that's why there're so many misunderstandings."

"Some things can't be resolved with just pure forgiveness, Florence. Regardless of how we feel about one another, Nicholas and I will never be able to be together again. I'll never be able to convince myself to forgive him," I said. Nicholas was the man I had loved the deepest, but also the man who hurt me the most. My love for him wasn't enough to withstand the pain he had caused me.

"I want you to be happy, Renee! I'll be understanding regardless of the decision you make in the end. I hope you… I know there's no point in me advising you, but I hope that in the future, you will be able to love and hate a person as furiously as you did before. If you ever find someone you love again, I hope you'll be able to go for it!"

"Are you suggesting that I go for someone else?" I asked her dumbfoundedly. She replied, "I once fell for a man. After your brother hurt me, he was the one who took care of me and stayed by my side. Yet, being the useless woman that I was, I gave in to your brother in the end! I chose to return to him, while the man that had been so nice to me was… He's no longer alive now. Your brother… Well, it's hard for things to be resolved after what your brother had done. I can't forgive him! Yet, I can't leave him now. I'm so useless. If I had been braver… if I had more courage, I wouldn't be in this state now…"

Florence's cries came from the other end of the call. I wanted to ask her what happened between her and Clair, but I didn't want to reopen her wounds. "There, there, Florence." I tried to comfort her. She was a woman who had huge amounts of control over her emotions, so she quickly stopped her tears. "I hope you find happiness," she said to me.

Now, my illness was completely cured. All I lacked was a loving relationship. However, things would no longer be possible between Nicholas and me. Yet, I didn't want to fall for anyone else. I loved Nicholas—there was no doubt about that. The love I had for him didn't disappear even though he hurt me. But what exactly did I love about him? I couldn't understand myself at one point.

I couldn't figure out how the man I had chased nine years ago had turned into the Nicholas I knew and how he had turned into Christopher after that. "I'll be happy," I replied, even though I didn't feel hopeful about my own statement. Florence and I chatted for a while more before we ended the call. I couldn't fall asleep after that—there were too many things going on in my mind. I quietly stood up and picked up the car keys to leave the house. I didn't know where I was headed—I didn't have a spot in mind.

I drove around Bryxton, and I somehow ended up on one of the roads near my school. I could still hear the faint sounds of the sentimental piano tune playing in the background. Christopher. If I didn't get the wrong person at the start of it all, would my entire life trajectory have changed?

I thought about the song I had heard in the corridor… 'Someone good like me deserves to live a brilliant life'.

…

My life would've been brilliant if it weren't for Nicholas. Quinn was right—I was the most powerful woman in Bryxton. My life was full of glamor and brilliance until I met Nicholas. Why did I have to meet him?! Why did I end up ruining my life over him?! I couldn't understand how I had ended up in such a state, and the more I thought about it, the worse I felt. I let out a sigh as I allowed tears to trickle down my cheeks. I decided that I would allow myself to cry my eyes out tonight. From tomorrow onwards, I'm not going to let anyone bully me ever again! I'm not going to let love hurt me anymore!

The sound of a piano came from upstairs. It was faint at first, but it grew clearer after a while. It was the song from that year, 'Street Where Wind Resides'. I froze upon hearing the tune. The piano-playing came to an abrupt halt, and a person walked out of the building moments later. He rested his arms against the balcony railings while eyeing me with a concerned gaze.

He seemed especially bright under the starry night. I had said this in the past—I had always felt like the broad universe in his eyes held a place that I could never arrive at. It felt like a faraway land that I didn't have access to. "Christopher," I mumbled.

"Why are you crying, young lady?" This entire scene felt extremely familiar. It was the same location, same spot; it was him looking down from upstairs and me looking up from downstairs. It was raining heavily that day, yet he could tell that I was crying. He questioned me for an explanation. It felt like he had always been able to read my mind. He had always known me really well. I once loved him so much, and I was once willing to sacrifice my entire life…

How did everything turn out like this? I couldn't understand it. The more I thought about it, the more puzzled I felt. "I'm not crying." I smiled as I denied his assumptions. Tears were clearly trickling down my face, yet I told him that I wasn't crying. I was being such a blatant liar.

He gently bent his figure to rest his arms against the balcony railing. The moonlight illuminated his figure, and it felt as if I could hear the song 'Street Where Wind Resides' once more. The tune lingered in my heart and seemed to replay itself somewhere deep in my mind.