One More Chance by Jaycelle Rodriguez

Chapter 118: The difference between Goodbye and Letting Go

~~We had the right love at the wrong time, guess I always knew inside I wouldn't have you for a long time. Those dreams of yours are shining on distant shores and if they're calling you away, I have no right to make you stay. I understand more than you think I can. You have to go out on your own, so you can find your way back home. Letting go is just another way to say I'll always love you so~~~

-Nina Girado-

"I love you." He whispered. "I just love you so much that it left me scared to talk about it, so even though I already knew the truth, I kept pretending as if I don't know anything or didn't hear everything because I don't want to lose you. I'm not ready to lose you and I don't know if I will ever be ready to lose you." Those lines left me dumbfounded in my seat. It also made me completely lose control of my emotions.

We stared at each other for I don't know how long, not knowing what to say and face filled with tears. He stood up and but I closed my eyes for a while, asking my inner self how things ended into this. A few seconds later, I felt him move, but when I heard his footsteps going to the door, my eyes snapped open and I suddenly panicked. So with all the strength, I could muster...

"Marry me!" I screamed at his back before he could even reach the door.

"What?" He immediately turned to me with a deep frown painted on his forehead.

"Marry me, I mean, let's get married!" I said seriously as I wiped my face. It was now he who looked dumbfounded.

"Samantha, what are you talking about---"

"You said you love me and you don't want to lose me, right? Then let's get married and after that, let's go back to New York together." I moved the joystick of the electric wheelchair forward in his direction and stopped right in front of him. "Marry me, David, and let's forget everything."

"Sam, do you hear what you're saying?" He asked and bent down to wipe the tears that kept streaming down my face.

"Yes," I nodded. "I know what I'm saying. I want to go with you and I -- (I stopped as I choked on my sobs) --- I choose you."

"Sam?"

"Please, marry me?" I begged, looking him straight in the eye, but he lowered his head, avoiding my gaze.

He let out a long deep sigh before glancing back at me with eyes that showed defeat and weariness. It's as if I was putting the weight of the world onto his shoulders. "But we can't get married."

I was blown away by his response. Well, honestly I haven't really thought about it. It just slipped out of my mouth due to the guilt and frustration that creeping me inside.

He added shaking his head. He knelt completely

my bottom lip to stop it from quivering. Actually, it

"I can file another divorce petition. We will be divorced a few weeks from now, I promise,

even if you've already divorced him. I can't

you love me and you don't want to

and I mean them! I don't want to let

"I-I don't get it."

out another sigh and cupped my

Sam, but I can't marry you, not because I don't love you or I don't love you anymore. In fact, I love you so much that I'm ready to give up everything for you. But I can't marry you because I don't want to be that kind of selfish ..."

into a relationship where I know you won't

"No---"

understand. You don't have to

I wanted to tell him that my heart also belongs to

way you look at him says everything and that's the reason why I don't want us to talk about it because I know I can't really have you no matter what I do.

first time in my life, I felt my heart numb with pain, guilt and other emotions that I didn't know how to explain. How would I make him believe my feelings for him? How would I tell him that I'm ready to go with him back to New York when I know

I love you, David."

dreary smile curled on his lips as

love you have for me isn't the same as the love you have for him and still have for him. It can't and will never be

told me a few weeks ago suddenly flashed back into me. 'You're just confused about your feelings for him as he gave you the things your husband didn't give to you. He showed you the love and care you

asked myself as I stared at him, but no matter how I

straightened my seat. "Since you're still married, you should settle everything between you two for the sake

his hand

He repeated with

smile. "What

happen

the questions I have in mind that I wanted to ask you when this moment happened, but now guess it's no longer needed as your heart still belongs to him. You should be with him and that the right thing to do. Yes, you're still mad at him for all the mistakes he made in the past, but he's now changing... for good. He's trying his best and doing all the efforts for you and

are you telling me