One More Chance by Jaycelle Rodriguez

Chapter 118: The difference between Goodbye and Letting Go

~~We had the right love at the wrong time, guess I always knew inside I wouldn't have you for a long time. Those dreams of yours are shining on distant shores and if they're calling you away, I have no right to make you stay. I understand more than you think I can. You have to go out on your own, so you can find your way back home. Letting go is just another way to say I'll always love you so~~~

-Nina Girado-

"I love you." He whispered. "I just love you so much that it left me scared to talk about it, so even though I already knew the truth, I kept pretending as if I don't know anything or didn't hear everything because I don't want to lose you. I'm not ready to lose you and I don't know if I will ever be ready to lose you." Those lines left me dumbfounded in my seat. It also made me completely lose control of my emotions.

We stared at each other for I don't know how long, not knowing what to say and face filled with tears. He stood up and but I closed my eyes for a while, asking my inner self how things ended into this. A few seconds later, I felt him move, but when I heard his footsteps going to the door, my eyes snapped open and I suddenly panicked. So with all the strength, I could muster...

"Marry me!" I screamed at his back before he could even reach the door.

"What?" He immediately turned to me with a deep frown painted on his forehead.

"Marry me, I mean, let's get married!" I said seriously as I wiped my face. It was now he who looked dumbfounded.

"Samantha, what are you talking about---"

"You said you love me and you don't want to lose me, right? Then let's get married and after that, let's go back to New York together." I moved the joystick of the electric wheelchair forward in his direction and stopped right in front of him. "Marry me, David, and let's forget everything."

"Sam, do you hear what you're saying?" He asked and bent down to wipe the tears that kept streaming down my face.

"Yes," I nodded. "I know what I'm saying. I want to go with you and I -- (I stopped as I choked on my sobs) --- I choose you."

"Sam?"

"Please, marry me?" I begged, looking him straight in the eye, but he lowered his head, avoiding my gaze.

He let out a long deep sigh before glancing back at me with eyes that showed defeat and weariness. It's as if I was putting the weight of the world onto his shoulders. "But we can't get married."

I was blown away by his response. Well, honestly I haven't really thought about it. It just slipped out of my mouth due to the guilt and frustration that creeping me inside.

He added shaking his head. He knelt completely

it from quivering. Actually, it wasn't the

be divorced a few weeks from now, I promise, but please... please hang on for a while and

Sam, we still can't get married even if you've already divorced

you love me and you

them! I don't want to

"I-I don't get it."

out another sigh

you so much that I'm ready to give up everything for

into a relationship where I know you won't be happy because

"No---"

understand. You don't

I---" I wanted to tell him that my heart also belongs

about it because I know I can't really have you no matter what I do. You don't

guilt and other emotions that I didn't know how to explain. How would I make him believe my feelings for him? How would I tell him that I'm ready to go with him back to New York when I know deep inside what he just said were

love

a dreary smile curled on

you do. It's just that the love you have for me isn't the same as the love you have for him and still have for him. It can't and will never be

flashed back into me. 'You're just confused about your feelings for him as he gave you the things your husband didn't give to you. He showed you the love and care you longed to feel that

I just confused?'- I silently asked myself as I stared at him, but no matter how I asked, the answer hasn't

to him." I straightened my seat. "Since you're still married, you should

asked grabbing his hand as he was about to

repeated with

smile. "What

will happen to

ask you when this moment happened, but now guess it's no longer needed as your heart still belongs to him. You should be with him and that the right thing to do. Yes, you're still mad at him for all the mistakes he made in the past, but he's now changing... for good. He's trying his

you telling me