Chapter 161- Selene Gets a Letter

Selene

“Mommy, are you wake?” A little voice speaks in my ear.

Slowly I return to the waking world, blinking open my tired eyes and registering the warm little body snuggling up against me. “Hello little bean.” I murmur, wrapping my arms around Lila and pulling the covers more tightly around us.

Lila hasn’t slept through the night in her own room since Bastien left. Instead she’s taken to crawling into my bed somewhere between the hours of midnight and dawn, which both warms my heart and makes handling my morning sickness more difficult. Today the sun is just beginning to rise, and Helene’s soothing draughts have actually managed to ease the worst of my symptoms, so I’m happy to simply lie here and cuddle with my daughter until we’re ready to get up.

“Mommy, I had a dream ’bout Daddy.” Her morning puppy breath is terrible, so I tuck her head beneath my chin, earning myself a mouthful of her hair.

“You did?” I inquire, smoothing down her tangled locks, “was it a nice dream, hope?” 

“Uh-huh.” She nods against my breast. “We were playing pony, an’da flying game.”

“That’s wonderful.” I breathe, honestly elated that she’s not having nightmares like I am. I hate that she misses him so much, but I’m glad her dreams are sweet memories rather than horrible possibilities. Ever since talking with Helene, my nights have been haunted with terrible images of Bastien hurt, imprisoned, or dead.

“Mommy, will Daddy be home soon?” Lila wonders aloud.

I’m fully awake now, with a large lump caught in my throat. “I don’t think so, sweetheart.” I admit.

She looks up at me in alarm, and I wonder if my honesty was a mistake. “Why not?”

“Because things aren’t going so well. It might be some time before we see him again, Lila.” I confess.

tiny face twists up, turning red as tears well in her eyes. “But I wan’him home!” “I know, angel.” I hush her gently, wiping

could bring him home for you

“You pwomised he

I admil. “Mommies don’t know everything sweetheart, we

care!” She cries, pushing me away “you‘re never ‘ven

down I know this is just my baby being a toddler and testing her limits, but my heart doesn’t think with

I vow firmly, trying to rub her back and earning a wail for my efforts. “I know I’ve been busy lately and we haven’t gotten to spend as much

sweetheart. I’m

I won’!” She

the words. “That’s not how this works. You can be upset with me all you want, but I’m going to be here whether you like it

in full tantrum mode now, squealing and beating her hands and feet against the mattress while I sit next to her and try to push down my own feelings. It’s no use, within seconds I’m crying too, breaking into a sob and burying my face in my hands instead. I can only imagine the picture we make. If Bastien was here he’d walk in and fuss over us both, comforting me and helping Lila work through her feelings

a mate

and I feel a pair of miniature paws tugging at my wrists. Apparently she realized she wasn’t the only one having a meltdown, and is now determined to see my face. Sighing heavily I drop my hands and show her my red eyes and miserable

forlornly, “I miss your Daddy, and I

Is okay, Mommy.” She sniffles, “I make it better.” She presses sweet little kisses to my wet cheeks, and I

Lila.” I confide, when I can speak again. “I haven’t been giving you enough attention. Why

dat.”

swiping at my cheeks. “Let’s make a deal okay. No more tears today,

Lila nods enthusiastically, “Deal.”

exhausted. By the time we get back to the pack house Lila is passed out in her car seat, and I have to carry her all

all offer to take Lila from me. However I don’t want to let anyone else have her. I put her down for a nap in her room, before rejoining

to realize why the guard’s expression is so urgent, but then Bastien’s scent hits my senses like a ton of bricks. I snatch up the envelope, ripping it open and eagerly extracting its contents. Excitement and relief when I recognize Bastien’s handwriting, but as I begin to read confusion

Selene,

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