Rejecting the Alpha Twins

Chapter 117

Regan POV

I feel strangely detached as I flee upstairs to my room, unable to bear being downstairs in that basement a moment longer. unable to face Xander or meet his eyes. Some part of me recognizes how childish this is, but another part of me can’t help it. I drop onto the bed, feeling as though I’m empty, even as I place a hand on my stomach, wishing I could feel my pup kicking or moving inside of me. Something to distract me from all the bad things that were happening and to give me something hopeful for the future. I sigh and hear a knock at the door. I sniff, smelling one of my mates at the door, and surmise that it can only be Xander. This talk between us was inevitable, I thought with resignation but it could have waited until later. Maybe that was just wishful thinking but I wasn’t exactly looking forward to what he had to say.

“Regan” he calls, his tone firm, “Can we talk?”

I want to refuse, but he opens the door and the moment our eyes meet, I’m lost. My mouth parts as he strides into the room, moving awkwardly to the center, as though fearful to touch me. I frown, wondering if I have been overreacting in such a way that Xander is being careful to keep his distance in case I lose control of myself. He runs a hand through his hair, looking exasperated and at a loss of what to say. I can feel myself wringing both my hands together, feeling inexplicably nervous although I don’t know why.

“What?” I whisper, at last, unable to bear the silence any longer.

He fixes his eyes on me. “Why do you hate me?” he demands, and I let out a large exhale, feeling guilty.

I don’t hate him. I truly don’t. But I am hurt and I’m jealous and I don’t know how to control the feelings that continue to twist my insides and make me want to scream out in fury. Sometimes it feels as though he’s ripped my heart out of my chest and stomped on it, even though I know he didn’t sleep with Isabelle to get her pregnant. I could blame pregnancy hormones, but I know it’s me.

“I don’t hate you” I whisper between quivering lips, feeling the urge to cry.

I could never hate him. Not my mate. That was impossible. He looks surprised by the admission and then upset. “If you don’t hate me then why do you act as though you do?” he asked slowly as I stilled. “You look at me with such condemnation in your eyes” he continued “and you won’t look at me, not fully. It hurts Regan” he admitted, putting a hand over his heart. “Both my wolf and I feel as though we’ve done something unforgivable, and we don’t know how to fix it. I know how much this situation with Isabelle and the pup” he winces “is hurting you but I can’t do anything to make it change.”

He looks devastated and I know I’m to blame for that. I’ve hurt my mate far more than I’ve realized.

has always been overshadowed by Isabelle. You were meant to be her chosen mates. You barely had a glance for me until the day you realized we were fated and then, because I rejected you, you decided that you both had to have me. Do you know how it feels to be second best? As if you both

Not just because as mates, it should have only been me, but because, even now, the whole event, the whole thing, as exciting as it should be for me,” My voice cracks slightly now as his eyes

but always come out as the loser. She was the golden princess and I was the pathetic mutt who got beaten and abused. I was still very much the

Xander ventured to

turned on him with a sharp expression. “Don’t you recall

he shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

“yet you still protect

argued, looking away from me with defeat written

him aback, and sending Xavier running upstairs to us, his body stilling in the doorway as he saw Xander and me facing each other, “and yet you’ve

love the pup you are carrying. Yes, I’ve shown concern towards my other one, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to love any of them less equally” he said quietly, moving forward

I can’t?” I ventured to say, finally forcing the words out of my mouth and causing both twins to look shocked as they stared at me, unable to believe what I was saying. “What if I can’t treat both babies the same, knowing that Isabelle is the mother of one of them? Does that make me seem like some sort of monster? I tried” I confessed, feeling nothing but guilt as understanding dawned in Xander’s eyes. “But the more I think about it, the more I don’t know that I can

Xander breathes, looking apologetic “you won’t be the only one raising these babies. I didn’t realize how much I was asking of you. I was selfish to think that you wouldn’t be affected by the parentage of my pup and to put you in such a position. But you don’t know for certain how you will feel until the child is born, will you?” he asked me gently.

“No, I can’t say

asked and saw love come over his face. over it?

you

don’t show you enough sometimes” he admitted lowly “but I’ve always felt as

I told him earnestly “I’ve just been so angry and so confused, I guess that I took some of that

back away and leave, giving the