Chapter 78
Love Me, Too
I turn on my heels to look at the tree.
Half of it is decorated, and the rest of the ornaments lie in the box. I stare until my eyes burn. It would be beautiful. It would be whimsical, but all I see is the mess I've created.
Aiden's furious face flashes in my mind. Fuck, what was I doing? I'm not a cheater, I can't be. That's terrible. No one deserves that kind of betrayal. I should have ended things with him the moment I felt something for Zaid.
But even that thought doesn't sit right in my chest. Being with Zaid and not Aiden feels
wrong.
I shake my head, pressing a hand to my chest as a wave of emotion drowns me.
Does that mean I have to leave them both?
Pain lances through me.
I would have to move out. Find a job, get an apartment.
Tears prick the back of my eyes.
Zaid's dark, piercing eyes come to mind then, and my knees give out. I sink to the floor, the weight of everything crashing down on me.
Tears blur my vision, and before I know it, I'm sobbing uncontrollably. It all comes at once. The guilt, the confusion, the heartbreak.
My chest feels tight, like I can't breathe.
I think of Aiden's hurt, Zaid's intensity, and my own traitorous feelings. I think of Jake, his warmth and steadiness, and how I've tangled myself in this impossible knot.
How can I live without them?
And at the same time, how can I live with them?
I cry into my hands, letting my love for the three of them express out of me in long sobs.
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Love Me, Too
And then there's the ache of Alex's absence, and the hollow void where my dad should be
this Christmas.
It's all too much.
be putting up a tree without them. I shouldn't be smiling and laughing and moving on. I don't
my eyes, trying to stifle the sobs, but they rip through me,
opening.
me.
my face hastily and curling into myself, but my trembling hands give me
miss the girl in a ball on the floor. But it's
in two so he can piece
the tree first. The way his brows furrow and his lips part in silent awe makes my heart squeeze. But
the floor with a thud as he rushes
his voice soft
manage
cupping my tear-streaked face. "What's
What happened?"
to form words. The
pulls me into his arms without hesitation, holding me tightly as I wrap
let my face
hair,
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Love Me, Too
the top of my head. "I'm
like that, but eventually, Jake shifts. He grabs my legs and wraps them around his waist. He stands as if I
his neck.
upstairs to
lap and wrapping his arms around me. His warmth surrounds me, his steady heartbeat lulling me into a
quiet.
tilts my face to look at him. His fingers brush away
nod, pressing
to talk about
throat. Do I want to talk to him about how I'm in
him
two
I shake my head.
me
that. "That
softly, a chaste press to my lips, and he settles me on
downstairs.
sit there, letting myself catch my breath and kind of feel
not all as terrible as it feels. Maybe
this deep, dark tunnel.
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