Secrets of Us A Forbidden Love Romance (Alina)

Chapter 78

Love Me, Too

I turn on my heels to look at the tree.

Half of it is decorated, and the rest of the ornaments lie in the box. I stare until my eyes burn. It would be beautiful. It would be whimsical, but all I see is the mess I've created.

Aiden's furious face flashes in my mind. Fuck, what was I doing? I'm not a cheater, I can't be. That's terrible. No one deserves that kind of betrayal. I should have ended things with him the moment I felt something for Zaid.

But even that thought doesn't sit right in my chest. Being with Zaid and not Aiden feels

wrong.

I shake my head, pressing a hand to my chest as a wave of emotion drowns me.

Does that mean I have to leave them both?

Pain lances through me.

I would have to move out. Find a job, get an apartment.

Tears prick the back of my eyes.

Zaid's dark, piercing eyes come to mind then, and my knees give out. I sink to the floor, the weight of everything crashing down on me.

Tears blur my vision, and before I know it, I'm sobbing uncontrollably. It all comes at once. The guilt, the confusion, the heartbreak.

My chest feels tight, like I can't breathe.

I think of Aiden's hurt, Zaid's intensity, and my own traitorous feelings. I think of Jake, his warmth and steadiness, and how I've tangled myself in this impossible knot.

How can I live without them?

And at the same time, how can I live with them?

I cry into my hands, letting my love for the three of them express out of me in long sobs.

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Love Me, Too

And then there's the ache of Alex's absence, and the hollow void where my dad should be

this Christmas.

It's all too much.

up a tree without them. I shouldn't be smiling and laughing and moving on. I don't deserve to live, not without

they rip through me, anyway. My breathing becomes shallow and erratic, and I hear the sound

opening.

through me. Who

my face hastily and

look at the entrance, hoping whoever walks in will miss the girl in a ball on the floor. But it's Jakes who walks in

so he can piece me back together in his

part in silent awe makes my heart

a thud as

says, his voice soft

I can manage is a

me, his hands cupping

What happened?"

head, unable to form words. The

hesitation, holding me tightly as I wrap

around his neck and let my face fall

hair, his

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3.15 pm

Love Me, Too

brushing against the top of my head. "I'm here. It's

shifts. He grabs my legs and wraps them around

his neck.

upstairs to his

bed, he sits down, settling me on his lap and wrapping his arms around me. His warmth surrounds

quiet.

my cheeks and tilts my face to look at him. His fingers brush

pressing

you want to talk about

Do I want to talk

him

two

I shake my head.

me to

at that. "That

me softly, a chaste press to my lips, and

downstairs.

breath

Maybe it's not all as terrible as it feels. Maybe there's still a light at

this deep, dark tunnel.