Chapter 176

The Figured it Out

That night, I force myself to slow down, to actually think. Nikki convinced me that it is time to talk to them, and I convince her that I need one more night to process everything.

Tomorrow I will speak to them, open up in ways that I have never opened up before. Ask them questions that will probably make us all question what our future will look like.

I go over every conversation, every moment, trying to make sense of what I feel, of what I

want.

Then, finally, I make a decision. I text our group chat, setting the expectation so we all

know what's needed.

A: Can we all talk after dinner?

J: Sure.

Aiden: Yeah, of course.

Z: Yes.

And just like that, it's set in stone. There's no backing out.

Hours later, we are all sitting in the living room. The guys are sitting beside each other on the couch while I am on a chair I dragged in from the dining table.

I want to face them, look at them all as we speak.

I'm so tense that my stomach knots up. I didn't really eat much of my dinner, nervous about this conversation. My palms are damp, my mouth dry as I lick my lips to try to add

some moisture.

I take a deep breath, searching for something steady, and my eyes find Zaid.

He's watching me, his expression unreadable, but when our gazes meet, everything inside

enough to tell me he's here, that he's with

It's enough.

exhale and finally speak. "I

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The Figured it Out

The room goes still.

his knees as

brows furrow, like he's

and a hot, red blush crawls up his chest

kind eyes and

first to speak.

But for a few days, I really

a slow breath, like he's

anxious energy.

a hand through his hair. "Thank, fuck. Holy shit. I'm way too young to be a

breathy laugh. “Yeah. I know how you feel. I don't

the same time, both Jake and Aiden

hasn't said a word.

aren't you

eyes shift toward his brother and father, still

his eyes. "You

was pain in his voice, like I had betrayed him, like Zaid had, too. I couldn't let

you guys. And I

At the same time. Jake rears back, turning to me with a

with you?" Jake asks, his chest heaving as his breath

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The Figured it Out

nod, chewing on my lip, not really knowing why they

you? He waited in the car?" Aiden asks,

frowning. My eyes go to Zaid, who is staring at his lap. "No, um, he waited in the lobby for

crosses his eyes and I

my hands into his. "Is that

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