Chapter 175

The Figured it Out

That night, I force myself to slow down, to actually think. Nikki convinced me that it is time to talk to them, and I convince her that I need one more night to process everything.

Tomorrow I will speak to them, open up in ways that I have never opened up before. Ask them questions that will probably make us all question what our future will look like.

I go over every conversation, every moment, trying to make sense of what I feel, of what I

want.

Then, finally, I make a decision. I text our group chat, setting the expectation so we all

know what's needed.

A: Can we all talk after dinner?

J: Sure.

Aiden: Yeah, of course.

Z: Yes.

And just like that, it's set in stone. There's no backing out.

Hours later, we are all sitting in the living room. The guys are sitting beside each other on the couch while I am on a chair I dragged in from the dining table.

I want to face them, look at them all as we speak.

I'm so tense that my stomach knots up. I didn't really eat much of my dinner, nervous about this conversation. My palms are damp, my mouth dry as I lick my lips to try to add

some moisture.

I take a deep breath, searching for something steady, and my eyes find Zaid.

He's watching me, his expression unreadable, but when our gazes meet, everything inside

warms. His eyes soften, just enough to tell me he's here, that he's with

It's enough.

exhale and finally speak. "I

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The Figured it Out

The room goes still.

stiffens, his fingers digging into his knees as he keeps

like he's trying

hot, red

just watches me, kind eyes and soft

speak. "You thought

a few days, I really

letting out a slow breath, like he's releasing

anxious energy.

hand through his hair. "Thank, fuck. Holy shit. I'm

a small, breathy laugh. “Yeah. I know how you feel. I don't exactly feel

as if realizing something at the same time, both Jake and Aiden

hasn't said a word.

you reacting?" Aiden

toward his brother and father, still not

narrows his

like Zaid had, too. I couldn't

to tell you guys. And I didn't

Jake rears back, turning to me with a pale face and blinking

the doctor's with you?" Jake asks, his chest heaving as his breath picks

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The Figured it Out

really knowing why they are

in the car?" Aiden asks, trying

who is staring at his lap. "No, um, he

hairline and Jake looks like he can't breathe. Something crosses his eyes and I can't quite place it. It's

taking my hands into his. "Is that what you wanted to tell us? That

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