Chapter 174

I Need Them

I need to get out of the house.

The walls of my room have been starting to suffocate me and my head hurts from all the crying. Everything is closing in and I know I'm letting my thoughts go just a little too

crazy.

I can't sort through them.

I make up my mind to go bother Nikki. She'll listen without judging me and I think I need her overpowering personality right about now.

I text her before I even put my shoes on.

A: Coming over. Need some Nikki therapy.

Her response is immediate.

N: Door's open. I'll be waiting. <3

By the time I get to her house, she's already in the kitchen, digging through the cabinets. She barely glances at me as she pulls out an old bottle of vodka, shaking it for emphasis.

"Something tells me we're going to need this. Wait, you're not pregnant, right? You've been ignoring my messages."

I roll my eyes. "You mean the ones were you just send me the pregnant emoji with a question mark?"

She shrugs. "I didn't think I needed to spell it out for you."

I drop onto a stool at the kitchen island, exhaling sharply. “I'm not pregnant.”

Nikki freezes, then slowly turns to face me. Her lips part like she wants to say something, but then she just sighs, a deep sigh of relief: "Holy shit."

I let out a breath of my own as she twists the cap off the bottle and pours two shots. She slides one toward me before raising hers.

"To not being pregnant."

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I Need Them

I echo,

down, but I barely feel it. My mind is

have to say anything before Nikki is

Because that's not all

glass, running my finger around the rim.

brows shoot up. "Of

to do with it, how it's all messed up because of everything he's done right and everything he's done wrong. The way he looked at me when I threw his words back in his

time I finish, Nikki's jaw is

breathes, shaking her

my lips

"I'm so sorry."

air and reach for the bottle, ditching the shot

a long gulp from

her

hiss, grimacing from the burn down my throat. I fucking

fills the room, and she plays with the glass in her

"Do you love Jake and

in my chest at the thought. "I don't

"I

right. It's different. I love Zaid, but Jake and

losing them would destroy

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I Need Them

gather my thoughts, taking

like

it the alcohol making

lot, girl. How do you think they would

shrug. "Do I have

eyes widen. "Don't you want to tell

different. He sees me when I feel like no one else does. And it infuriates

the same time?"

"I would

onto the counter.

chuckles. "Because you're dating three guys. You need to

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